Cheeky Punt: Birthday pe*is Snapchat shame

Date published: Wednesday 18th January 2017 9:58

We heard on Tuesday that FIFA plan to make the World Cup in 2026 a 48-team tournament. Baldy President Gianni Infantino claims the move is all to do with making the tournament “more inclusive” and said “it is the future”. I actually thought garlic bread was the future, but there you go.

We are told it is not about money but football promotion, despite suggestions World Cup revenue would likely increase to 5.29bn. But what price dignity? And what price England losing in the group stage on pens to Burkina Faso?

In fact, why stop at 48 teams? Why not just have a rolling 128-team tournament played exclusively in Qatar in the summer with the winner being the team who has the least number of players dying of extreme heat exhaustion and dehydration due to playing in temperatures in excess of 50 degrees?

*****

Saturday was pretty dramatic. I got my first weekend coupon up of 2017 after wins for Burnley, Arsenal and Portsmouth.

However the win was tainted somewhat by a bizarre incident during an 18th birthday party I attended that evening when a young lad I knew fainted in the pub after sucking on some balloons filled with helium, knocking over a table full of cheese and coleslaw sandwiches.

Thankfully there was an off-duty nurse in attendance who made sure he was okay but the lad was devastated.

With a full pub watching he said: “Nobody will take me seriously now.”

I simply fixed him with a stare and said: “Don’t talk like that.”

*****

It was my birthday on Sunday and while I accept you can only really be young once, you can always be immature. So with this in mind I embarked on a full day on the sauce to watch Merseyside v Manchester.

Two years shy of 40 and with the grey hairs (and more worryingly the ear hairs) becoming more prominent I am more aware than most that you can’t trick old Father Time. But if I was showing my age then so were Manchester City, who I had backed at 4/5 and were run ragged by Everton teenagers Tom Davies and Ademola Lookman at Goodison Park.

It was a bad day at the office for both The Citizens and yours truly, who didn’t get in till 6:35am on Monday and was later severely reprimanded by ‘er indoors after a video of a penis somehow ended up on my Snapchat story.

Cheeky’s Punt of the Week: Everton to beat Crystal Palace at 11/8 (Bet Victor)

Degsy Bilton

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