Leicester v Newcastle
The only thing putting me off a massive lump on The Foxes here is the fact they were involved in a real battle with Chelsea on Wednesday night. Fatigue could be a factor but Nigel ‘You are an Ostrich’ Pearson will know a win here will go a long way towards securing their top flight future. Pearson reminded me of a bully boy school teacher on Wednesday night and rest assured if he had been fielding questions about this particular wordsmith’s flexibility in such a sh*tty manner I would have jumped up and paggered him. Newcastle have been an absolute shambles in recent weeks and don’t be surprised to see John Carver enter the dug out in a crash helmet and body armour after calling on the club to protect him from their frustrated and success starved legion of followers. It’s a disgrace what’s going on up there and the fans are furious about the club’s apparent acceptance of mediocrity year in year out. As my old Nan used to say “I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea”. So swivel on that Mike Ashley.
Betting: Leicester to win at 19/20 (Paddy Power)
Aston Villa v Everton
Despite an upturn in fortunes Villa are still perilously close to the drop zone and could do with a win. Trouble is Everton are on fire and I make them punting material at 7/4 to record their fifth win in six here. They were rampant against Manchester United last time out and are looking to finish what looked a moribund season on a real high.
Betting: Everton to win at 7/4 (Boylesports
Liverpool v QPR
Rangers look doomed following Hull’s recent heroics while Liverpool will be mooching about on ITV4 next season in the Europa League following a shocking recent return. Brendan Rodgers reckons they need a few marquee names in the summer to see them challenging again but I can’t get my nut round how this young squad have fallen apart so spectacularly having had Champions League football in their sights just a few short weeks ago. The bottom line is anyone backing them here at 1/3 or worse wants whipping with a heavy belt and then made to watch back-to-back episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps.
Betting: Charlie Austin to score anytime at 7/2 (Betfred)
Sunderland v Southampton
The Saints are unbeaten in their last six league visits to The Stadium of Light but The Black Cats know defeat is not an option on Saturday. They picked up a battling point against Stoke last week (a result that butchered three separate coupons for yours truly and sent me into a gin-drinking frenzy that ended with me having to sleep in the garage on Saturday night). All things considered here surely the draw looks the percentage call?
Betting: Draw at 12/5 (Sporting Bet)
Swansea v Stoke City
As stated earlier I’ve got the hump with Stoke and wouldn’t care a jot if Swansea ran riot here. The Swans are unbeaten in five home games too against The Potters. Frank Bough. Jeremy Bates. Julian Clary. Let’s hope your boys take a hell of a beating.
Betting: Swansea to win at 11/8 (Betfred)
West Ham v Burnley
Burnley have had a ‘reet good go’ but it looks as though they will be playing Championship football again next season. Put simply they have not scored enough goals and could struggle again here against a West Ham side whose minds may already be on the beach. I’m literally just going to stick £30 on Enner Valencia to score first here because, frankly, that’s how I roll sometimes.
Betting: Valencia to score first at 6/1 (Bet Victor)
Manchester United v West Brom
The Red Devils were thumped by Everton last time out in a result that rather came out of the blue (pardon the pun). They are big odds on to get back on track at Old Trafford against a Baggies side who have won just one of their last 21 matches against ManYoo. Wayne Rooney has scored in each of his last six starts against this lot so I’m perfectly comfortable backing him to score in the match at odds against.
Betting: Rooney to score anytime at 5/4 (Stan James)
Chelsea v Crystal Palace
The Blues can win the league this weekend having been in the box seat for what feels like forever. Stamford Bridge should be jumping on Sunday to see Mourinho’s men crowned champions and having lost just one of their last 14 matches against The Eagles there is more chance of The Green Party winning the General Election next week than Palace (11/1 shots) doing the business here. And as for the boring talk? Thirteen points clear having scored 68 goals in 34 games. I only wish Hartlepool were that f*cking boring…
Betting: Hazard to score first and Chelsea to win 3-0 at 33/1 (Bet Victor)
Tottenham v Manchester City
This should be a tasty tussle between teams who like to get forward. Both teams have goals in them while both have been struggling to keep clean sheets in recent weeks so I’m banking on a goal-fest. One final word about the election: I played UKIP version of Cluedo last night. It was the immigrants. All the time. Everywhere.
Betting: Over 4.5 goals at 100/30 (bet365)
Leicester v Newcastle