Cheeky Punt: Call me a lunatic but Swansea to win…

Date published: Friday 13th May 2016 9:15

Arsenal v Aston Villa
Villa halted a run off 11 straight defeats by drawing with Newcastle last weekend (as tipped up on these very pages – YETI!) but the bookies don’t fancy them here with Arsenal as short as 1/7 in places for the win. I reckon the hosts could do a proper job on Villa here and see them off to the Championship in style. A 5-1 scoreline is 25/1 and looks a play to me under the circumstances.
Betting: Arsenal to win 5-1 at 25/1 (Bet Victor)


Chelsea v Leicester
Cracking game this and given that Jamie Vardy still has his eye on ending a dreamy season as the Premier League’s top scorer, don’t think for one minute the Foxes’ frontman won’t be busting a gut here. Talking of goals, after a 30-match run without scorin,g Eden Hazard has been knocking them in left, right and centre recently and the Belgian who enjoyed a stunning 2014/15 campaign looks to have finally found some form again. He was unplayable at times against Liverpool on Wednesday night and if he turns up here in the mood, 9/4 about him scoring looks a steal.
Betting: Hazard to score anytime at 9/4 (Betfred)


Everton v Norwich City
Too little too late for Norwich, who were excellent in a 4-2 win at Watford on Wednesday night but still relegated after Sunderland’s drubbing of Everton. Alex Neil looked sick as f*ck afterwards and rightly so. They have not rolled the dice at all in terms of transfers this season and the bottom line is if you pay peanuts you get monkeys. Or canaries. It’s one of the two. Everton ‘sensationally’ axed Roverto Martinez on Thursday but I’m amazed he lasted as long as he did given the Toffees have won just seven out of 29 league games since September 28. The £4million-a-year contract he was on at Goodison probably had something to do with it and there is talk now about Frank de Boer taking over. He went from 9/2 to 1/2 for the Everton job on Thursday but after recent displays maybe a better choice would be hiring his brother…Rupert?
Betting: Everton to win at 5/6 (Sky Bet)


Manchester United v Bournemouth
The Red Devils blew a glorious chance to put their Champions League fate in their own hands by losing 3-2 at West Ham on Tuesday night. It was a momentous evening for the Hammers as the club waved goodbye to the ground they had called home for the past 112 years. There was a genuine LOL moment when David Sullivan gave an interview after the United team coach got smashed up and basically blamed the Red Devils for not getting to the ground at 4pm (for a 7:45pm kick-off). He also downplayed the damage done to the coach. F*ck off! The last time I saw a coach in such a bad way was on the ‘Jolly Boys Outing’ episode of Only Fools & Horses.
Betting: Manchester United to win to nil at 7/5 (Bet Victor)


Newcastle v Tottenham
No team in Premier League history has spent more in a season and been relegated. They were also relegated by arch-rivals Sunderland. And Alan Shearer’s having a pop on Twitter. It really doesn’t get any worse than this for Newcastle and their fans. Spurs’ title hopes were snuffed out the other week but they will be pumped here and won’t want to finish below their big rivals Arsenal after enjoying a such a fine campaign. Away win.
Betting: Tottenham to win at 17/20 (Hills)


Southampton v Crystal Palace
Dwight Gayle pulled my coupon out of the sh*t single handedly last weekend and I reckon the ‘Walthamstow Billy Whizz’ (a nickname I have literally just made up)  has to be worth a tickle at 12/1 here.
Betting: Gayle to score first at 12/1 (Bet Victor)


Stoke City v West Ham
Ordinarily West Ham at 6/5 to win at the Britannia would look a mug bet. But with the Hammers chasing hard for Europe and Stoke shambling towards the end of the season like a drunk in p*ssy jeans staggering round a carnival having imbibed too much Three Hammers cider, I’m willing to make an exception. They were awesome against Manchester United in the week and will surely ‘give it some large’ here too.
Betting: West Ham to win at 6/5 (Hills)


Swansea v Manchester City
The Citizens know a Champions League berth next season is back in their hands. If they can beat Swansea it’s job done and they are twos on or thereabouts to claim three points here. But they have not won in four and I see a late twist in the race for that coveted fourth spot. Call me a lunatic but I think Swansea, who have won their last two and scored seven goals while doing so, are a bet here at 11/2.
Betting: Swansea to win at 11/2 (Betfred)


Watford v Sunderland
It’s official. The Black Cats have clambered to top-flight safety again in quite sensational style. They had three points after nine matches this season and were winless in December so fair f*cks to Big Sam for masterminding another great escape. They were worthy winners against Everton in the week but my heart sank during their lap of honour afterwards and Allardyce began having ‘bants’ with the fans and pointing at them individually as though he was Big Daddy. You’re not an iconic 1980s wrestler Sam. You are a cliched c*nt who just happens to be very good at keeping clubs in the top flight. So there.
Betting: Defoe to score first at 6/1 (Paddy Power)


West Brom v Liverpool
Home banker surely this? Liverpool will just be days away from their most important game for years and with a Champions League place up for grabs Jurgen Klopp won’t be risking his A-Listers at the Hawthorns. With this in mind look for the Baggies to do the business amid a flurry of goals.
Betting: West Brom to win and both teams to score at 16/5 (Coral/Ladbrokes)


Degsy Bilton

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