When He's Down
It's a shame that Sir Alex Ferguson's assurance that Wayne Rooney won't be sold in the summer took all the headlines, because the best line from his Friday morning press conference now won't receive the attention it deserves.
On Rafa Benitez, he said:
"I'm not going to kick anyone when they're lying down. It's not my style."
The subtlety in that one is simply outstanding.
We Can Work It Out
Hats off to Clive Tyldesley, who noted as Spurs took a convincing and most likely decisive 3-0 lead over Inter in the Europa League:
"It looks like Andre Villas-Boas really has worked out this management lark in the last year."
Patronising, sure, but it wouldn't grind the gears quite so much if it wasn't said during a competition that Villas-Boas has actually won.
Divs, Part Two
If you'll allow us, Mediawatch would like to return briefly to Paul Jiggins of The Sun, who was featured in this column on Thursday.
As you may recall, he said in an interview with The Football Writers' Association: 'What kind of industry is it when a teenage div in a huge pair of headphones believes he is well within his rights to completely ignore a polite request from a professional journalist 20 years his senior just because he is fortunate enough to be able to run fast or kick a ball hard?'
Now, as many have pointed out, it's hardly a surprise that these 'teenage divs' don't want to talk to journalists, given how consistently they are misquoted and misinterpreted when they do.
Allow us to provide an example. On September 29, 2012, The Sun published the following article:
'UNHAPPY Tottenham stars held showdown talks with Andre Villas-Boas over his training and tactics...Players complained that AVB's gruelling double training sessions - sometimes staged just 24 hours before a match - left them too tired to perform in Premier League matches this season...
'But AVB is said to have been left reeling by the mutiny, which reportedly follows bust-ups with some of the club's old guard behind the scenes.'
All of this was of course at a time when Spurs were officially in turmoil, crisis or whatever other bullsh*t word was trendy that week.
Coincidentally, on the same day that story was published, Gareth Bale gave an interview to The Guardian, in which he said:
"For example, if we feel we are working too hard in training, if we say that to him, then he'll ease it off. He's still learning as well as a manager but he does all the coaching and everything himself, which is great. Every manager is different and he has his own ways of working. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of time."
A considered, intelligent and mature chat between a manager and players becomes 'UNHAPPY', 'MUTINY', 'SHOWDOWN TALKS.'
So again, it's hardly a shocker that these 'divs' choose not to provide quotes to waiting journalists, lest they be portrayed as something they are clearly not.
Oh, and the author of that piece was, of course, Paul Jiggins.
Now Mediawatch doesn't usually condone looking at The Daily Mail website. Equally, we have had our issues with Charles Sale before.
However, for one day we put those petty squabbles aside, because Mr Sale has uncovered something truly magnificent this morning.
And that something is agent Jerome Anderson, he of Venky's/Blackburn fame, performing a tantric dance at a 'Mind Body Spirit' festival in London.
"I knew my god Jerome would be there holding the space, with his strength and courage and allowing his light to shine as well," said Anderson's wife, Lisa.
"It was a moment in my life of pure and true inspiration."
Fortunately it doesn't feature a Sting/Trudie Styler 'denouement', so you're free to watch it. And, despite this being The Daily Mail site, watch it you should.
For this one day, we declare a truce. Thank you Charles. This made us very happy.
February 28: Steven Pressley responds to speculation about his future. "I'm very happy at Falkirk," he said. "I've spoken about how happy I am at this football club and what we're working towards here. So you can speculate all you like but the one thing I'll say is I'm delighted I'm here and we have a chairman that fully understands the pathway we're on and he's a very stable and reliable man."
March 8: Pressley leaves Falkirk to take over as Coventry manager.
Nothing Bizarre Here
Mediawatch favourite and Birmingham Mail correspondent Bill Howell is at it again. This time in video form.
Skip to about four minutes in on this clip for him to get the keyboard out and perform his interpretation of 'Together Forever' by Rick Astley.
'Nothing bizarre about it' says Bill.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Toon's no place for pANZHIs' - The Daily Mirror.
Non-Football Headline Of The Day
'Sex romp ends in lion horror' - The New York Daily Post.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A woman and her brother have appeared in a French court after a three-year-old child named Jihad was sent to school wearing a T-shirt with the words "I am a bomb" printed on it. The principal and teachers at the school in Sorgues, southern France, notified authorities after Boucha Bagour sent her son to classes dressed in the shirt. Le Parisien reported that the words "I am a bomb" were inscribed on the front, and the words "Jihad, born September 11" on the back.
'The expression plays on the popular French saying "Je suis la bombe", which translates roughly as "I am the best". Ms Bagour, 35, and her brother, Zeyad Bagour, 29, were summoned to appear before the court after the school and local mayor complained. Mr Bagour gave the shirt to the boy as a gift. He told the court he "had no intention to provoke or shock". Speaking to the court, Ms Bagour defended herself, saying: "For me, this is the name of my son and his date of birth" - Sky News.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Phil, Chris Kanaris and Dan Thomas. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.