Jose Mourinho is a man of principles. Not for him the unsettling bid for a big-name player on the eve of a big match. Learn, Mr Wenger, learn.
This modern-day Abraham Lincoln was asked about moving again for Wayne Rooney ahead of Monday's clash and he said: "I don't want Chelsea to do it before we go there. Everybody in the club, in the board, they agree with me. They share that opinion. I think this period, by the ethical point of view, is a period where we're going to be quiet."
Bravo, Mr Mourinho, bravo. It is indeed incredibly ethical to bid twice for a player and then make it publicly clear that you will bid for a third time just after you are scheduled to face him. That won't unsettle him at all. Oh no.
Excuse Mediawatch while we reassure our soon-to-be-married friend that we won't try it on with his missus until just after the wedding. It's only ethical.
Spot The Difference: A Slight Return
Back on August 2 we declared a new low for the Daily Mail website for approximately the 427th time as their top football story - yes, top football story - was headlined 'The two Ronnies! Here's why Real are so keen to snap up Bale...These pictures show Welsh wizard turning into the new Ronaldo'. This headline 'story' consisted of a series of photographs which showed both players in various vaguely similar poses. It turned out they both sometimes drink water and occasionally raise their hands, though quite often for different reasons.
Well, somebody at the Daily Mail website clearly remembers August 2 as the halcyon days of their football coverage. Hence on August 22: 'Aviator glasses? Check. Baseball cap backwards? Check. Madrid star? To be continued: How Bale has morphed into Real's Ronaldo ahead of dream £85m move.'
First rule of journalism: If an idea is this good, don't be afraid to do it again.
Alan Pardew on Steven Taylor after his red card v Manchester City: "We all know Tayls is an honest, honourable lad. That was out of character for him. He has apologised and quite rightly so."
Honest and honourable? Mediawatch will leave you with this.
Mediawatch remarked yesterday that The Sun must have a really early copy deadline to run 'I love Liverpool, me' quotes from Daniel Agger on Wednesday morning that were denied by his agent at around 3pm on Tuesday. Judging by Thursday's Daily Express (the self-styled 'world's greatest newspaper'), their copy deadline is roughly 48 hours before publication.
The English football media is incredibly insular so Mediawatch was unsurprised to see this passage in The Sun's report on Arsenal's impressive demolition of Fenerbahce: 'There were some familiar faces in the opposition, who wanted to show English TV viewers they could still play a bit. Dutchman Dirk Kuyt was a popular player for Liverpool while Raul Meireles had a season at Anfield and one at Chelsea before moving to Istanbul. Joseph Yobo spent years in the Everton shirt as a no-nonsense centre-back, and Emre was an in-your-face midfielder at Newcastle.'
Yes, we expect that those four international footballers went into a Champions League qualifier with 'showing English TV viewers they could still play a bit' their primary motivation. If that was the case, they sure f***ed it up.
John Cross of the Daily Mirror is an Arsenal fan. He is equally as upset as any other Arsenal fan that Arsene Wenger is yet to buy a striker this summer. Which is presumably why he began his match report of Arsenal's visit to Fenerbahce thus: 'THIS game showed why Arsenal have spent the whole summer trying to buy a striker.'
Arsenal won 3-0.
And presumably his Arsenal supporter angst also explains why he wrote of their current first-choice striker: 'Giroud was the world culprit as he, in particular, looked slow and ponderous while his finishing looks anything but top class. You even began to worry whether he was going to convert the 77th-minute penalty...'
Goals scored by Giroud in pre-season: Eight.
Goals now scored by Giroud in two competitive games: Two.
Substitute the word 'you' for the word 'I', John. And then just try and crack a little smile.
Pages in The Sun dedicated to the death of over 1000 Syrians in an unprovoked gas attack: One (p17, in case you were wondering).
Pages in The Sun dedicated to pictures of 20 Premier League managers mocked up as women who could manage EN-GIRL-AND: One and a half.
Questionable media priorities aside, Mediawatch would defintely give Andrea Villas-Boas one. Even with the beard.
Not Quite On The Same Page
The Daily Mail, p85: 'LIVERPOOL have rejected a fresh enquiry from Napoli for defender Martin Skrtel. Sportsmail understands an offer was dismissed by the Anfield club who maintain Skrtel is not for sale.'
The Daily Mail, p86: Skrtel features in a Daily Mail 'Unwanted XI'.
Hunting High And Low
July 10: Swansea chairman Huw Jenkins admits that Huddersfield Town defender Jack Hunt is a target.
August 22: The Daily Mirror's Alan Nixon 'exclusively' reveals that Huddersfield Town defender Jack Hunt is a Swansea target.
Jon Walters on missing a penalty for the fifth time in 13 attempts for Stoke: "It is hard when you miss, but I was big enough to take it. And if I'm big enough to take the plaudits when I score, I've got to be big enough to take it if I don't."
He does know that penalty success is not directly related to size, right? Jon Walters: Big enough but possibly not smart enough.
Headline Of The Day
'Up 'n Hatem' - The Sun on the ambition of Ben Arfa.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Bran Grain Of Fortune - The Daily Star.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A dad dialled 999 because he wanted a lift in the rain - and police obliged when he threatened to complain. Officers picked up the man and his children from a flyover and took them to a bus stop. He is reported to have said he would call the Police and Crime Commissioner if they refused. Details of the incident in Shoreham, West Sussex, emerged after a policeman posted it on Facebook' - The Daily Mirror.
Thanks to our Mediawatch spotter Steve Maybury. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.