Just a few days after Wesley Sneijder apparently agreed terms with Tottenham over a move to north London, Gazzetta Dello Sport claim that Liverpool are close to agreeing a move for the Dutchman worth just £8.19m.
Now this sounds pretty exciting until you remember that Sneijder - frozen out of the first team at Inter Milan - earns around £200,000 a week. We suspect the Italian media are not quite au fait with Liverpool's wage policy, which would scupper even the cheapest of transfers for the Dutchman.
The Sun have got an entirely different idea - suggesting that Manchester United might be interested again but Inter Milan want £40m. That's quite a lot more than £8.19m. It's almost like nobody actually has a clue.
WHAT WOULD YOU PAY FOR BALE?
Well, according to the Sunday Mirror, you might have to count out your coppers until you get to £60m. Real Madrid have reportedly put together an opening bid of £33m but they will be told by Tottenham to practically double that offer in the summer.
A source told Sunday Mirror Sport: "Real are prepared to push very hard for Gareth and there are not too many better players in the world than him right now."
Meanwhile, the same report suggests that Spurs have joined the queue for Demba Ba, despite AVB quite clearly saying that he wasn't interested in doing any January business.
DE GEA DE GONE?
It seems Real Madrid are planning to spend an awful lot of money this summer. As well as that massive splurge on Bale, The Sun claims they will bid £22m for Manchester United keeper David De Gea.
A Real insider said: "De Gea is definitely wanted by Mourinho but a lot depends on his own future. But he's studied De Gea's form closely and is very interested."
Not that closely, clearly.
SHAWCROSS FOR CITY?
Ryan Shawcross has been close to signing a new six-year deal at Stoke for an awful long time. The Mail on Sunday seem to think this consitutes 'stalling' and that Manchester City will make a move for the one-time England international in the January window, with Joleon Lescott presumably leaving on loan.
The defensive mess that happened on Saturday against Southampton in Shawcross' absence would suggest that Stoke might need to add a few quid to his proposed package.
AND THE REST
David Beckham is in talks with Chinese Super League side Shanghai Shenhua over a £250,000-per-week deal...Demba Ba could end up staying at Newcastle after demands from his advisers for extra payments pushed his fee above £12million...Arsenal chiefs will launch an audacious move to bring Brian Marwood from Manchester City to help Arsene Wenger end his trophy drought...Harry Redknapp will make a move for Rennes striker Mevlut Erdinc as he banks on firepower to save QPR from relegation...Swansea are nearing a £3million deal for Bristol City winger Albert Adomah...Liverpool scouts are keeping tabs on French targets Nicolas Isimat-Mirin and Guillaume Hoarau...
...Chelsea will have to wait until the summer if they want to sign £25million-rated Bayer Leverkusen forward Andre Schurrle...Sunderland boss Martin O'Neill is plotting a daring raid for Manchester City and England centre-half Joleon Lescott...Fulham boss Martin Jol is weighing up a move for Blackburn keeper Paul Robinson...Wigan boss Roberto Martinez wants to take Tottenham outcast David Bentley on loan for the rest of the season...West Ham boss Sam Allardyce is ready to make a move for Blackburn defender Gael Givet...Mexican hitman Aldo de Nigris is a wanted man at Sunderand and West Brom...
...Real Madrid and Paris Saint-Germain are leading the chase to sign Chelsea left-back Ashley Cole, who is out of contract at the end of the season...Blackburn have MK Dons manager Carl Robinson high on their shortlist as a potential replacement for Henning Berg...QPR boss Harry Redknapp is bound to be busy in the January transfer market and he is desperate to make Everton defender Sylvain Distin part of his squad...Liverpool, Arsenal and Tottenham are about to go into competition to sign Schalke midfielder Lewis Holtby, who has told the German club he will not be signing a new contract...
...Newcastle midfielder Yohan Cabaye has emerged as a target for Arsenal despite him being out until February with a groin injury - they are hoping to pay much less than the £20m that was quoted last summer...Real Betis midfielder Benat, who has been drawing rave reviews in Spain this season, is a January target for Tottenham...Fulham hope to sign Wolfsburg defender Alexander Madiung to solve their problem with depth at centre-back...Aston Villa defender Richard Dunne could be on his way to the MLS with the New York Red Bulls by the end of January...Arsenal believe they can tempt Everton to sell left-back Leighton Baines for £10m...
...Arsenal have the advantage in the chase for Southampton defender Luke Shaw...Norwich will look to sign Brighton striker Craig Mackail-Smith...Liverpool are confident of unveiling Daniel Sturridge on January 2...Reading want to sign Tottenham midfielder Tom Huddlestone on loan...Manchester City's top January prize is a new central defender, with Borussia Dortmund's Mats Hummels and Neven Subotic towards the top of their shopping list...David Villa is expected to make a move to the Premier League from Barcelona in January, alerting a number of clubs that have recently been linked with the striker.