RONALDO BACK TO UNITED?
Oh boy. There's a hashtag going round on Twitter - #poundForCR7 - that really sums up the often pathetic fanboy mooning over Cristiano Ronaldo from a section of the Manchester United support. It's basically a whip-round to try and get Ronaldo back. Rumoured total is currently £4.23.
Anyway, at least they've got The Daily Star on their side, who report that United are looking to take advantage of Ronaldo's apparent unhappiness in contract negotiations with Real Madrid, and will try to bring him back to Manchester.
The paper claims: 'Ronaldo has been left fuming that the Spanish giants are refusing to negotiate a new deal and fears Real are using him as nothing more than a cash cow.
'And that has left the 28-year-old ready to quit the Bernabeu in the summer, with United the clear favourites to land his signature in a £55m deal.'
Quite where they have plucked the £55million figure we don't know, but if it keeps the good people of Twitter happy for a bit, then who are we to judge?
LEWANDOWSKI ON HIS WAY
The Daily Mirror gets very excited about some quotes from Robert Lewandowski's agent this morning.
Here's what Mr Cezary Kucharski said: "Anyone who has followed Robert's career will know that he has never played at any club for longer than two years.
"At Dortmund, he has been playing his third season.
"Anyone who can read between the lines knows what that means."
The paper takes this as a sign that Manchester United are on 'red alert', although if The Gossip Column was to put a bet on it, we'd still say he'll go to Bayern Munich.
SKRTEL ON HIS WAY?
You'll have read these quotes from Martin Skrtel from Monday.
If not, we'll give you a moment to do so.
Done? Good.
Anyway, The Daily Mail interprets them as 'paving the way for his departure from Liverpool'.
Make of it what you will.
ARSENAL HAVE COMPETITION FOR AMOREBIETA
Interesting line from our friends at Sky Sports, who report that Arsenal have some competition for Athletic Bilbao defender Fernando Amorebieta.
The Gooners were thought to be in for the defender, who is available for nowt in the summer, but Sky claim that 'the centre-half's representatives are currently in Italy talking to clubs about a possible Bosman move in the summer.'
Apparently: 'Juventus, AC Milan and Inter Milan are all thought to be chasing the 27-year-old, who has made over 250 appearances for Bilbao.'
Meanwhile, The Sun reports that Arsenal are looking at a £7.5million summer move for Eintracht Frankfurt midfielder Sebastian Rode.
AND THE REST...
Andreas Weimann has turned down a new Aston Villa deal...Edin Dzeko could quit Manchester City this summer after declaring that he will return to Germany one day...Bakary Sako will be offered an escape route away from Wolves to Germany in the summer...Swansea's club captain Gary Monk last night called on his manager Michael Laudrup not to quit...Stoke manager Tony Pulis insists striker Cameron Jerome is not available for loan.
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