The F365 Premier XI: The I Candy

The first challenge was finding 11 decent players (we found ten plus Steffen Iversen) and then the second challenge was fitting them into a formation. So here's a rather defensive (and s**t) 4-5-1...

Last Updated: 23/07/09 at 10:03 Post Comment


Goalkeeper: Eike Immel
A German international with over 500 Bundesliga games under his belt, Immel was 35 when he arrived at City as back-up to Tony Coton. But his class was difficult to ignore and he soon became City's first-choice keeper and could barely be blamed for their relegation at the end of the season. A tale of four managers and four keepers later and Immel found himself surplus to requirements even in Division One. He may not have been Bert Trautmann but he was a bigger success at City than I rival Andreas Isaaksson.


Right-back: Denis Irwin
At £625,000, Irwin is in the Peter Schmeichel bracket of Sir Alex Ferguson bargains. The Irishman helped United win seven Premier League titles, a Champions League and three FA Cups and was still first-choice left-back well into his Thirties. He even managed a year in the top flight with Wolves at the age of 37. For our purposes he fills in at right-back, which might at least keep him off MUTV for the day.


Centre-Half: Branislav Ivanovic
Pretty much everyone forgot that Chelsea had spent £9m on the Serbian centre-half until he was linked with a move away from Stamford Bridge last summer. It took nine months for him to make his Premier League debut and he remained fourth choice in the Chelsea centre-half pecking order until he filled in at right-back against Liverpool in the Champions League and scored twice. That made him a) a fans' hero and b) a Guus Hiddink favourite.


Centre-Half: Ivar Ingimarsson
At £175,000, we also have another I bargain in the shape of the Icelandic centre-half who was surplus to requirements at Wolves but established himself as a regular with Reading in partnership with Ibrahima Sonko. He didn't look out of his depth in the Premier League and was voted Player of the Season by Reading fans after an ever-present season that saw Reading exceed all expectations. If footballers had any imagination at all, his nickname would be 'The Engine'. In reality, it's probably 'Ingy'.


Left-back: Herita Ilunga
'Herita is really surprised and happy by the intensive programm of training created by Gianfranco Zola and his staff. Herita told us that the staff is very imaginative and that the ball is always the main element of all the physical sessions. Those training method seems to deligh the players !' it says on the Congolese left-back's blog this week. Doesn't he seem nice? Hardly a household name when he arrived at West Ham on loan from Toulouse, a year later he's a fan favourite and we like him too.


Midfield: Andy Impey
Younger readers may be shocked to discover that in the very first Premier League season, a bloody good QPR side finished fifth. Their player of the season that year and the following two years was Andy Impey, who was a more-than-decent winger who relished having target men like Les Ferdinand and Kevin Gallen. He was also a key part of Martin O'Neill's Leicester City side that won the League Cup in 2000 - his second trophy after the FA Vase with Yeading that grabbed the attention of QPR ten years before.


Midfield: Junichi Inamoto
In no way signed for the shirt sales, Arsenal brought one of Japan's most recognisable players to Europe in 2001 but then neglected to play him in the Premier League. A very good World Cup later, the central midfielder joined Fulham and two years later Chris Coleman wanted to give him a permanent deal. Until, that is, his tibia broke in a challenge with Phil Neville during an international 'friendly'. He returned to Japan before joining West Brom, where Bryan Robson used him only reluctantly. A decent though underwhelming player, he's just joined Rennes apparently.


Midfield: Paul Ince
A "f***ing big-time Charlie" according to Sir Alex, who must have met a fair few. He's the lynchpin of our I team though (let's face it, he's carrying them) in his furious and wholehearted pomp. A key part of United's first two Premier League triumphs, he was made a scapegoat for the following trophyless season and was sold to Inter Milan. Two successful years later he was back in England with Liverpool, where his proudest moment was a late equaliser against United that he celebrated with some distinction in front of the Kop. Spells at Middlesbrough and Wolves followed for the self-style Guv'nor who just about beats Jermain Defoe as Hammers' fans' all-time hero.


Midfield: Stephen Ireland
Two dead grandmas, The Mystery Of The Appearing/Disappearing Head Of Hair, the Jeep with pink trim - Ireland has not been quiet off the pitch even if his rise to greatness on the pitch was done very quietly indeed. From being a decent midfielder in the shadow of Joey Barton three years ago, Ireland has become one of the best homegrown talents in the Premier League. The only untouchable from the pre-Arab City side, Ireland was their Player of the Season as he revelled in playing alongside the likes of Robinho and Shaun Wright-Phillips.


Midfield: Muzzy Izzet
Last seen helping Leicester city to the Central Masters despite being a rather youthful 34, Izzet was a true Foxes legend and turned down moves to West Ham, Middlesbrough and Aston Villa to stay with Leicester and help them to two League Cup triumphs as well as two promotions. A very decent attacking midfielder, he chalked up the most assists in the Premier League in 2003/04 despite the club being relegated. He did make a slight return with Birmingham but his spell there was marred by injury and an ill-advised beard.


Striker: Steffen Iversen
The son of a man called Odd (who was a pretty handy striker in his day), Iversen joined Tottenham for £2.5m when he was just 20 years old and within a couple of years was first-choice striker along with Les Ferdinand in a team that featured Darren Anderton and David Ginola on the wings. One year brought League Cup triumph and the next brought 13 league goals, but nothing ever brought the feeling that Iversen was quite good enough for the Premier League. That was underlined with a season at Wolves that reaped a meagre four goals.


Sarah Winterburn

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Readers' Comments

T

here has only been 3 players who made me hold my breath in dread when they picked the ball up anywhere near our penalty area...in their prime Scholes and Giggs... and always Drogba. Awesome player who on his day was the best striker in the world in my opinion.

gunner14
Farewell Big, Brutal, Big-Balled B**tard

I

remember him scoring a 25-yarder, either the season just gone or the one before, against Bolton at the Reebok. I've never seen a ball hit that hard before in my entire life. You could almost feel the shockwave from his foot contacting it 40 yards away in the stands. Didier Droga. You might not have loved him, but you just had to be in awe of him.

jon_bwfc
Farewell Big, Brutal, Big-Balled B**tard

E

den Hazard, def. - 1) that girl in a club who makes eyes at you all night, who allows you to buy her a drink and walk her home arm in arm, who then gives you a suggestive kiss on her doorstep before declaring how tired she is and how she has to be up early the next day. 2) A cock tease.

cramp
Hazard 'terms agreed' with trio

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