If we were Paolo Di Canio, and there had been, shall we say, 'questions' about our ideological leanings, we might be quite careful about what we said in public.
Instead, he said: "My relationship with my players is closer than you think. It means that I can point the finger straight away and say, 'For your level, it is rubbish'.
"You think the new generation is weak? I say if they are weak they cannot play football at this level. It is natural selection."
So what you're saying is you get rid of the weakest to create a strong - or perhaps 'pure' - group of people?
Steady on, Paolo.
Strange work from The Sun's chief grumpypants Steven Howard this morning.
The majority of his column is given over to reproducing a long list of the injuries Arsenal have suffered over the years and are currently suffering from - as if he's only just noticed that Arsene Wenger's side have form in this area - then says they'll be hoping Mesut Ozil doesn't get injured. As opposed to all those other teams that hope their record signing gets injured, of course.
Howard also writes about an injury 'hoodoo' possibly hanging over Arsenal, the thought apparently not occurring to him that a team which seemingly has more injuries than other teams might be doing something different/wrong to make this happen. No, it'll be a hoodoo.
And in a sidebar piece, Howard writes about the Gary Lineker/Roy Hodgson tiff, calling Hodgson's surprise that Lineker was critical of the England side 'attempted censorship'. Presumably an FA committee for un-English activities will be formed, post-haste. But who will be football's Elia Kazan, ratting out the reds? Step forward, Steven.
This Sh*t Again
Writes Darren Lewis in The Daily Mirror:
'Villas-Boas insisted Kyle Walker IS in the right frame of mind to play against Norwich tomorrow after the controversy surrounding the nitrous oxide balloon.'
He's played for England since then. Not very well, admittedly, but that's largely because he's not very good at defending, rather than his eye being off the ball/he's off his tits on laughing gas.
On that subject, Robbie Savage comments on Walker in The Daily Mirror:
'Kyle Walker was naïve, and plain wrong, to inhale nitrous oxide 'laughing gas' from a balloon at a party.
'He has apologised for his mistake, the Football Association are not taking any action against him, and that should be the end of the matter.
'But the timing of the photograph - which caught Walker in the act - being leaked left a lot to be desired.
'It was clearly designed to unsettle him as England prepared for a vital World Cup qualifier in Ukraine, and it clearly affected Walker's performance on the night, which was poor.'
Of course, it would be slightly easier to take Savage's words seriously, if one ever does take Savage's words seriously, if the photograph in question wasn't 'leaked' in his employers' sister paper The Sunday Mirror.
There's been a lot of Important Reporting from Madrid this week, as various journalists get on the jolly horse to go and watch Gareth Bale turn up for work.
One can't blame them for taking the free trip to Spain, and neither can one particularly blame them for turning in rather bland/uneventful copy, for this is a bland and uneventful story.
However, among the sea of bland, we did particularly enjoy this line from Pete Jenson in The Daily Mail:
'Bale is training at the same tempo as the rest of his team-mates and looked trim yesterday alongside Karim Benzema and Marcelo in the kit presentation.'
Exactly what did he expect? Bale's still a professional athlete. He played football three days ago. Was Jenson anticipating Bale to be carrying a spare tyre round his waist? Perhaps some extra chunk on the bingo wings? Maybe some surprising baby weight?
If there's a competition for the 'most Daily Mail sentence ever written', then end it now, tap the glass and announce the winner.
In a piece explaining how wonderful George Best was and we'll never see his like again and glossing over/not mentioning that pesky domestic violence business, the following passage appears:
'When the beautiful people die young, like Princess Diana, they live fresh in our memory. Still full of youth and hope. Never looking old.'
Ideally could've done with something about the Muslamics, but you can't have everything.
The piece was, of course, written by Jeff Powell.
Look, Arsenal fans, we know you're excited, but this sh*t really needs to stop as soon as possible.
You're embarrassing yourselves.
'You Sure About That?' Quote Of The Day
"I don't know if a threat from a teenage girl is much of a threat" - Paul Lambert on threats directed at Gabby Agbonlahor. He clearly isn't familiar with One Direction fans.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Ozsenal must end 8 years of hurt' - The Daily Mirror. Actually, if this is the alternative, bring back the simple ö.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'One pizzeria in America has caused controversy after offering free pizza to all women who showed their breasts. Drew's Pizza offered free meals to any woman who bared her chest to employees of the branch. The restaurant is in Champagne, not far from the University of Illinois, and is a popular haunt of students after a night out. Apparently, the idea came about after drunk female students tried to get free snacks.
'Employee Brice Hartman said: "Somebody comes in says, 'Hey I'm drunk, if I flash you, can I get a free pizza?' Yeah sure, why not? It makes everybody here happy. It makes the crowd happy." It seems Drew's Pizza went a step too far, however, when they took to Twitter to promote their unusual offer. They tweeted: "We've seen some great pairs tonight," followed up with "WE WANT MORE T**S!" After public outcry, Drew's have since taken down their Twitter and Facebook pages' - The Daily Mirror.
Many thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters...erm...nobody. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.