Search

The Page That Is Going For A Walk In The Woods

More calendar bullsh*t, the missing man at Chelsea, Mickey Owen gets injured by a slightly chilly gym and...

Last Updated: 04/12/12 at 12:56

This Again
Oh god, this sh*t again?

Once more, The Daily Mirror claims an EXCLUSIVE! with their story that a player is on his way out of a football club because he's missing from their official calendar.

Once again, this calendar has been available to purchase from little-known boutique internet store Amazon since October 15, so quite how EXCLUSIVE! the story is, we're not entirely sure.

Anyway, you probably know the form by now, but The Daily Mirror reports: 'Manchester United winger Nani has been left off the club's official 2013 calendar - fuelling rumours he'll be heading out the Old Trafford exit door in the New Year.'

At the risk of repeating ourselves, other players missing from the calendar include David de Gea, Anders Lindegaard, Rafael, Patrice Evra, Rio Ferdinand, Phil Jones, Jonny Evans, Chris Smalling, Anderson and Darren Fletcher. Presumably they're all off too, right?

It's perfectly possible that Nani will leave United in the summer, but his presence or otherwise on a f*cking calendar does not indicate this one way or the other.

Still, people will click on it, so we guess that makes it a story...


Missing Man
We know you probably don't have to have the strongest attention span to work for The Daily Star, but Paul Brown excelled himself in this morning's story about David Luiz having words with his Chelsea team-mates.

Brown writes: 'Luiz has often been criticised and was one of several players below par in the 3-1 thumping at West Ham that has turned up the heat on boss Rafa Benitez.'

Indeed, so little impact did Luiz have on the game that it appeared he wasn't on the pitch. Which is because he wasn't - Gary Cahill and Branislav Ivanovic were the centre-back pairing as Luiz was suspended.

We wouldn't mind so much, but it was Brown who wrote the Star's match report for the game in their Monday edition.


Just Put The Heating On, Tony
Michael Owen is not injury prone. He said so himself. Hell, it's in a brochure, so it must be true.

However, since he has managed just 53 minutes over four sub appearances for Stoke, it doesn't help dispel these obviously lazy conclusions that everyone else has reached.

And neither does the following from Tony Pulis:

"Michael was doing some work in the gym and just felt his hamstring. I think it was just the cold."

So there you have it - Michael Owen can now be injured by a slightly chilly gym.


Oh Ian...
Writes Ian Wright in The Sun:

'Arsenal's 2-0 defeat to Swansea on Saturday was another massive blow and the less said about my former team the better.'

Unfortunately, Ian doesn't take his own advice and continues for a further 211 words.


I Don't See Nuthin' Wrong
Said Arsene Wenger during his press conference on Monday:

"Do you want them to dance after they have lost?"

Actually, that sounds like a great idea - it could be a punishment, and a way to cheer up a disgruntled support. In the centre circle - possibly a polka or, if they've lost particularly badly, an R-Kelly style bump n' grind.


'Awwwww' Tweet Of The Day
'The @PremierLeague have announced the next sequence of TV games for February - and we are not scheduled to be televised' - The Reading official Twitter feed makes us want to give them a big hug.

Contradictory Statement Of The Day
"I didn't provoke it. I was just doing my job" - Photographer Paddy Cummins gives his take on why Andy Carroll may have attacked him for taking pictures of him on West Ham's Christmas bantz-filled night out.

Optimist Of The Day
"In the position we're in, we're looking for wins but we are two games unbeaten now" - Ryan Nelsen takes the positives from going a whole 180 minutes not getting hugely pumped.

Non-Football Headline Of The Day
'Famous woman pregnant shock' - The Metro Herald say what we're all thinking.

Worst Headline Of The Day
'Super Ba on double Tyne' - The Daily Star.

Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A traffic policeman who spent £5,000 on breast implants for his former girlfriend is suing her for compensation after she dumped him. Model Patricja Pajak, 24, says she broke off with police officer Lukasz Molovik's because he was obsessed with the size of her breasts. "I didn't want the surgery but Lukasz kept going on about it and saying how big his ex's breasts were," she complained. "He kept showing me pics of her and pressing me to have an enlargement. Because I loved him, I agreed. But he was more in love with my breasts than with me," she added.

'Now Mr Molovik, of Lowicz in Poland, is suing his ex for half the amount he spent on her boobs. Lawyers say he is suffering from "loss of use" of the 32 DD boobs after Miss Pajak broke up with him. "To be frank about it, I didn't spend all that money so some other man can ogle her boobs instead of me," Mr Molovik said' - Orange.


Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Eamonn Young, James Dart and Mathieu Stangre. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.

Football365 Facebook Fan Page

The Football365 fan page is a great place to meet like minded people, have football related discussions and make new friends.

Related News

Sky Bet

    • Retrieving latest Sky Bet odds

Most Commented

Readers' Comments

T

he day Tonys hat goes missing for some bantz will be different story altogether..

TheBrestEver
Stoke probe 'banter gone wild'

I

m starting to think Roman may never actually be happy at the top level. If he wants all conquering fancy football I wonder if he'd be better off buying a lower division side then paying outlandish salaries to attract high caliber players too good for the division.

john matrix
The Most Unsatisfying European Victory...

R

afa has to be favourite for the Everton job now, surely :) He'll realise his ambition to live and work on Merseyside again, get the best out of whoever plays for them, maybe win some cups and be thoroughly loathed by the toffee fans. What's not to like? Go ead, Ken, gimajob!

captbusby
Benitez basks in final glory

Footer 365

League One play-off final: Uwe Rosler praises Gary Johnson's work at Yeovil

Uwe Rosler was gracious in defeat as he praised Gary Johnson after Yeovil beat Brentford in the League 1 play-off final.

League One Play-off final: Yeovil boss hails promotion to the Championship

Yeovil Town manager Gary Johnson labelled his side's promotion to the Championship a "great achievement".

Saints finish third, Celtic romp

St Johnstone claimed third spot in the SPL - and a Europa League berth - after a 2-0 win over Motherwell, while Celtic beat Dundee United 4-0.

Mail Box

James Collins Is Only 29. Tough Paper Round

He is one of a number of solid shouts for players that look old before their time. We also have the final words on lovely D-Beck and a rejection of end of season playoffs...

Without Posh, Becks Could Have Been Scholes

That's one opinion, but others give their thanks to the man. We also have ideas for a relegation playoff, happy memories of the season and a defence of Liverpool's campaign...

Site Map

Our Network

Websites

Partners

Betting & Gaming

Mobile, Fun & Games

© 2013 British Sky Broadcasting Ltd. All Rights Reserved