On Thursday, The Sun mocked up pictures of all 20 Premier League managers as women (England need a new manager for the women's team, you see), and on Friday they present Arsene Wenger as Lady Gaga (frightening but f***able) to accompany Chief Grumpypants Steven Howard's column about Arsenal's transfer business. It is of course an entirely appropriate way to treat one of the Premier League's most successful managers. Entirely appropriate.
Howard has a point about the arse Wenger has made of this transfer window - as do the 427 other bloggers and columnists who have made exactly the same point - but he rather predictably lets himself down with some absolute codswallop.
His needless '(remember him?)' after the name of Nacho Monreal is particularly ridiculous, considering the Spaniard came off the bench on Tuesday night against Fenerbahce after recovering from a back injury that kept him out of pre-season.
But sit down with expectant arms crossed for Howard's finest sentence...
'They also require a natural striker, like Tottenham's Jermain Defoe.'
We'll give you a second to absorb that preposterous idea before presenting these statistics from last season:
Jermain Defoe scored 11 Premier League goals from 108 shots.
Olivier Giroud scored 11 Premier League goals from 107 shots.
But only one of them is 'a natural striker' and, oddly, it's the Englishman who has close links with Sun columnists Ian Wright and Harry Redknapp.
The Chairman's Done A Deal
Talking of Mr Redknapp, he has been on shoutSPORT talking all things Tottenham. For a man who claimed throughout his tenure as Spurs manager that 'the chairman' was the only man who knew anything about transfers (unless they turned out to be successful), he suddenly knows rather a lot.
"That's a certainty to happen," he said of Gareth Bale's protracted move to Real Madrid. "Now they've spent all that money there's no way they'll pull the plug on that deal. And the boy wants to go. We all know that for a fact."
After revealing this 'fact', Redknapp went on to discuss Tottenham's title prospects: "I wouldn't compare the two squads [Spurs and Arsenal now]. Tottenham are much stronger, no doubt. There's no reason they can't challenge to win the league. They can be bang there. They'll finish top four and who knows where they could finish after that?"
And of course Redknapp - sacked by Daniel Levy to make room for Andre Villas-Boas - has absolutely no ulterior motive for putting undue pressure on the Portuguese manager. Oh no.
Enjoy The Silence
Brendan Rodgers, August 15: "I won't be speaking any more on Luis. I want to concentrate on the players who are available."
Brendan Rodgers, August 22: "It's very difficult at this time [for a Suarez bid to succeed]. We are trying to get one or two more quality players in through the door. If we lose Luis at this stage, it would be difficult to replace him. There might have been a point a few months ago when there was time to do it, but not with only 11 days to go."
That's some vow of silence.
We suspect they're winding us up now.
On August 2, the Daily Mail website ran a 'story' about how Gareth Bale and Ronaldo look kind of almost alike headlined 'The two Ronnies! Here's why Real are so keen to snap up Bale...These pictures show Welsh wizard turning into the new Ronaldo'.
Yesterday, the Daily Mail website ran a 'story' about how Gareth Bale and Ronaldo look kind of almost alike headlined 'Aviator glasses? Check. Baseball cap backwards? Check. Madrid star? To be continued: How Bale has morphed into Real's Ronaldo ahead of dream £85m move'.
Today it's made it to the actual sodding newspaper. It's 'DOUBLE VISION', apparently. They dedicate a whole page to pictures of the almost-indistinguishable pair shouting, kicking the ball, celebrating with arms outstretched and, well, standing. They look almost vaguely alike.
'They are mirror images of each other,' writes Shane McGarvey as Mediawatch weeps.
Jeff Powell is aghast that Gareth Bale could cost £100m. He's not the only one. But Jeff Powell is mostly aghast because Gareth Bale is from the modern world and the past was loads, loads better.
Powell has taken it upon himself to put together a fantasy XI of his favourite players valued at today's prices. Or, alternatively, an XI of his favourite players valued at fantasy prices.
He writes on the Daily Mail website: 'By the inflated valuation applied to Bale, what is Messi worth now? And what would Pele or Maradona cost today? Or Best and Beckenbauer.'
The answer, according to Powell, is that Pele would be valued at £300m, Maradona at £300m, Best at £250m and Beckenbauer at £200m. Also valued at £200m is Powell's old friend Bobby Moore, while Gordon Banks would be worth a cool £125m.
So, that makes Pele almost four times better than Ronaldo, Beckenbauer and Moore both more than six times better than Thiago Silva, and Banks (only the best goalkeeper ever in the mind of Mr Powell) around seven times better than David De Gea.
It must be oddly comforting to have lost all grasp on reality.
Powell is of course the only man in the media who thinks Arsene Wenger is doing exactly the right thing in this transfer window. If we were Wenger, this would be exactly the point when we would start to question our own judgement.
'Why can't he do what almost all the other Premier League bosses are doing and squander fortunes on unexceptional foreigners to look good in the eyes of panicking punters - or just for the hell of it?' asks Powell.
This - in case you need reminding - is the man who had never heard of Jesus Navas. And then promptly held him up as an example of 'good old-fashioned wing play' when he finally saw him play. There's half a chance he could be wrong about those other 'unexceptional foreigners' too. Buy one, Arsene.
Slight Difference Of Opinion
'ROMAN ABRAMOVICH has personally launched a stunning bid to derail Tottenham's plans for replacing Gareth Bale' - The Daily Mirror.
'CHELSEA boss Jose Mourinho last night hijacked Tottenham's proposed £30million deal for Brazil winger Willian' - The Daily Mail.
Inexplicable Sentence Of The Week
'Mata, 25, could be an intriguing name to throw in the mix. There is a feeling Mourinho does not fancy the Spanish international.' - The Sun.
Worst Headlines Of The Day
'DANNY SWELLBECK' - The Sun.
'Sagna happy to be a centre BAC' - The Daily Mirror.
No non-football story of the day worthy of the name today. Matt Stanger did offer to cut off his penis but the offer was sadly declined on the grounds of 'mess'.
Thanks to our Mediawatch spotter Adam Bate. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.