Norwich v Manchester United
The Canaries have lost three off the belt and their plight looks about as healthy right now as that Norwegian Blue parrot from the Monty Python sketches. Saturday will tell us plenty whether Norwich are simply dead or just resting. My hunch is it’s the former. F*ck me, if Sunderland can win 3-0 at Carrow Road then the Red Devils should win this playing bare foot.
Betting: Manchester United to win at 10/11 (Betfred)
Aston Villa v Newcastle
Villa have lost 11 on the spin but there have been signs of life in their last two games. The Mags need a win but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll get it at Villa Park. I simply cannot have the Toon at 4/7 or thereabouts here given they’ve taken a solitary point on their travels in 2016 so far and reckon the draw could be worth a play under the circumstances.
Betting: Draw at 100/30 (Betfred)
Bournemouth v West Brom
Both protagonists have been dogsh*te in recent weeks and there’s just no mileage in backing the Cherries at odds-on given their recent poor run. That said I wouldn’t back the Baggies with stolen dough either so the advice here is f*ck this off completely and take some 3/1 action about Saul Alvarez stopping Amir Khan in rounds 7-12 on Saturday night. The ginger Mexican (who looks Irish – go figure) is a brilliant technician and will go looking for Amir, who admittedly is one of the fastest fighters around. It’s just a shame he has a chin woven from egg shells.
Betting: Alvarez to win in rounds 7-12 at 3/1 (Ladbrokes)
Crystal Palace v Stoke City
Home win for me here. The Eagles are unbeaten in their last five against the Stokies (winning four) and it’s worth mentioning that the Potters have gone nine league games on the road without a clean sheet. In that time they have shipped 22 goals so all signs point to a Palace win. He says…
Betting: Crystal Palace to win at 11/10(Hills)
Sunderland v Chelsea
I’ve just started working with a lad from Sunderland. He’s a bit of a loon and casually announced on Thursday that he will let me “fart all over” his dinner on Monday if the Black Cats beat Chelsea. The good news is I am game as pie for said challenge. The bad news is Sunderland have not beaten Chelsea at the Stadium of Light since October 2000. Over to you, Mr Allardyce.
Betting: Draw at 13/5 (Betfred)
West Ham v Swansea
After cleaning right up at their end of season awards I reckon Dimitri Payet is worth a decent bet to score in this one. The Frenchman has been absolutely top drawer this season, scoring 12 goals and making himself as popular in the East End as jellied eels and casual gangland violence. He should be far too crafty for a Swansea defence who have shipped eight goals in their last three matches.
Betting: Payet to score anytime at 2/1 (Coral)
Leicester v Everton
So the team Merse, Champagne Charlie, big Garthy Crooks and other media ‘pundits’ said couldn’t win the league, did win the league. With two games to spare. Dilly ding, dilly f*cking dong. It might just be the greatest story ever told. And one would imagine the atmosphere inside the King Power on Saturday evening will be something special. I’ve no doubt the players will have been on the pots and pans this week to celebrate their seminal title victory. But even if they turn up half alight after another sesh in Jamie Vardy’s kitchen I still reckon they’ll be too much for poor Everton.
Betting: Leicester to win and both teams to score at 23/10 (Boylesports)
Tottenham v Southampton
A case of ‘After the Lord Mayor’s Show’ I’m afraid for Spurs, who will rue letting their a*ses nip the other week at home to West Brom long into the summer. It’s been a season of progress, and normally when you finish above Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and the two Manchester clubs you win the league. But this season has been anything except normal.
Betting: Tottenham to win and both teams to score at 11/4 (bet365)
Liverpool v Watford
What an incredible effort again from the Reds in Europe on Thursday night. They absolutely battered Villarreal and are now just a game away from landing an improbable place in next season’s Champions League. It was a brilliant collective effort to sink The Yellow Submarine and now all roads lead to Basel. Truth be known privately Mr Klopp could probably do without a home game against Watford here, and I wouldn’t be rushing to back his boys at 1/2. Both teams to score though does look worth a nibble at just under evens.
Betting: Both teams to score at 3/4 (bet365)
Manchester City v Arsenal
The Citizens promised to leave it all in the Bernabeu in midweek but in the event just didn’t turn up. Yaya Toure was a complete disgrace on the night. The big Ivorian reminded me of a Greek statue. But with less moves. If they lose this, and I reckon they might, they could let bitter city rivals United usurp them at the death to claim fourth.
Betting: Arsenal to win at 2/1 (Hills)