Cheeky Punt: Raging at Barca and Norwich

Date published: Wednesday 8th February 2017 12:00

If Jose Mourinho took Manchester United’s dismal 0-0 draw against Hull City badly last Wednesday night that was nothing compared to how the stalemate affected yours truly.

The Portuguese got pelters for moaning to the media following the draw at Old Trafford – United’s sixth at home in the league this season – telling one reporter, “If you don’t know football, you shouldn’t be with a microphone in your hand”, before storming off.

I had a bit of a meltdown myself after lumping on Manchester City (4-0 winners at West Ham) and the Red Devils to win -1. The double was paying £260 and was desperately needed to keep my creditors happy. Alas, United couldn’t find a way past a resolute Hull side and the game ended 0-0. By the time the ref blew for full-time I was already one third of a way into a bottle of Famous Grouse and when ‘er indoors came downstairs at 11pm to enquire about the noise she found me cry-singing in a chair nursing a double whiskey while listening to ‘Goodnight Saigon’ by Billy Joel. Football eh? Bloody football.

*****

Saturday was a decent enough day financially after napping Chelsea to beat Arsenal at evens and rolling the profit onto Spurs to win to nil against Middlesbrough.

When the joint-best defence in the Premier League met the worst attack it could only mean one thing, and so it proved as Mauricio Pochettino’s men claimed a 1-0 win.

The cash windfall meant I was on the slurps all day, but my decision to have a day on the Brown Ale would come back to haunt me. As anyone who has quaffed it will testify, ‘Newkie Brown’ is a lethal old brew and soon had me shambling round the boozer like Rod Stewart at a Scottish Cup draw.

I vaguely remember Harry Kane slotting away Spurs’ winning goal, but very little else. All my defences broken down, after nine or ten Newcastle Brown.

*****

Tuesday didn’t start well. I was taken to one side by my boss at work who wanted to know why I was wearing astro boots in the office. He was blatantly unimpressed with my first answer, namely, “Cycled in mate, forgot proper shoes.”

But my follow-up attempt to put a positive spin on things, if anything, made things worse. “Plus, you never know when you might be asked to whip a ball in to the near post.” Suffice to say he looked worried.

I was hoping things might improve later on though when I smashed Barcelona to beat Atletico Madrid (8/13) in a double with Norwich to win at Wigan (7/5). A £50 double was paying nearly £200. Wigan were in poor form and Barca had beaten Atleti 2-1 away just last week. The double was logical. But then when did gambling and logic ever get along? It all looked on at half-time with both teams winning 1-0. However Norwich surrendered a 1-0 lead and eventually drew 2-2 while Barca held on for a 1-1 draw at the Camp Nou. I went to bed raging. Remember folks, it’s only a gambling problem if you are losing.

Cheeky’s Punt of the Week: Tottenham to beat Liverpool at 12/5 (Bet Victor/Stan James)

Degsy Bilton


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