ZLATAN TO CITY?
Your Gossip Columnist is not religious. We do not pray to an almighty when we want something to happen. We do not place faith in a spiritual being.
However, if there is anyone up there, and he or she can bring Zlatan Ibrahimovic to the Premier League, we kneel down and worship at his or her altar if that would help to make it happen.
The Daily Mirror picks up on a line reported in L'Equipe from Friday that Zlatan has already fallen out with Laurent Blanc, which is pretty impressive given Blanc's only been in place for a couple of weeks.
Zlatan is apparently not happy about PSG's chase for Edinson Cavani, going on the theory that there's only room for one big daddy in Paris.
The paper claims Zlatan's first choice was Real Madrid, but: 'Ibrahimovic believed he would be available for 'just' £17m and was prepared to take a pay-cut - to 'a mere' £250,000 per week - to grease the wheels on a move to the Bernabeu.
'But new Real boss Carlo Ancelotti spiked the move by informing Raiola that he made a "no poaching" agreement with his former club when he left PSG last month.
'That has opened the door for talks with deposed Premier League champions City - who face a renewed fight from Juventus for £28m Fiorentina forward Stevan Jovetic, but do remain favourites to land the Montenegrin star.'
THE THIAGO ALTERNATIVE
So, it looks like The Chosen One is lost, and Thiago Alcantara will not be signing for Manchester United.
Who next then? The Daily Express has a theory, and it goes by the name of Antonio Candreva, the Lazio midfielder.
The paper claims: 'Napoli are set to rival United for Candreva, 26, while City and Spurs have also been linked with the attacking midfielder.
'Moyes could also be tempted to persuade former Tottenham favourite Luka Modric to leave Real Madrid, but the Croatian may wish to stay at the club following Carlo Ancelotti's arrival.
'United's chances of signing Modric are less likely than bringing in Candreva, who has 11 caps for the Italian national side.'
ARSENAL IN FOR KRUL
Interesting one from The Daily Star, that has been floating around for a little while now, but as far as we know nobody has gone quite as big before.
The Star claims Arsenal could make a move for Tim Krul after a deal for Julio Cesar disappeared down the toilet.
The paper reports: 'According to reports in Holland, Arsenal will look at testing Newcastle's resolve by offering £6m for the 25-year-old.
'Krul will provide massive competition with Polish duo Wojciech Szczesny and Lukasz Fabianski for the no.1 shirt.'
BARTON BACK TO L'OM
It seems Joey Barton will get his wish and return to Marseille.
The Times claims a deal is done with the player, and now all that needs to happen is for QPR and the French club to sort something.
The paper says: 'Élie Baup, the Marseilles coach, said that the French club were working on a deal with the West Londoners to sign the midfielder, who was on loan in France last season. "There is an agreement between the club and himself but he belongs to Queens Park Rangers," Baup said last night.'
AND THE REST...
Norwich are lining up a shock £6million move for Juventus striker Fabio Quagliarella...Joe Kinnear wants to get Darren Bent signed when he returns to work at Newcastle on Monday...Cardiff boss Malky Mackay is trying to beat off interest from Tottenham to sign Benfica striker Nelson Oliveira on a season-long loan...Tottenham will lodge a £20million bid for Aston Villa's Christian Benteke next week...Nicklas Bendtner is being lined up for a move to Premier League new-boys Hull and a reunion with Tigers boss Steve Bruce...Paolo Di Canio wants £4million defender Bastian Oczipka to join his foreign revolution at Sunderland...New dad Tom Ince has snubbed a move to Cardiff following the birth of his first child...Doncaster are closing in on a loan swoop for Aston Villa goalkeeper Shay Given...Wigan have agreed a fee to sign Bristol City winger Albert Adomah.