Cheeky Punt: United to squeeze Toffees orange

Date published: Friday 22nd April 2016 8:19

Manchester United

Everton v Manchester United
The Red Devils are surely, surely the best 11/10 pokes in sport this weekend? Everton are a club in disarray. A talented enough side with no organisation or direction. They were a shambles against Liverpool in the week and head to Wembley on a hiding to nothing. Look for United to squeeze that Toffee orange till the pips squeak.
Betting: Manchester United to win at 11/10 (Paddy Power)

 

Crystal Palace v Watford
The other FA Cup semi looks much tougher to call. Watford have been mesmerising in spells this season and even though Messrs Deeney and Ighalo have been a bit quiet of late I am backing them to fire the Hornets to Wembley.
Betting: Deeney to score – Watford to win at 9/2 (Ladbrokes)

 

Manchester City v Stoke
Spurs were particularly decent at Stoke the other night but one wonders whether Mark Hughes’ team are collectively already on the beach mentally, dreaming of eating fresh mango juice and enjoying sexual jaunts in far flung places. Like Rhyll. In a nutshell, Man City should p*ss this.
Betting: Manchester City (-2) at 23/10 (Paddy Power)

 

Aston Villa v Southampton
“Now it’s confirmed maybe it’s a weight off the shoulders and we can give these fans what they deserve – some performances.” So said Joleon Lescott following Villa’s relegation last week. That’s f*cking horrendous craic by the way from a prime mover in arguably the worst Premier League side in history. Come back Derby County circa 2007/08. All is forgiven.
Betting: Charlie Austin to score first at 5/1 (Coral)

 

 

Bournemouth v Chelsea
Not a game I would be throwing the rent money at but Willian might be worth a punt to give the old onion bag some abuse. He has been one of the few players to shine in a terribly mediocre season for the Blues and he is into double figures in terms of goals for the season. And his hair is f*cking mint.
Betting: Willian to score anytime at 19/5 (Stan James)

 

Liverpool v Newcastle
A defeat here could really cripple Newcastle, who to be fair have been decent in their last two matches. It’s probably not a trip they are relishing given that Liverpool have won their last four and scored 16 goals in the process. But the one glimmer of hope is that the Reds have one eye on next week’s Europa League semi. I’m actually going to tickle the draw here. In Benitez we trust.
Betting: Draw at 17/5 (Bet Victor)

 

Sunderland v Arsenal
The atmosphere will be bouncing at the Stadium of Light where Sunderland need a win. In a week when the entertainment world waved goodbye to Prince how nice would it be for Big Sam to pay his own personal tribute to ‘The Purple One’ by claiming three points against the Arsenal and then serenading his players afterwards with his own unique rendition of ‘Little Red Corvette?’ A man can but dream.
Betting: Sunderland to win 1-0 at 15/1 (Bet Victor)

 

Leicester v Swansea
For some time now this has looked the Foxes’ easiest fixture of their run in but Jamie Vardy’s red card has muddied the waters and there is huge pressure on them on Sunday. I have some sympathy for the England man. I mean if my other half was reprimanded every time she pointed at me and called me a “f*cking c*nt” her life would sadly be one long FA improper conduct charge. Other players need to step up on the sabbath. And my gut feeling is they will. This Leicester side has cojones aplenty and a win here would put the pressure firmly back on Spurs.
Betting: Leicester to win 2-0 at 7/1 (Paddy Power)

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