ANDROS TOWNSEND TO UNITED? REALLY?
Well, deadline day was always likely to bring some sort of mental rumour, and The Sun come up trumps with one from nowhere.
They report that David Moyes wants Andros Townsend in a 'stunning swoop.'
The paper claims Moyes has admired Townsend for some time, and has been impressed enough with his start to the season to consider him a long-term successor to Nani and Antonio Valencia.
However, they do concede that Moyes 'may end up having to wait until the summer' to buy him, with Spurs not keen to sell today.
Meanwhile, The Sun claims United remain hopeful of signing Toni Kroos, but again that one will be a tad unlikely before we all turn into transfer pumpkins later tonight.
BERBA BACK TO SPURS?
Interesting whispers doing the rounds that Dimitar Berbatov could be on his way back to White Hart Lane.
The Daily Telegraph reckons Berba is keen on the move, but The Daily Mirror reckons a domino effect could scupper that one.
Apparently West Ham are trying to gazump Fulham's move for Kostas Mitroglou, which would mean Berba staying at Craven Cottage.
It could be a busy day at Fulham, with talk that Lewis Holtby could even make a permanent move for as much as £8million, or perhaps just a loan, while they are also apparently set to sign Manchester United youngsters Ryan Tunnicliffe and Larnell Cole on permanent deals.
NO DRAXLER DEAL
The bad news for Arsenal fans is that the Julian Draxler deal seems to be off. For now, anyway.
The Daily Star reports that a deal has not been and will not be done before 11pm tonight, and furthermore that he will be a target for a number of English clubs in the summer, with Manchester City, Manchester United and Chelsea all apparently keen.
So what are the alternatives? Mirko Vucinic has of course been mentioned, but interestingly The Daily Mirror suggests Lazio forward Miroslave Klose could arrive on loan.
The Daily Mail says a move for Christian Tello is unlikely, so Arsene Wenger might turn back to Alvaro Morata.
CITY IN FOR FERNANDO & MANGALA
Manchester City could be unexpectedly busy sorts this deadline day, with The Daily Mirror claiming they could strike a couple of deals to beef up their defence.
The paper claims they are in talks with Porto over a £46million 'double swoop' for defensive midfielder Fernando and centre-back Eliaquim Mangala.
The Mirror claims: 'Mangala is the Premier League-leading Blues' No.1 target and they are prepared to splash out £38m to land the 22-year-old centre-half.
'City have been tracking him for months and had seen the France international as a summer target, but have made their move now after being told there is a chance they could land him before the transfer window closes at 11pm Friday.
'They are racing against the clock to clinch Mangala's signing at the time of writing, and fear the odds of completing a deal are against them.'
The Daily Telegraph report that PSG are keen on Mangala as well.
KONOPLYANKA ON HIS WAY
Quick one from The Daily Mail, who claim that Liverpool should sign Yehven Konoplyanka today, despite interest from Spurs.
Apparently they are 'poised' to sign the Ukraine winger for about £15million.
The Mail claims: 'Liverpool still need to meet wage demands of around £100,000 a week to land the 'major' signing earmarked by Brendan Rodgers.
'Managing director Ian Ayre flew out to the Ukraine on Wednesday to try and tie up a deal although the player is understood to be on the club's training camp in La Manga, Spain.'
So it actually doesn't seem quite as straightforward as it might seem. Could be an 11pm job, this.
AND THE REST...
Chelsea are on the verge of landing St Etienne defender Kurt Zouma...West Ham are trying to hijack Fulham's bid to sign Konstantinos Mitroglou...Wantaway Wes Hoolahan faces being fined by Norwich after launching a foul-mouthed attack on the club. Aston Villa have had a bid for the midfielder rejected and he's had a transfer request turned down...Southampton boss Mauricio Pochettino has told bad-boy Dani Osvaldo he can never play for the club again because of his vicious training-ground assault on team-mate Jose Fonte...Newcastle target Clement Grenier has rejected a move to Tyneside as Yohan Cabaye's midfield replacement - and accused the Magpies of not making Lyon a fair offer...Joleon Lescott is set to stay at Manchester City and see out the remaining six months of his contract at the Etihad. Besiktas, West Ham and Fulham all showed interest...Everton defender John Heitinga is in talks with Galatasaray, but Toffees manager Roberto Martinez says a deal is far from certain.
Tom Ince is poised to complete a £1million loan move to Crystal Palace on Friday...West Ham are in talks with Napoli full-back Pablo Armero...Sunderland will not let Lee Cattemole leave today. Liam Bridcutt is on the verge of a move to Sunderland from Brighton...QPR are considering a £4.5million move for West Ham's Mohamed Diame. PSG could battle Man City for Eliaquim Mangala...Chelsea will sign midfielder Mario Pasalic in a £2.5m deal from Hajduk Split...Newcastle have held talks with Benfica midfielder Filip Djuricic, and could sell Papiss Cisse to Rubin Kazan...Crystal Palace are aiming to sign Scott Dann from Blackburn...Celtic are on the verge of signing Leigh Griffiths from Wolves...Crystal Palace have launched an £800,000 deal for Celtic's Joe Ledley...Hibs are closing on a loan move for Sunderland winger Duncan Whatmore.
Yes, everyone has forgotten how good nani can be because: a) it happened once in 2009 and never since; b) it only lasted for 30 seconds. and its rap not wrap- bobsy