Frozen out: The ‘not even on bench’ XI
None of these players have even made a Premier League bench so far this season. Some are training alone and some have just got a little lost…
Goalkeeper: Victor Valdes (Manchester United)
Last seen: According to the Daily Mirror, he ‘has been ordered to turn up at the club’s Carrington HQ only when Van Gaal’s first team are NOT there’. So if they train in a morning, he has to train in the afternoon. And vice versa. Still, it leaves him plenty of time to relax.
Enjoying a moment of silence and calm at Dunham Massey Deer Park. #nature #meditation pic.twitter.com/gwqIY8afup
— Victor Valdes (@1victorvaldes) September 22, 2015
Centre-half: Philippe Senderos (Aston Villa)
Last seen: Out of Villa’s 25-man Premier League squad; all we know for certain is that he is definitely still Swiss.
Happy national day Switzerland #1erAout #swissnationalday pic.twitter.com/o1bKFR6kul
— Phil Senderos (@Philsend4) August 1, 2015
Centre-half: Papy Djilobodi (Chelsea)
Last seen: Playing the last few seconds of Chelsea’s 4-1 win over Walsall in the Capital One Cup; we don’t think he touched the ball.
Big game today guys, come on Chelsea!
— Papy Djilobodji (@papydjilo15) September 26, 2015
Centre-half (at a stretch): Jose Enrique (Liverpool)
Last seen: Playing 45 minutes for Liverpool’s U-21 side on Monday night alongside fellow forgotten man Joao Carlos Teixeira.
Central midfield: Bruno Zuculini (Manchester City)
Last seen: Scoring a belter for Manchester City’s EDS after being named one of the worst players in La Liga last season.
Central midfield: Matt Grimes (Swansea)
Last seen: Playing 57 minutes in the Swans’ Capital One Cup defeat to Hull City last week.
Attacking midfield: Morgan Amalfitano (West Ham)
Last seen: Training with West Ham’s development squad after a fall-out with Slaven Bilic. The situation has recently been described by one Hammers source to a leading West Ham website as “a mess”.
Attacking midfield: Charles N’Zogbia (Aston Villa)
Last seen:
Darth N'Zogbia turns up for Villa training dressed like a Sith Lord. Thanks @MicahRichards. http://t.co/fkhIDArNXz pic.twitter.com/ow4WqYRhzl
— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) September 24, 2015
Attacking midfield: Gaston Ramirez (Southampton)
Last seen: “Part of the squad, training well, well disciplined and not complaining”, according to manager Ronald Koeman after he played 25 minutes in the Capital One Cup win over MK Dons.
Attacking midfield: Jesse Lingard (Manchester United)
Last seen: Apparently wanted on loan by Sheffield Wednesday. Can you still be a ‘youngster’ and a ‘starlet’ at 22?
Striker: James Wilson (Manchester United)
Last seen: Signing a new contract and presumably heading out on loan to the Championship. But is the new contract to increase his value or safeguard his future?
James Wilson has signed a new contract at #mufc until June 2019 with an option to extend for a further year. pic.twitter.com/SRkTX2tQBW
— Manchester United (@ManUtd) September 25, 2015