Cheeky Punt: Sodding Arsenal, kegging the boss

Date published: Wednesday 23rd November 2016 8:53

I had a few quid on Arsenal at 19/10 to beat Manchester United on Saturday lunchtime and rushed home from the gym to try and find a live feed. As those who suffer the same frustrations week in, week out will testify it can be a soul-destroying process.

It’s bizarre in fact how we as humans can justify certain actions and expenses but not others. I mean I will literally think nothing of having £300 on a moody dog tip and but refuse categorically to pay for Sky HD and all its finery.

In the event Arsenal drew 1-1. I’d done my money and ended up listening to the action on the radio as ‘er indoors blitzed the house on some crazy cleaning kick. I’m apparently a bit of a hoarder and took umbrage with her attempts to throw out a selection of Boxing News magazines from the late 1990s and also two t shirts than in reality would only ever fit me again if I had my jaw wired and began injecting amphetamine on a daily basis. As Saturdays go, I had certainly had better.

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I was up in the wee small hours on Sunday though to watch Andre Ward’s light-heavyweight title clash with Sergey Kovalev. 2016 has not been a vintage year for boxing so I was hoping this fight would live up to its billing. Thankfully I wasn’t disappointed.

I picked Ward on points before the first bell and had some cash down at evens but after observing the action alone in a darkened room with only a bowl of Coco Pops for company, my gut feeling was that Kovalev – who scored a knockdown in the second round with a fizzing right hand – did enough to win the fight. All three judges had Ward winning by a point. Contentious? Yes. Robbery? F**k off.

I got into some Twitter beef afterwards with some US boxing scribes, with one Ring Magazine writer screaming ‘OH MY GOD. This is the worst robbery I’ve ever seen.’ The geezer had clearly been on the cream sodas and his argument ran that a robbery is when the man who wins a fight doesn’t win. That’s full of s**t obviously as it means by definition any close fight you don’t agree with is a robbery.

Listen, the only ‘robbery’ I could see was that Ward v Kovalev was not PPV but Anthony Joshua v Eric Molina (who has less moves than a Greek statue) next month is.

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With a rare Monday off work I hit the sauce in a big way on Sunday but controversy was just around the corner. I get on really well with the manager of one of the boozers near me so after a few hours on the mixed fruit Kopperbergs while the rest of the pub was enjoying Middlesbrough v Chelsea, I thought I would be OK to ‘keg’ said manager as he stood on a stool putting up Christmas decorations.

It was blatantly anything other than “OK” and I was given a straight red card once he had pulled up his strides. They do nice food in said establishment so imagine the indignity should my dear old mother ask me to go there for Sunday lunch in the near future, only to be told by her eldest, “Er, I can’t Mam I’m currently barred from there for taking down the managers’ trousers while he was putting up a giant snow flake.”

They say everything happens for a reason, but sometimes that reason is you are stupid and a complete f**ing shambles in drink.

Cheeky’s Punt of the Week: Leicester and Middlesbrough to draw at 5/2 (Betbright)  

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