Tottenham v Bournemouth
The stats surrounding Dele Alli this season are mental. Sixteen goals and five assists, having scored in both of his last two Premier League starts, means he is must-bet material again this weekend against a Bournemouth side who are questionable defensively. 13/10 to score anytime? What have you been smoking, Paddy Power?
Betting: Ali to score anytime at 13/10 (Paddy Power)
Crystal Palace v Leicester City
Palace would be a solid bet here anyway given they’ve won their last three home games to nil (including that recent 3-0 shellacking of Arsenal). Yet when you factor in Leicester’s Champions League quarter-final second leg against Atletico Madrid just three days after this, the home win is sat there naked, winking, waiting.
Betting: Crystal Palace to win and both teams to score at 3/1 (Hills)
Everton v Burnley
Everton smashed four past Leicester last week and will be too strong for Burnley here, who are absolute muck away from home.
Betting: Everton to win to nil at 11/8 (Bet Victor)
Stoke City v Hull City
Hull have only taken one point from 14 games so far this season so can’t be backed with any confidence here.
Incidentally, I stayed in a hotel (which shall remain nameless) in Hull through work last week and they asked me for my feedback upon departure. Below is my reply in full:
‘I really appreciate how much you value my opinion despite the fact you seemingly care little for my livelihood as I cheated death multiple times on your premises, particularly in your “shared bathroom”. Sparky tape is not an adequate measure to seal an electric shower box, nor is a few layers of Plumber’s Mate a sustainable solution to prevent the shower head repeatedly hitting the back of my head.
‘The sink in the bathroom was ideal to piss in though, and saved me walking two flights of stairs where I would often have to steeplechase over filthy mattresses, exposed wires and empty KFC bags.
‘The bloke who took my payment also smelled like Nik Naks.
Betting: Under 2.5 goals at 5/6 (Marathon Bet)
Sunderland v West Ham
Sunderland’s recent form has not been unlike my fighting career as a feckless young man in the kebab shops and pubs of Hartlepool: Loss after ignominious loss. West Ham are odds against here, and I’m not sure why.
Betting: West Ham to win at 11/8 (Betfair)
Watford v Swansea
Swansea are in dire straits once again and put in a horribly flat performance last week as they slipped to a 1-0 defeat at West Ham. Paul Clement seemed to have got them motoring a while back but a series of insipid displays mean they’ve been dragged back into the bottom three. Watford are decent at home, and will prevail here.
Betting: Watford to win 1-0 at 8/1 (Paddy Power)
Southampton v Manchester City
It’s been a decent first season for Claude Puel in English football. Eyebrows were raised to the jauntiest of angles when he got the gig last summer but a respectable league finish looks assured and they also made it to Wembley and gave Manchester United a real argument. Pep Guardiola’s side won’t find it easy on the south coast and City may have to work for their three points as they remain a mess at the back.
Betting: Manchester City to win and both teams to score at 23/10 (Hills)
West Brom v Liverpool
The Reds must negotiate another tricky away fixture after beating Stoke last week. It wasn’t vintage Liverpool but they got the job done at the bet365 Stadium. However West Brom are no divs at home, as Arsenal found out to their cost the other week. This Sunday, I’ll mostly be laying Liverpool.
Betting: West Brom or Draw – double chance at 21/20 (bet365)
Manchester United v Chelsea
The champions-elect head to Old Trafford looking to secure a third win of the season against the Red Devils on Sunday. It should be tasty in midfield when N’Golo Kante and Paul Pogba – the world’s most expensive footballer – square off again.
United though are unbeaten in over 20 matches and this won’t be a cakewalk for Chelsea against players of the calibre of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, David De Gea and Pogba at the Theatre of Dreams. You just wonder whether Don Jose will shuffle his pack though with a crunch Europa League return against Anderlecht to come? Whatever, the whole thing stinks of draw.
Betting: Both teams to score and draw at 18/5 (Bet Victor)