In many respects, we should recommend that you don't read Mediawatch today, and simply have a look at Adrian Durham's Twitter feed.
Durham, apparently upset that people spotted his argument on Tuesday about Arsenal wandering up to Manchester City and borrowing Joe Hart, with City apparently having 'no right' to say no, was a little 'askew', tweeted the following:
'Some people have got sucked into a life of hate, and don't wanna debate football. Some websites that used to be brilliant, now feed the hate.'
So that's Adrian Durham, presenter on talkSPORT and columnist for The Daily Mail, accusing someone else of 'feeding hate.'
Bound To Go Well
You'll probably already have seen these, but it's probably worth recalling how Roy Keane and his new FAI employer John Delaney have got on in the past.
In 2009, Keane was asked about Delaney, and the assembled journalists leant back in their seats as he said:
"People seem to forget what was going on in that World Cup, and that man [Delaney] is on about honesty. I was one of the players and he didn't have the courtesy to ring me.
"I'd been involved with Ireland since I was 15 years of age and that man didn't have the decency to make a phone call. He could have phoned me, of course he could have."
To which Delaney responded:
"It's just a side-show. We've all moved on from Saipan - Niall Quinn, Mick McCarthy, the FAI and all the players, but it seems to me that he [Keane] hasn't. It's time for him now, in my opinion, to learn from the past, not live with it.
"I really thought the images shown around the world on Friday were very sad. It's sad to see a great former player reflected in the manner as he did. It's time to forget about Saipan and move on, because everyone else has."
We're sure it'll be fine though.
Before this morning, Mediawatch was quite worried about the World Cup in 2022. As are quite a few people.
What with the 50-degree temperatures if it's held in the summer, the disruption to the rest of world football if it's held in the winter, the human rights 'issues' that Qatar have, the as-yet non-existent infrastructure apparently being built using slave labour...we could go on.
Don't worry about it though. We've been reassured. All of our worries are cast aside. And you know what? All it took was one tweet. One 140-character soothing from a man in the know.
Step forward Doha-based Al-Jazeera employee Richard Keys, who said:
'Just seen the WC bid presentation made to FIFA on behalf of Qatar. Spectacular. Relax - it'll be wonderful.'
And all it took was one PowerPoint presentation.
Although, arguably, Richard has missed one or two key issues.
Position Of The Fortnight
Sven Goran Eriksson's new book, while we are yet to get our hands on a copy, sounds like a guidebook for the footballing buffoon. A very sexually-successful buffoon, but a buffoon nonetheless.
It seems as if there's plenty in the weighty tome to mock/criticise ol' Svennis for, which is why Martin Samuel's pop at Sweden's Swordsman Of The Year (1978-2011) is a little curious.
Samuel muses that had Eriksson not been scouting out the best restaurants to pick up women and, occasionally, eat a meal, he might have been a better England manager. Which is a reasonable criticism.
However, he writes in The Daily Mail: 'The national coach has so little time with his players that he can only use them in their club positions, he insists. This will have come as a surprise to England squad members under Terry Venables or Glenn Hoddle who were required to play wide midfield or wing back, full back or wide centre half, as occasion demanded. Marcel Desailly, Gilberto Silva, Philipp Lahm, even Zinedine Zidane and Lionel Messi, have also played in roles that were at odds with their club berth.
'The adaptability of the performer is clearly important, but so too is the willingness of the manager to coach.'
Of all the things you can criticise Sven for, not trying things tactically or play people 'out of position' seems to be an odd one. A quick scout round reveals Sven playing Wayne Bridge in midfield, Owen Hargreaves in defence, Emile Heskey on the wing (or in the team at all - lolololololololol), Paul Scholes on the wing, Andy Johnson on the wing - hell, he even experimented with David Beckham at right-back briefly, and had to be talked out of starting him there in a 2006 World Cup game. There are plenty more, we are certain.
Still, if even Sven himself can't remember any of this, maybe Samuel can't be blamed too much.
Samuel has more, launching a criticism of Leroy Fer after the Norwich player was involved in an 'incident' against Cardiff. He didn't give the ball back after injury, basically.
Samuel criticises Fer for his comments made after the match in which the Dutchman said he was simply trying to win the game and had no regrets, launching a rather odd attack on the midfielder's performances this season, in which the headline 'In heat of battle, Fer fires blanks' is merely the starting point.
'With Norwich in such dire straits, it must be good to know they have an at-all-costs winner like Fer on their side. So how many league goals has he scored with his ferocious approach this season? None.'
Erm, he's been operating as a defensive midfielder, Martin. That's not really his sole job.
'He doesn't seem to be creating too much, either, as the three strikers Norwich signed for £13.5m have managed just six shots on target between them and scored once. So far, Fer has proved he has a dead eye for goal only when the opposition has stopped.'
He's erm... been playing as a midfielder. He's made more tackles than any other Norwich player.
'If Fer had fancied demonstrating that well-honed determination to win, this would surely have been the time. Just one at the City end to stop the rot? Apparently not.'
Yeah... erm... Y'know. Midfielder. And he has received four consecutive club Man of the Match awards this season. And was Norwich's Player of the Month for September.
'He has the kind of competitive streak that every manager desires - but only if he is looking for a pay-off.'
Oh right, of course. Because goals and assists are the sole way to show determination and commitment in this game. Silly us. Bobby Moore only scored twice in 108 England matches. Bloody turncoat.
Headline from The Daily Mirror: 'Herr dryer treatment - after Mourinho's blast, Germany star Schurrle says Blues will turn their fury on Schalke.'
Intro from The Daily Mirror: 'Andre Schurrle promised Chelsea will make Schalke pay for their St James' Park debacle - so they avoid another dressing room paint-stripper from Jose Mourinho.'
Actual quotes from Andre Schurrle: "I think it's normal that he was frustrated. We had a bad match and we didn't play well. It's only normal that the manager wasn't very happy with us. When we do something wrong or don't play well he always tells us straightaway. But he also does it directly - face to face with us. That's good because after that, after he's told you, you know you have to do something to prove him wrong, to prove we are a good team and that we can play well."
'Germans will pay for Blues disaster' screams The Daily Star with an article using quotes from Gary Cahill 'warning Schalke to brace themselces for a Chelsea backlash'.
Actual quotes from Cahill:
"We're looking for a positive performance, which I'm sure we'll get. We were looking to maintain the momentum and got a poor result. As players you want to get straight back out there and put things right."
Brace yourselves, lads.
Quote Of The Day
"God help the players" - Neil Lennon reacts to Ireland's new management team.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Foulaini' - The Sun.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A US man is planning to have one of his testicles chopped off to sell it to scientists for £22,000. Mark Parisi will appear on a reality TV show undergoing surgery to have a testicle removed and replaced with an artificial orb. "What you do is you go in and you donate one of your testicles, they replace it with an artificial one and when you check out after 14 days you get a cheque for $35,000," he said. Mr Parisi, from Las Vegas, regularly enrols in clinical trials for money but says he is "anxious, anxious and excited" ahead of this study. He is to be featured on the aptly named Extreme Cheapskates programme in the US' - Orange.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotter...oh, nobody. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.