ROONEY TO PSG IF ZLATAN GOES TO...ERM...
Let's just stop you right there, Daily Mirror.
Their big transfer story this morning speculates that Wayne Rooney could move to PSG if Zlatan Ibrahimovic leaves for...erm, Bayern Munich?
Bayern Munich. The one in Germany? The one managed by Pep Guardiola next season? Who famously fell out with Ibrahimovic when they were at Barcelona? And who said Guardiola treated him like 'a Fiat' when he was 'a Ferrari'?
Yeah, we can't see that one happening.
Anyway, the Mirror claims: 'Ibrahimovic is said to be disillusioned with life in France after less than one season, and could be ready to move on this summer to what would be the eighth club of his nomadic career.
'That would leave the mega-rich Qatari-owned PSG free to raid the Old Trafford club for Rooney.'
Meanwhile, The Sun claims Robert Lewandowski is 'keeping a close eye' on the Rooney situation, and fancies a move to United.
CLEAR-OUT AT CITY
These stories of summer clear-outs very rarely actually happen, but The Guardian seem relatively confident that Roberto Mancini is planning just such a thing in the summer.
The paper claims 'up to 11' players could leave, including Carlos Tevez, Samir Nasri, Edin Dzeko and Gareth Barry, as well as Kolo Toure, Roque Santa Cruz and Wayne Bridge, who are all out of contract.
Add Joleon Lescott, Maicon, Scott Sinclair and John Guidetti, and you've got yourself a clear-out.
LAUDRUP ON WILLIAMS
Here's the handsome Michael Laudrup (it's his full name) on the possibility of Ashley Williams moving to Arsenal.
"When there are rumours about these clubs wanting someone from here, it is because the player has done well," he's quoted as saying in The Mirror.
"What can I do? I can't call Arsenal and say, 'Is it true?' I don't think Arsene Wenger would answer.
"We will have to live with these stories - it's part of the game - but it means people have seen what we have done here.
"Ashley has had a great season.
"He and Chico [Flores, his fellow centre-half] have been a great pair. They are doing great together and I will be unhappy to lose that pairing for next season."
READING PLAYERS DON'T WANT DI CANIO
Quick, if unsurprising line in The Daily Mail, who claim that Reading's players don't want Paolo di Canio to be their next manager.
Apparently: 'They fear the fiery Italian's combative nature could have an adverse effect on the squad going into the crucial run-in. A clutch of players also feel Di Canio does not have sufficient experience - particularly given he has not managed in the Premier League - to guide them to safety.'
Roberto di Matteo and Gus Poyet are also on their list.
AND THE REST...
Bradford manager Phil Parkinson is a contender to be Reading's new boss...
Manchester United fall guy Nani aims to show Sir Alex Ferguson he deserves to stay at the club...Liverpool have stepped up their pursuit of Paris Saint-Germain striker Kevin Gameiro...Manchester City are continuing to scout Sevilla midfielder Geoffrey Kondogbia...Hamburg sporting director Frank Arnesen says Arsenal striker Nicklas Bendtner needs to join a smaller club...West Brom boss Steve Clarke has targeted Chelsea defender Tomas Kalas after watching him in action at the weekend.
@dwh Liverpool and Arsenal have been guilty of the ol'spunkaroo the last few seasons.- wozza