Cheeky Punt: Not on the Sharapova drug yet…

Date published: Wednesday 15th February 2017 9:17

Another nail was hammered into the coffin of the FA Cup last Wednesday night, as both Leicester City and Derby County essentially played reserve sides for an FA Cup fourth-round replay.

I knew the Foxes would make changes so a day previously smashed into Derby, who should really have won that first encounter at Pride Park, at a meaty looking 4/1. Sure enough Leicester made 10 changes from the team that started their last league game but you could have knocked me down with a 7″ dildo when I heard Derby themselves had made eight changes. That’s a team eighth in the Championship, playing against massive locals rivals who just happen to be the champions of England, with a real chance of making the quarter-finals having drawn Millwall in the fifth round, leaving all their big names out.

The game was a bit of a stinker, ending 1-1 with Leicester, who were blatantly there for the taking, then winning 3-1 after extra-time.

“We did not want a replay,” Rams boss Steve McClaren said to the BBC afterwards. “There was no way we couldn’t not make changes with the schedule we have coming up.”

F*ck you Steve. Don’t p*ss on my Trimm Trabs then tell me it’s raining.

*****

I backed Phil Taylor in the Premier League darts on Thursday at 8/11 against James Wade. I had read that Wadey had not beat The Power on TV since something daft like 2009. Cue Wade upping his game to grind out a 6-6 draw in Nottingham to leave me raging.

It’s been a tough few weeks for Taylor, who announced this will be his last year on the oche. He’s not the man he was but it doesn’t help that young upstarts like Michael Van Gerwen are commenting that he should have retired a few years ago.

But if it’s not been the best week for Taylor what about David Beckham? Pilloried in the media over those leaked emails which alluded that he was using humanitarian work to gain a knighthood. Listen I’m not a*sed how much he charges UNICEF to go and do charity work. As long as he keeps selling those David Beckham body spray and shower gel sets for £3 in Home Bargains he’ll do for me.

*****

So I’m in the gym on Tuesday morning more or less minding my own business, but still sending the obligatory SnapChat scene-setter (no point in going otherwise, right?)

From nowhere I get an inbox off a lad I knows advising he can get hold of meldonium. I’ll level with you, I’m not really up on my performance-enhancers these days so I text back asking what the hell he was talking about?

He then advised me this was a drug doing the rounds of the professional sports scene in Eastern Europe and that it would help me train harder and aid recovery time. He then went on to say it was actually the drug that Maria Sharapova got banned from tennis for a while back.

I politely explained that as an overweight 38-year-old my chances of winning the French Open have probably already passed me by and that I didn’t really want to risk my breasts becoming any more like a female tennis player’s under the circumstances, so the answer had to be a polite but firm no.

Cheeky’s Punt of the Week: Millwall to beat Leicester City at 15/8 (General)


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