REAL TO OFFER BENZEMA FOR SUAREZ
Alright Daily Star, we'll play your game.
We'll assume that your story this morning claiming Real Madrid will offer Liverpool £20million plus Karim Benzema for Luis Suarez is correct.
We'll take that at face value. We'll agree that your sources are rock solid on this one. We're in.
However, we must ask you about this passage, about Benzema: 'Madrid have offered him to a number of clubs, though, and convincing Benzema to join Liverpool could be a potential stumbling block.'
'Potential stumbling block.'
Well...you could say that.
It's the clarifications and corrections section of the Gossip Column now.
It's not as good as this one about Lou Reed, but here's Daniel Agger, via his Twitter feed, clarifying comments made to a Danish paper in which he said he might leave Liverpool if he wasn't really playing much.
He said: 'Please stop all the tweets about me leaving! I'm not going anywhere! Will be back in the team soon :) Y.N.W.A'
Of course, that could be interpreted as not changing much, since he only said he'd leave if he wasn't playing, and there he said he'd be playing soon, so...
BALOTELLI TO CHELSEA?
This one has been knocking around for a couple of days, but The Daily Express reports that Chelsea could make a move for Mario Balotelli.
His agent, the ubiquitous Mino Raiola, told an Italian TV show: "Balotelli and Jose Mourinho could be reunited because they know each other and they didn't leave each other with hate. There was a not very nice incident between them, but they parted company on good terms.
"They have remained in contact and there is mutual respect. I know Milan Vice-President Adriano Galliani will not agree, but Mario is a great striker. That is for certain and he could perhaps be that at Chelsea."
Lots of 'could' there, which suggests Chelsea probably know nothing of this.
Indeed, Max Allegri said on Tuesday: "I have absolutely no fear of losing Balotelli in January.
"He is a Milan player who is now living in a time when he's not playing well, but it can happen."
DEFOE TO MLS?
Ryan Nelsen is now managing Toronto in MLS, and he would quite like to take Jermain Defoe to t'other side of the pond, but seems to realise it's quite a hard sell.
"That's not a serious question, is it?" he said when asked about Defoe.
"Jermain Defoe in this league? Look what [Marco] Di Vaio has done! My goodness - incredible player.
"One of the most natural goalscorers I have ever come across. Always out training, always trying to score, a great guy.
"To get a guy like Defoe for the MLS, I cannot think of many that are more suited. I think if you ask most Premier League teams, they would take Defoe."
Nelsen confirmed he stays in touch with Defoe, adding: "It would be incredible. I call him and text him all the time.
"Him playing in Toronto would be phenomenal. If you look around the world and try and think of a realistic player - and I am not sure how realistic he is - that complements a league like ours, never gets injured, doesn't drink, can play high, low, scores all sorts of goals - do you know something I don't? Can you go over and sell it to him?"
AND THE REST...
Reading are tracking Rotherham's Ben Pringle and could make a move in January...Jose Mourinho wants to sign Xabi Alonso on a free transfer at the end of the season...Southampton are ready to keep it in the family by snapping up Victor Wanyama's brother - Inter Milan midfielder McDonald Mariga, 26, in January...Chris Coleman as entered the race to become the next Crystal Palace manager after the club "cooled their interest" in Tony Pulis...Sunderland midfielder David Vaughan is in talks with Nottingham Forest about a loan move with Blackpool, Derby and Leicester also interested...Blackburn want Bolton forward Craig Davies on loan...Galatasaray want to make a January move for Southampton's Gaston Ramirez...Barcelona are still keeping tabs on Pepe Reina, despite holding talks with Borussia Moenchengladbach about an £8m move for Marc-Andre Ter Stegen.