BALE AT LEFT-BACK?
Let's start with something that isn't transfer talk, but is in the morning papers, thus qualifies as gossip. Look, we don't make the rules, we just follow them. OK, in this instance we are making the rules, but it's our website and you can just lump it.
The Daily Mirror reports that Gareth Bale could make his Real Madrid debut this weekend - at left-back.
The Spanish giants travel to Villarreal for their first game after securing Bale's signature, and have something of a problem in defence.
They have injuries to both Marcelo and Fabio Coentrao, and while Real do have other options at left-back including Alvaro Arbeloa and youngster Nacho, Bale might be chucked into the game in his old position.
Bale said: "I'm just looking forward to getting on the pitch and wherever the manager puts me I'll be giving 100 per cent.
"We have to wait until the match day to see whether I'm picked or not but hopefully I can get my fitness up straight away and get a place in the team.
"I feel good, I've been training last week with Wales I've had two good sessions today.
"I got half an hour to 40 minutes game time with Wales and I'm feeling good but obviously I'm a bit behind physically than everybody else but hopefully I can catch up as soon as possible.
"I went straight away on international duty which probably wasn't the best but I've been back for the last two days now."
MONACO AFTER LLORIS
See, the problem with bullies is they take all our nice things, even if they don't really need or want them.
Monaco are the new bullies of the football world, barging in places and throwing money at people, and the latest person they want to chuck some dough at is Spurs - specifically for Hugo Lloris.
The Daily Express, citing 'reports in France', claim that Monaco want another goalkeeper, and while Marseille's Steve Mandanda is their chief target, Lloris is next down on the list.
The paper claims: 'If Marseille continue to hold out, despite reported assurances to Mandanda that he will be allowed to leave once the current campaign comes to an end, Monaco will turn their attentions to Lloris.'
DORTMUND CHASING CASILLAS?
More keeper news now, and Iker Casillas seems to be linked with a new club every day.
This day it's Borussia Dortmund, with The Daily Mirror claiming the German side could make a move for the out-of-favour Madrid man.
Arsenal and Manchester City are both said to be keen, and while Zinedine Zidane hopes to persuade Casillas to stick around at Real, he could be tempted to go, for understandable reasons.
The Mirror claims: 'Spain's most capped player lost his place in the Real team to Diego Lopez last season after falling out with then-boss Jose Mourinho and still finds himself on the bench under new coach Carlo Ancelotti.
'Casillas's place in the Spanish team may also be under threat ahead of next summer's World Cup in Brazil, with Pepe Reina, David De Gea and Victor Valdes all rivalling the Madrid gloveman for the starting slot.'
HULL STILL WANT LONG
Steve Bruce is still pretty keen on Shane Long, it seems.
A move for the Ireland striker fell through in the final minutes of the transfer window, after West Brom pulled out of the deal, despite agreeing a fee and Long being flown from international duty to have a medical with Hull.
Bruce is quoted in The Daily Mail as saying: "I am a big admirer of the boy and I saw how disappointed he was but that's football. You never know what will happen but if he became available of course I would be interested.
"Obviously we were bitterly disappointed we didn't get Shane Long which would have the icing on the cake but we thought it was really really close.
"He left the headquarters of the Irish and was not on a plane until half six and then I picked him up at Leeds Bradford at half eight and he was having a medical at nine.
"It was always West Brom's as prerogative he is their player but Shane was as disappointed as anyone. He was left high and dry but that happens in football.
"We must have been there or thereabouts otherwise why let him go on a plane? And we got to level where they wanted to be and what they wanted to have but it is their prerogative but they changed their mind.
"At the end of the day we were that close or why let him on plane and have a medical?"
AND THE REST...
Juventus are poised to offer former Manchester United midfielder Paul Pogba a new deal after summer interest from Arsenal...Wolves are set to offload £7m defender Roger Johnson to Sheffield Wednesday on a three-month loan deal...Bolton are set to swoop for West Brom and England U21 striker Saido Berahino...Derby boss Nigel Clough wants to sign forward Stephen Hunt after his move to Blackpool fell through...Hull City will open talks with Sone Aluko next week about extending his contract with the Tigers.
That's gotta hurt. I couldn't see them ever putting Ronaldo in defence. Wonder if they've sent him for a long stand or the Tartan paint yet.- lankymanc