Revealed: Rinus Michels' Total Breakfast

Legendary Dutch coach Rinus Michels visited Rosie's Café in Kilburn in the 1970s and revolutionised the English fried-up. But of course the English would not listen...

Last Updated: 07/11/13 at 14:46

More of the games that matter

Upgrade in minutes or watch with a NOW TV Day Pass.

This is taken from 'Tutenkhamen's Tracksuit - The History Of Sport In 100-ish Objects', the surreally subversive history of sport by the fantastically original Tyers and Beach. It's available now in all good bookshops and some poor ones.

Object 71

Tactical Condiments

Full English and sauce bottles Kilburn, 1974

In the 1970s, the legendary Dutch coach Rinus Michels visited England regularly, largely to refresh his memory of how football should not be played. Delayed by Jubilee Line engineering works on his way to Wembley one morning, he exited the underground at Kilburn and stopped at Rosie's Café for a meal that would, despite its unlikely and humble origins, have huge cultural significance. He wrote in his diary:

'The café was crowded but I asked to share a table which had three guys at it - I never like being forced to sit in one fixed table so it didn't cause a problems for me. One of them, a builder, was demonstrating to the others a goal he had scored in his Sunday League game, moving the pepper pots and sauce bottles around.

'As I was watching his rudimentary tactical explanation, I started to examine also his breakfast. It occurred to me that the traditional English breakfast was out-dated, rigid - the bacon down the side, the fried bread forming a wall, the beans kept disconnected away from the egg, the immobile tomato. Why should the fried-up have to be this way?

'I began to move items around on the man's plate - a piece of bacon here, overlapping with the fried slice, a mushroom here popping up, there receding into the egg yolk, a free-form dollop of brown sauce working in perfect harmony in alongside red sauce, a Withdrawn (or False) Sausage, all coming together in one glorious breakfast whole.

'The builder man was resistant to my revolutionising of his plate and told me if I did not stop rearranging his breakfast he would start rearranging my face. I told him this would not be necessary and left quietly, sure in the knowledge that the English are a generation at least behind my concept of Total Breakfast.'

Picture note: This Total Breakfast model is used for tactical analysis at the Ajax All-Day Academy and has kindly been loaned to the Museum.

Football365 Facebook Fan Page

The Football365 fan page is a great place to meet like minded people, have football related discussions and make new friends.

Related News

Most Commented

Readers' Comments

I

really enjoyed this. Thanks F365 for another year of work avoidance - happy Christmas.

megabrow (cufc)
Our Person Of The Year: Alan Pardew

I

m no Sam Fan and this article sums him up beautifully. I always like to imagine that when he watches anything on TV and hears clapping, he stands up and aknowledges the applause, thinking its for him!

cozens
Football Managers On TV: Sam Allardyce

N

ah, Fergie is just having another pop at Rooney. He just wants to put him down whenever he gets a chance. Rooney is by far the best English player. Carrick is not far behind, mind. However, by elevating Carrick like that, Sir is having a dig at Wayne. Fergie is well-known for mind games like that. Good to see he's still feisty.

timbo
Van Gaal will thrive - Ferguson

Footer 365

Premier League: QPR look for result against Arsenal, Rio Ferdinand in selection contention

QPR boss Harry Redknapp says Rio Ferdinand could be back in the team as the squad is rotated through the festive period.

Premier League: Nemanja Matic says Chelsea can win quadruple

Chelsea midfielder Nemanja Matic insists the Blues can win the quadruple this season.

Premier League: Ronald Koeman facing selection crisis ahead of Southampton's match against Everton

Harrison Reed's impressive display against Everton has given Ronald Koeman a selection dilemma.

Mail Box

Van Gaal's Half-Term Report Card...

One Man United fan isn't happy with the rate the team is progressing under Louis van Gaal, while the mailbox also wishes Liverpool fans a Merry Mid-Table Christmas...

Hang On, Rafa's Success Is No Fluke...

The afternoon mailbox kicks the morning mailbox's arse after claims that Rafa Benitez has fluked his success. Plus, big talk about Liverpool's progress and lots more...

© 2014 British Sky Broadcasting Ltd. All Rights Reserved A Sky Sports Digital Media property