Ashes Paper Talk

England wrapped up an emphatic 347-run victory over Australia in the second Ashes Test at Lord's - with play finishing a day early.

Last Updated: 22/07/13 at 10:48 Post Comment

England celebrate winning the second Test

England celebrate winning the second Test

Here's what Fleet Street's finest made of it all.

Paul Hayward - The Daily Telegraph

"'If you fancy a competitive game we are only an hour's flight from London,' tweeted the Deutscher Cricket Bund, thus proving that Germans have a sense of humour after all and that Australia have exposed themselves to ridicule."

Vic Marks - The Guardian

"Joe Root can do no wrong at the moment. There were those 180 runs in the second innings, when after reaching three figures he underwent a remarkable metamorphosis from Atherton to Amla. Now his captain, Alastair Cook, could toss Root the ball and all would be well. And so it was."

Paul Newman - Daily Mail

"Australia could, of course, win the last three Tests but they have only ever done that once and they had Sir Don Bradman batting at three then rather than Usman Khawaja. There is about as much chance of that this time as India willingly embracing the Decision Review System."

John Etheridge - The Sun

"England administered such a savage beating that some people are actually starting to feel sorry for Australia. That's right, sympathy - pity, even - for a cricketing nation that gloatingly thrashed the living daylights out of us Poms for almost two decades."

Oliver Holt - The Mirror

"We are entitled to ask, as the Sydney Morning Herald once did of the England rugby team: 'Is that all you've got?' Australia were abject at the Home of Cricket and the chasm between the sides that they had managed to disguise in Nottingham is now blindingly obvious. They are 2-0 down in the series and heading for a whitewash. If they do not win at Old Trafford in the Third Test, England will retain the Ashes."

Chloe Saltau - The Age

"The most sobering aspect of Australia's crash from mediocrity to desperation is there is no clear way back. The Argus report now looks like an expensive navel-gazing exercise. Several of its key recommendations are in mothballs. The coach brought in to restore a winning culture has been sacked. The captain, Michael Clarke, is no longer a selector - a flawed concept to begin with. Australia, far from climbing back towards No.1, face their sixth straight Test defeat, a streak not seen since they were pummelled by the West Indies in 1984."

Malcolm Knox - Sydney Morning Herald

"'Real-life shark experts' have reassured audiences that Sharknado, a film in which man-eaters devour people after being deposited into their midst by a massive storm and flood, is 'fantasy'. It was a relief to hear that such an imbalance between predator and helpless victim lacks plausibility. It gave rise to hopes that the made-for-cable schlockfest at Lord's over the past four days might also be declared, by real-life something experts, as the work of an underpaid imagination."

Malcolm Conn - News Limited Network

"The excitement generated by Darren Lehmann's appointment as coach and the buoyant mood after a close loss at Trent Bridge has proved a false dawn. There is a sense of foreboding about what lies ahead, with yesterday's enormous loss the second worst runs defeat by Australia in Ashes history and the worst in England."

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I

m only commenting on this (I don't care about Liverpool) because F365's twitter said I had call Matt Stanger a tw*t (which I don't agree with anyway) but I just wanted to be the first. Am I the first?

tk421
Trial And Error Rather Than Transition

S

unday, Sunday. Will there be a fan of either team, who if they are winning after 80 mins, won't still be nervous? This could be anything from 0-0 to 5-5, and no one would bat an eye.

megabrow (cufc)
A Season Of Continuous False Dawns

T

his year I am getting F365 a whack-a-mole game but with Brendan instead of the mole (Like the one with JD on Scrubs) and every time he pops up he says something. Outstanding Whack!, Character Whack!, Magnificent Whack!, Wonderful Composure Whack, Whack f**king Whack. Hours of fun.

hump3.
Trial And Error Rather Than Transition

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