David Moyes, July 10: "I will say he is training great. They are telling me it is the best shape they have seen him in for a long time. From that point of view I am taking it as a positive and I am going to try and get the best Wayne Rooney I possibly can."
July 11: Rooney is ruled out for a month with a torn hamstring.
It seems Roy Hodgson's quarrel with the Premier League is set to rumble on with The Daily Mail reporting that the England manager's 'worst fears were confirmed' when the first round of live fixtures were announced on Thursday.
'Two of the biggest games of the season were moved for television and will take place only five days before England's first World Cup qualifiers of the season,' writes Matt Barlow in Friday's paper.
'Manchester United's trip to Liverpool and the North London derby between Arsenal and Spurs will be screened live on Sunday, September 1 ahead of an England international double-header, which includes a trip to Ukraine.'
Firstly, Spurs' clash against Arsenal was not 'moved for television', as Barlow claims, but has to be held on Sunday, September 1 because Andre Villas-Boas' side are in action in the Europa League on the Thursday. And to say that the live matches will take place only five days before England's first World Cup qualifier is a bit like saying Fernandinho only cost Manchester City £30million or that Mediawatch only soiled itself once in the last six months.
It's also interesting that Barlow performs the simple journalist's trick of withholding a key piece of information that he knows would undermine the strength of his argument.
He writes that the matches on September 1 precede an England double-header 'which includes a trip to Ukraine', conveniently omitting the fact that the fixture scheduled only five days after the live Premier League matches is a home clash against Moldova. The same Moldova who have won only one of seven Group H games so far - a 2-0 success over San Marino.
Barlow continues the scare-mongering by adding that 'six clubs are involved in live Barclays Premier League games on Sunday, November 10 - Tottenham v Newcastle, Sunderland v Manchester City and Manchester United v Arsenal - which will impact on England if they are in the play-offs on Friday, November 15 and Tuesday, November 19.'
In other words, those fixtures haven't yet become an issue. Were the Premier League and Sky really supposed to make arrangements to compensate for the possibility of England facing a play-off, four months and four qualifying matches before the date?
Mediawatch looks forward to hearing Roy Hodgson's thoughts on the live matches, but if he is panicking about Premier League fixtures five days before a home match against Moldova, then England are in a worse state than we feared.
Like Rain On Your Wedding Day
The Sun's Neil Custis channels Alanis Morissette on Friday in his story on Wayne Rooney's return from Manchester United's training camp in Bangkok.
Towards the end of his article, Custis writes: 'Despite new Old Trafford boss David Moyes declaring Rooney is not for sale, the player himself still has not pledged his future to United.
'Arsenal, Chelsea, Real Madrid and Paris Saint Germain are all monitoring the situation. And, ironically, Chelsea are due to arrive in Bangkok today.'
Who would've thought, it figures?
Owen Me, Owen You
Mediawatch is terribly excited by Michael Owen sharing his expert knowledge on BT Sport next season, but it seems Owen Hargreaves could be similarly enlightening if his thoughts on the network's full-page advert in The Daily Mail are anything to go by.
Hargreaves picks five players to watch with a line to explain why each was selected.
Next to new Liverpool keeper Simon Mignolet, the former Manchester United midfielder says: 'Goalkeepers are crucial, and I'm sure he will prove to be a reliable keeper for years to come.'
Knowledge truly is the bomb.
But Hargreaves doesn't end there. Alongside a pic of Andy Carroll, he muses: 'Goals are the most important thing, especially for teams in that second half of the table.'
Does he mean that second half of the table from which tenth-place West Ham were absent last season?
Consider Mediawatch's appetite to be thoroughly whetted.
If Mediawatch had a pound for every time Gareth Bale has featured on the back page of The Daily Star this summer, it would finally be able to afford the back wax it so desperately needs.
Friday's headline farts 'We WILL bag Bale say Real' above a story which includes shameless quotes from a 'source close to Real president Florentino Perez'. The same Florentino Perez who said on Monday: "He is a great player who belongs to a club we enjoy good relations with, but we have not made any offer."
According to the Star's 'insider': "(Real) will try to sign Bale until the day the summer market closes. He is our top long-term priority. If we can sign players like Zidane, Beckham and Ronaldo, we can sign Bale."
At what point does this stop being journalism? Mediawatch is tempted to write 'BALE WILL JOIN MADRID, SAYS MYSTERY MAN' on a sheet of paper, photocopy it a thousand times and see how much money we can raise by selling each copy for 10p.
Turkey Calling For Christmas Quote Of The Day
"I'm a forward but I can't be the only forward at a club. Over the years, the clubs who have won titles have had several strikers. If you want to do well it's important to have competition. It will definitely help us to bring more goals into the team" - Jermain Defoe urges Spurs to sign more strikers this summer.
Worst Headlines Of The Day
'Roo The Day' - The Daily Mirror.
'Paul Has A Ba Tab' - The Daily Star stink the place out with a story on Paul Lambert's interest in Demba Ba.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'In the air wars between bats and moths, the bugs are fighting back - by shaking their privates.
'It's no award-winning dance move, but a new study shows that hawkmoths in Borneo jiggle their junk to produce ultrasound. That jams Malaysian bats' built-in sonar, rendering the hawkmoths temporarily "invisible."
'"We had some suspicion that they might be making sounds with their genitals, based on some enlarged scales that we found on the outside of the claspers [a part of the genitalia] in museum specimens," noted Akito Kawahara, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Florida.
'Indeed, the moths were actually rapidly rubbing their genitals to create ultrasound - and further investigation showed that both males and females used this behavior.
'The scientists believe that the hawkmoths use these ultrasonic responses as a form of self-defense. "We suspect that these sounds are used to jam bat echolocation and startle or warn bats," Kawahara said.' - nationalgeographic.com
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotter Gareth Lennox. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.