Tottenham v Newcastle
Jimmy Defoe's injury is a big blow for Spurs but the million dollar question is whether Le Toon can contain the boy Bale. He copped for this page last week and also scored for Wales in the week. Both Coral and Ladbrokes are prepared to go 7/4 about him scoring here so my advice is lump on old monkey chops and put it right on the toes of those camel coats as Bale is on fire just now.
Betting: Bale to score anytime at 7/4. (Coral/Ladbrokes)
Chelsea v Wigan
Chelsea have been all over the shop recently but Wigan's record at the Bridge is utter dogsh*t. I certainly wouldn't be jumping through hoops to back the Blues at 4/11 but I do like the 4/5 about both teams scoring. My argument is if Brentford can score two past this uncertain, incohesive Chelsea defence, then you can bet your bollocks Wigan can.
Betting: Both teams to score at 4/5 (Betfred/Ladbrokes)
Norwich v Fulham
I have recently acquired a budgie called Fernando and, in an effort to outdo Paul the World Cup octopus, am trying to train him to tip football winners. I read out a list of 'First Goalscorer' odds to my newly acquired parakeet and he got particularly excited when I said the words 'Wes Hoolahan'. The Dubliner has scored two in his last three matches and is 11/1 at the time of writing so if he pulls this off, rest assured I'll buy Fernando a carrot, or whatever the f*ck it is he eats.
Betting: Hoolahan to score first at 11/1 (Coral)
Stoke v Reading
Stoke are toiling just now, a side bereft of confidence who seem to be playing an 8-0-2 formation most weeks. In stark contrast, Reading have won five of their last six and really have been rocking and rolling since Christmas. 7/2 about the away win here simply can't be passed up.
Betting: Reading to beat Stoke at 7/2 (Blue Sq)
Sunderland v Arsenal
The outpouring of love for Jack Wilshere in recent weeks has been extraordinary. An Arsenal mate of mine text me dubbing him the 'New Chuck Norris', but in his defence I think he had been taking M-Cat for two days (that's my mate, not Wilshere). He absolutely ran the show against Brazil and if he can carry that form up to Wearside then 10/11 quotes about Arsenal winning at Sunderland for the second year in a row will look huge.
Betting: Arsenal to beat Sunderland at 10/11 (bet365/Betfred/Coral)
Swansea v QPR
Oi oi oi! Sometimes a bet comes along that oozes a level of sexiness that makes it simply impossible not to be aroused. And since spotting the 4/5 that this match will feature less than three goals I have been walking about with half a bar on. Swansea have failed to score in their last three, while QPR are giving absolutely nothing away at the back right now and have been bolstered by the arrival of Chris Samba. The Rs produced the goods for this page last week by keeping a clean sheet against Norwich and if they can put a similar shift in this week then I don't see how this bet loses.
Betting: Under 2.5 goals at 4/5 (Sky Bet)
Southampton v Man City
Rumours abound on Twitter on Thursday night that Bobby Mancini had walked away from Citeh. But I didn't care. I was still reeling from the revelation that Steve Beaton was now following me. That's 1996 Embassy World Darts Champion Steve Beaton. The Bronzed Adonis. Made it, ma! Top of the world! I digress. The Saints gave a great account of themselves at the Etihad earlier in the season and will be up for this. But their free-flowing style may just be meat and drink to the champions and I rather like the look of current 11/5 quotes that Sergio Aguero outscores Carlos Tevez in the match.
Betting: Aguero to outscore Tevez at 11/5 (Paddy Power)
Aston Villa v West Ham
The sooner Villa are relegated the better. I had a fortune on them at evens to qualify for the League Cup final at the expense of Bradford going into their second leg the other week and they blew it. Then last weekend their 3-3 draw at Everton buggered up a rather snazzy 3/1 four-fold I had going. The sh*t bags. I'm not confident they can get past a very mediocre West Ham side but a bet I like is 7/1 about Andy Carroll scoring first. Yes, I know he has only got two goals all season but if you look a little closer at those stats he has actually scored those two goals in his last four games. And I have it on good authority that a recent change in shampoo and conditioner products has really galvanised da beg fella.
Betting: Carroll to score first at 7/1 (bet365)
Manchester United v Everton
ManYoo have won just two of their last six against the Toffees and if Sunday's game is anything like the 4-4 draw the teams played out at Old Trafford last year, look out for Gary Neville ripping into David de Gea again. The Red Devils are 4/5 to win this and will definitely have their backers at said odds. Yet having had my pants pulled down backing Fergie's mob at Goodison and in that eight-goal thriller last term I am looking to recoup some dough in rather audacious fashion. Phil Neville is 40/1 to be named Man of the Match. Granted, 'Fizzer' is getting on in years now but if his side can eke out a 1-0 win (not beyond the realms) and he makes a few timely interceptions at key moments (ditto), look for the former Red to get loads of man love at the Theatre of Dreams.
Betting: Neville to be MOM at 40/1 (Bet Victor)