Goalkeeper: Jussi Jääskeläinen
Difficult chioce between David James and the big Finn, but 12 years of almost error-free goalkeeping plus admirable and unusual loyalty sees him given the nod. When his contract expired last summer we all assumed that Jaaskelainen would depart for pastures new (and some much-deserved trophies), but the Finn put his three children (all born in Bolton) first and stayed in the town. He has recently donated all his testimonial money to three local charities - what a lovely chap.
Right-Back: Glen Johnson
Whether you think he's worth £17m (or refuse to believe he cost £17m because of some bizarre mathematics including Peter Crouch) or not, nobody can argue that Johnson's stock has risen immeasurably in 12 months during which he was the right-back in the PFA Team of the Year and, more importantly, in Fabio Capello's England team. There are still doubts about him defensively but at the age of just 24 he has Premier League, FA Cup and League Cup medals, though he failed to get away with the much-coveted toilet seat.
Centre-Half: Ronny Johnsen
Played less than 100 Premier League games over six seasons at United, but that was more about injury than ability as the 'Norwegian Beckenbauer' was a solid performer either at centre-half or in central midfield when called upon to shackle the likes of Zinedine Zidane in big European games. His name will always trip off the tongue for United fans who name the 1999 Treble-winning side, while Villa fans will remember two solid if slow years in the Midlands after Sir Alex reluctantly released him on a free transfer.
Centre-Half: Phil Jagielka
Probably the only Premier League player with 'Nikodem' as a middle name, Jagielka has come a long way in two years since he looked like a jack of all trades and master of very little at Sheffield United. The early months at Everton were poor as Jags found his feet but a settled place in the centre of the Toffees' defence earned him plaudits as well as England calls. If Lescott is worth £15m, what price on the head of the man who outshone him last season? Probably about £10m, as it happens.
Left-Back: Rob Jones
Shunted out to the left flank to make room for Johnson, just as he was shunted out there in 1995 to make room for Jason McAteer. A cracking attacking full-back, Jones was tragically forced to retire through injury at the age of 27, leaving Gary Neville with a free run at the England right-back slot. Nicknamed 'Trigger' by his teammates, so we'll assume that Mrs Jones was the driving force in their successful nursery business.
Right Midfield: Claus Jensen
A quality creative midfielder first with Bolton (though he never reached the Premier League), Charlton (including one cracking goal v Manchester United) and then Fulham (where injury plagued his three years) before a premature retirement at the age of 30. Now in the music business back in Denmark, Jensen - along with Per Franden and Jaaskelainen - was a welcome addition to English football for which we can thank Colin Todd.
Centre Midfield: Jermaine Jenas
We've enjoyed a lifetime's worth of jibes at Jenas on F365 and for years Y always stood for Jenas in our end-of-year alphabet, but we have to admit...No, bollocks to that, he's an average footballer whose achievements/wage packet do not match his ability. But he's a sight better than Damien Johnson.
Centre Midfield: Vinnie Jones
It says here that he's preparing to play 'Nancy' in 'Not Another Not Another Movie', which tells you all you need to know about Jones' acting chops. To learn about Jones' footballing, erm, 'chops', see this quote from David Ginola: "Jones does not deserve to be considered a footballer. Getting kicked is part of the job in France as well as England, but the real scandal is that someone like Jones gets to be a star, to make videos and become an example for kids." But six seasons of Premier League football with an uncompromising Wimbledon side should not be dismissed out of hand - Jones was certainly 'effective'.
Left Midfield: Juninho
Legend has it that TLF (The Little Fella) played football with kids on the streets of Teesside when he first arrived in England from Sao Paulo for the first of three spells and the beginning of an unlikely love affair with Middlesbrough. Despite the club's relegation (that reduced little Juninho to tears), football writers voted him runner-up to Gianfranco Zola in their Player of the Season awards. Boro fans would later vote him the greatest player to ever wear their red shirt, no doubt influenced by his quote that winning the League Cup with Boro was better than winning the World Cup with Brazil. When ignorant folk talk of foreign mercenaries, point them in the direction of little Juninho.
Striker: Andy Johnson
Jose Mourinho said he was "untrustworthy", but we'd still rather have him in this team ahead of Jonatan Johansson. He might go to ground easily (winning seven of the eight penalties he scored in his 21-goal season), but Johnson almost singlehandedly kept Crystal Palace in the Premier League the year their bouncebackability went a little flat. Everton paid £8.6m for his services and must have been shocked to find he was somehow worth more two years later despite a decent but utterly unspectacular spell at Goodison Park. His 'none in eight games' England record tells you he's probably found his level at mid-table Fulham.
Striker: Kenwyne Jones
We admit that there was absolute disbelief in F365 Towers when we heard that Roy Keane was prepared to pay £6m for a player who had underwhelmed us all in the Championship. After a few months in which he'd caused some of the best central defenders in Europe horrendous problems with his height and strength, we took it back. Jones was so impressive in that first season for Sunderland that he was linked with a £12m move to Liverpool and he only ended talk of a £10m move to Spurs by signing a new deal. Scored ten goals for a poor Black Cats side last season but should deliver more with better players around him.
Sarah Winterburn
Post Comment
