'David Villa is definitely coming to the Premier League this summer, and Arsenal, Tottenham and Liverpool are all in for the Barcelona striker. Spain international Villa has told his advisers he wants a move to England and has now been given the green light by Barca to negotiate a deal' - The Daily Mirror, June 1.
'Gareth Bale returns to Tottenham for pre-season training today (Monday) - and David Villa could follow as early as this week. The Barcelona striker has reached an agreement in principle with Spurs and it is now down to the two clubs to agree a fee' - The Daily Mirror, July 8.
'Spurs target David Villa set to join Atletico Madrid after Barcelona agree £4.4m deal. Arsenal and Liverpool had also reportedly been tracking the Spanish leading goalscorer who will now stay in Spain' - The Daily Mirror, slightly later on July 8.
Permission To Launch
You'll probably have seen that Spurs launched their new kit on Monday. We rather like it. There to launch said kit was Jermain Defoe, Michael Dawson, Brad Friedel and, of course, Gareth Bale.
With tedious inevitability, this has been latched onto by several of our wonderful newspapers as proof that Bale would be staying at White Hart Lane.
The Daily Express calls it 'Shirt shrift to Bale's suitors', reporting that his appearance at the promotional event was a 'hands-off warning to Real Madrid'.
For reasons that aren't exactly clear, they treat Bale prancing around in some new polyester as their A1 proof that he won't be signing for Real Madrid, rather than the quotes in the third paragraph of their story from Real Madrid president Florentino Perez, in which he says Bale won't be signing for Real Madrid.
The Sun are almost as bad, claiming on their back page that Bale's appearance 'signalled the club are winning their fight to keep the Welsh star.' Presumably, if the participants in these low-level fashion shows carry huge significance in terms of team selection and transfer policy, Friedel will be Andre Villas-Boas's first-choice keeper next season, right? But Hugo Lloris appears in the promotional posters for the new kit - WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE!
This is of course forgetting one thing Mediawatch has mentioned before, specifically that last summer the Arsenal kit launch featured Robin van Persie.
In any case, all the papers have missed the big news line - Spurs will once again wear navy blue shorts. Sometimes Mediawatch wonders why we haven't been snapped up by one of these crack news organisations.
'Rarely bother with MOTD2. The day they had Colin Murray and Robbie Savage analysing games was the day football on BBCTV died' - SHOUTsport's Adrian Durham, January 21.
'Colin Murray is made for radio. Gonna bring some real energy to the 10am-1pm slot on talkSPORT. Signing of the summer' - SHOUTsport's Adrian Durham, July 8.
Luis Suarez sells newspapers. He generates hits on websites. He creates discussion. We know this as much as anyone.
This was something The Daily Express presumably had in mind with their 'Bookmakers slash odds on Luis Suarez leaving Liverpool this transfer window' headline that appeared on their website on Monday afternoon.
Further down the page, they reported: 'Bookmakers Sky Bet have slashed his odds from 4/11 to 1/3 as a result of the latest development.'
For those unfamiliar with how odds work, 1/3 is basically 4/12 expressed in a shorter/more sensible form. So Suarez's odds have basically been SLASHED from 4/11 to 4/12.
Strong work from The Daily Mail, reporting on a meeting between Liverpool and Luis Suarez's agent.
'Liverpool have held further talks with Luis Suarez's agent...Pere Guardiola spoke with Brendan Rodgers and managing director Ian Ayre...'
So far, so normal.
'Bayern Munich coach Guardiola arrived at Liverpool's Melwood training complex yesterday...'
Either The Mail f*cked up, or they've got a hell of a scoop here.
Do The Right Thing
Alan Pardew does things the right way. He's a stand-up guy. He doesn't like it when other managers talk about his players.
When asked by The Chronicle about Laurent Blanc expressing his admiration for Yohan Cabaye ("He offers a lot of options in different positions...He's an interesting player") Pardew said:
"I don't think that's right. He can get on the phone to me or make a bid. I think that's the right way to do it.
"I think the way it's come out isn't perhaps respectful to Yohan. That's something I want to talk to him about."
Pardew was then asked about Newcastle's potential targets, namely Darren Bent and Loic Remy.
"Both of those players are on our list," he said. "I make no bones about that."
Doing things the right way indeed.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'It's G-Weight To Be Back' - The Sun opt for this stinker next to a photo of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain pumping iron.
Non-Football Headline Of The Day
'Tulsa Man Found Inside Septic Tank Arrested For Peeping Tom' - News9.com.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'Police were called to a suspected domestic violence incident which turned out to be nothing more than the screams of a woman smelling a fart. The Huffington Post reports that support was dispatched to a house in Clawson, Michigan after a neighbour heard the screams, with a loud noise between the woman's outbursts.
'Police Chief Harry Anderson told CBS Detroit: "One of the neighbours had heard somebody yelling - a female yelling. She was possibly being hit - yelling 'Stop! No!'" When the police knocked, the woman answered the door and admitted she'd been shouting, but said it was because "her boyfriend had continued to pass gas, and she was yelling at him to stop," Anderson said' - Orange.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Keith Donohoe and Mark Armstrong. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.