Which team makes Degsy so horny he could do a goat? There's only one way to find out - if you really want to.
The ground is soulless, the worst signing abject and the celebrity fan a c***. Still, you can buy a hard hat...
Middlesbrough win their first PL game since December. Sunderland could be relegated this weekend.
Arsene Wenger made six changes and used a three-man defence to manoeuvre a win over Boro. Genius.
Juninho says he almost joined Liverpool after suffering relegation with Middlesbrough in 1997.
It turns out Tottenham paid less in agent fees over the past two windows than Bournemouth. Cool.
Forget Claudio Ranieri; this is the day football really died. Middlesbrough have confirmed the departure of Karanka.
Boro midfielder Adam Clayton has signed a contract extension which will keep him at the club until 2021.
You know the rules: the big clubs are on the TV a bit. Some games have been moved about too. Come see.
Heck, Thomas Meunier even turned down Middlesbrough. Mental. He did it for Champions League football.
Sutton will face Lincoln in the FA Cup quarter-finals after they beat Arsenal on Monday. And United face Chelsea.
Aitor Karanka says MIddlesbrough learned a lesson the last time they played against Everton.
Middlesbrough have signed Adlene Guedioura from Watford for a fee of around £4million.
Non-league pair Sutton and Lincoln City have been handed Premier League opposition.