Manchester United v Aston Villa
Well excuse me if I don't get excited by 4/9 quotes about a home win. In the words of the Bard, 'a couple of wins over Olympiakos and West Ham does not a summer make' and the truth is those victories merely papered over the fact that the Red Devils are bang ordinary this season. I may though be tempted by Wayne Rooney at 15/4 to score first. Much has been made of Wazza's new bumper contract. £300k a year. That's 43k a day. Indeed by the time you have finished reading this page Roon-aldo will have earned £70. By my calculations, he's that rich now if he dropped a fiver in the street it's not financially viable for him to actually pick the f*cker up. But I do expect him to 'cash in' against a Villa defence who shipped four goals against Stoke last week.
Betting: Rooney to score first at 15/4 (Bet Victor)
Crystal Palace v Chelsea
Fact: No team has scored fewer Premier League goals than Palace this season (19). Fact: No team has conceded fewer Premier League goals than Chelsea this term (23). Fact: Chelsea to win this without conceding is the best odds-against shot in sport this weekend.
Betting: Chelsea to win to nil at 11/8 (Sky Bet)
Southampton v Newcastle
The Mags are still struggling for goals and were, according to an eye witnesses, "a bag o sh*te, like", against Everton in the week. The Saints looked very lively in attack v Spurs last Sunday and in Jay Rodriguez have a young striker who has scored in each of his last three games and who will cause anyone problems.
Betting: Southampton to win both halves at 7/2 (Paddy Power)
Stoke City v Hull City
This one is no cakewalk to call with both teams putting in shifts recently veering from the sublime to the downright ridiculous. Hull need the points more but looked totally uninspired against West Ham in the week and could slip to another defeat on their travels at the Britannia.
Betting: Both teams to score - Stoke to win at 4/1 (bet365)
Swansea v Norwich
Swansea, with their injury-time own goal equaliser at the Emirates on Tuesday night, must have been the scourge of punters up and down the land. It was a remarkable result but I can't have them at odds-on here given they have not win in the league since February 8. I do like the look of Wilfred Bony to score first though. The Ivorian had bagged 20 goals this season and will be looking to score for his third consecutive game when the Canaries come to town.
Betting: Bony to score first at 9/2 (Paddy Power)
West Brom v Cardiff
Unders. Unders. And again Unders. If this game produces more than 2.5 goals I shall gladly cook my own gonads with onions and Herbes de Provence in a George Foreman grilling machine.
Betting: Under 2.5 goals at 19/20 (Bet Victor)
Arsenal v Manchester City
The good news for beleaguered Arsenal fans is that this isn't an early kick-off. Already this season they have been hit for six twice and five once in games starting at 1245pm. The bad news is they face a Man City side who are purring again and I fully expect Manuel Pellegrini's charges to claim the win here and will be all over them at the Emirates. It's been a horrible week for the Gunners, who saw their faltering title challenge extinguished by Swansea the other night. Citeh meanwhile are back in the scoring groove and in Yaya Toure have one of the most complete midfielders of the past 25 years in their ranks.
Betting: Both teams to score - Manchester City to win at 29/10 (Ladbrokes)
Fulham v Everton
Fulham look doomed while Everton are absolutely flying and may just sneak into a top-four finish the way things are panning out. In Ross Barklay they have a player plenty are dubbing 'the new Gazza' and his wonder goal against Newcastle in the week was right out of the top drawer. If he is 'the new Gazza' then Everton, England and plastic t*t manufacturers up and down the land are in business and 'Ross the Boss' can help the Toffees to yet another crucial three points at Craven Cottage.
Betting: Everton to win at 4/5 (Sky Bet)
Liverpool v Tottenham
Watching Luis Suarez against Palace on Wednesday night it is clear that El Pistolero is dancing to a different beat. Fast, direct, two-footed and outrageously skilful, he's a player operating at the very peak if his powers. And given that Tottenham's defence sometimes play as though they are tramps drunk on cheap sherry who have never seen each other before, it's not beyond the realms of possibility that King Luis snares a brace or better in this one.
Betting: Suarez to score 2+ goals at 11/4 (Hills)