10) Hugo Rodallega (Fulham)
Quite how much the Colombian is earning at Fulham is unknown but two things are obvious: a) it must be a fair whack because Everton were allegedly put off signing the occasional striker by wage demands of £70,000 a week when he left Wigan and b) it is way, way, way too much. For his large pile of money, Rodallega delivered three goals (Chris Baird scored two), one assist and precious little else last season while Dimitar Berbatov beautifully demonstrated that sometimes paying big bucks for a free transfer can be A Good Thing. And he has two more years on his contract. Well done, Hugo.
9) Stewart Downing (Liverpool)
There are conflicting reports about Stewart Downing's wages but whether he earns £70,000 a week or £80,000 a week, we can all agree that Liverpool have overpaid just a tad for two years of mediocrity. Last season was definitely an improvement for Downing (he scored and assisted at least once. Whoop-de-doo.) but a total of three goals and five assists from a winger who cost an initial £20m and around £7m in wages (so far) is a magnificent argument against the Moneyball theory that apparently contributed to his very expensive acquisition. Unless of course you're using Scouse Maths, which clearly demonstrate that Liverpool have made a healthy profit on the former (please) England man.
8) Abou Diaby (Arsenal)
When your number of injuries over a three-year period (11) is almost half the number of Premier League games you have started (23), it's pretty clear that you are a drain on resources. When your wages total £60,000 a week, that's a hell of a drain on the resources of a club who have struggled to attract big-name players precisely because of a reluctance to pay high wages. Nobody asks to be crocked - and the cruciate ligament injury likely to keep him out until 2014 is particularly painful - but there will be few Gunners shedding tears when his contract finally expires next summer. Unless of course he comes back 'like a new signing' in January and earns himself a new deal.
7) Darren Bent (Aston Villa)
When Darren Bent's spell at Aston Villa is assessed in its entirety, he has proved a bargain even at £20m because his nine-goal haul at the end of the 2010/11 season kept them in the Premier League. But now, with Bent very much surplus to requirements under Paul Lambert's management, his £70,000-a-week wages simply create a massive black hole in Villa's finances. Bent started just eight Premier League games last season as Lambert put all his eggs in one giant Belgian basket and he is available to any club willing to pay a £6m fee and match those hefty wages this summer. Despite noises about Newcastle - whose days of taking on high-earning Englishmen are long gone - there have been no takers.
6) Emmanuel Adebayor (Tottenham)
'Tottenham are willing to listen to offers for Emmanuel Adebayor as they try and try and get the £100,000-a-week striker off their wage bill,' 'revealed' the Daily Mail recently. We say 'revealed' because we should think it would be pretty sodding obvious that Tottenham would like to stop paying £100,000 a week to a player who scored five Premier League goals and endeared himself to absolutely nobody with his lackadaisical stylings last season. We also think it's pretty sodding obvious that there's no club in Europe who would take a 29-year-old Togolese striker who leaves that kind of dent on the wage bill.
5) Fernando Torres (Chelsea)
If a player scores 23 goals in a season, you probably would not expect to see him included on a list of Premier League wage drains. But if a player scores 23 goals in a season, only eight of them are actually in the Premier League and he earns £175,000 a week, we think his inclusion is utterly justified. If you're paying world-class wages then you're expecting world-class returns but Torres delivered less than Rickie Lambert in the Premier League last season for about five times the price. Chelsea may have offloaded Florent Malouda, Yossi Benayoun and Paulo Ferreira this summer but there's one man who is still enjoying the fatted calf without bringing anything other than salad to the barbecue.
4) Marouane Chamakh (Arsenal)
Sometimes free transfers can be awfully expensive. A recent report in the Daily Mirror estimated that Marouane Chamakh has cost Arsenal a whopping £14m over the last three years. Which is an awful lot of money for someone who has scored one Premier League goal in the last two seasons. Even when he was farmed out to West Ham on loan in January, Arsenal still paid half of a salary which - according to that particular Mirror report - totals £93,000 a week. "I am very sorry about this news Chamakh has sign a 6 month loan deal! not my pick :(" was the way that news of that Hammers' loan was broken by David Sullivan's son Jack. Imagine the distress if they'd been paying all his wages...
3) Anderson (Manchester United)
"We are delighted. Anderson has developed tremendously since joining us; he is going to be a really top player," said Sir Alex Ferguson when Anderson signed a new five-year deal in 2010 reported to be worth a whopping £80,000 a week. We're not sure Fergie would be quite so delighted when he left Old Trafford three years later, having seen the Brazilian waddle out to start a Premier League match just 31 times in that period. If Anderson leaves this summer, one United fans' website estimates that he will have cost a grand total of £50m in transfer fee, bonuses and wages. But the excellent news is that they might recoup £8m.
2) Shay Given (Aston Villa)
There's some speculation that Shay Given will turn up for Aston Villa training this week to be greeted with a cheque for £5m and told to bugger off. That would consititute a little more than half of the wages Given will cost the club if he stays for the last three remaining years of his £60,000-a-week contract. What a phenomenal decision Alex McLeish made when offering the Irish keeper a five-year deal at the age of 35 while showing Brad Friedel the door because he was turning 40. Paul Lambert came in, took one look at Given (well, two - Villa lost both games) and then decided that Brad Guzan would be his first-choice keeper while Given became one hell of an expensive reserve.
1) Maicon (Manchester City)
"Interest from Roma? Italian football is going through a bad time economically so it is difficult to take players with this kind of salary," said Maicon's agent after his client was linked with a return to Serie A. 'This kind of salary' is reportedly somewhere in the region of £100,000 a week. For a 31-year-old who featured in 13 matches for City last season in all competitions. Roberto Mancini made some monumental cock-ups last season but his biggest could be the purchase of a past-it player who was paid a hell of a lot of money to become City's third-choice right-back. We suspect Maicon's name may have arisen in City discussions that ended with the word 'holistic' and a kick in the arse for Mancini.