Manchester United v Tottenham
You know that moment when you know that tomorrow will be the day of days and you can’t fall asleep because you are permanently aroused? We are in that moment. It’s only Start of the New Football Season Eve ya f*cking dancers!!!! Yes, we’ve had the Ashes and Wimbledon but nothing compares to watching the Beautiful Game with a few bets on. ManYoo get us under way and they look a very good thing at 4/6 to beat a Spurs side who missed their flight back to Blighty and have been spending most of this week slinking around in Germany. Their prep for the big kick-off (which has been absolutely shambolic by the way) has to have been hampered by their involvement in Munich and you have to question whether finishing third in the Audi Cup was worth all the hassle? The Red Devils have bought big but for me are a striker light at least in terms of competing for the title. What they have however should be plenty good enough to see off Tottenham.
Betting: Manchester United to win and both teams to score at 3/1 (Ladbrokes)
Bournemouth v Aston Villa
If you had told me back in 2008 that Bournemouth would be playing Aston Villa in a Premier League fixture and be betting jollies I would almost certainly have told you to stop sniffing damp start. That’s the scenario we find ourselves in this weekend however as the Cherries make their PL bow. They are odds-on in places to turn over Villa but they bet here for me look like a draw at a more than respectable 5/2.
Betting: Draw at 5/2 (bet 365)
Everton v Watford
The Toffees are expected to roll over a Watford side who most experts anticipate will be whipping boys this season. In Troy Deeney however the Hornets have a striker who will be a handful for any defence this season and the burly ex-con gets by vote at 3/1 to open his goal scoring account for the season at Goodison.
Betting: Deeney to score anytime at 3/1 (Stan James)
Leicester v Sunderland
Both of these teams are expected to struggle this season and I can see why many are tipping up The Black Cats at 9/4 to be relegated. They have lost Connor Wickham and their transfer dealings generally have been wholly uninspiring so I’m not sure whether ‘The Little General’ Dick Advocaat has made the right decision to stay on Wearside. Claudio Ranieri was the surprising choice to succeed Nigel Pearson and while the Italian probably won’t get aggressive with journalists or call anyone an ‘ostrich’, he does love a tinker and for me is a massive gamble to get it right at Leicester. I don’t expect this game to linger long in the memory and am quite convinced that at least one of the combatants will fail to find the net.
Betting: Both teams to score – No at 20/23 (Bet Victor)
Norwich v Crystal Palace
In stark contrast I do feel there will be a few goals at Carrow Road, where Patrick Bamford could be worth nibbling to score first. The Chelsea youngster was a revelation on loan at Middlesbrough last season and his movement and energy will definitely causes defences some problems this term.
Betting: Bamford to score first at 9/1 (Boylesports)
Chelsea v Swansea
The champions are heavy odds on to start their 2015/16 campaign with a win and I don’t see Swansea causing what would be a seismic shock at Stamford Bridge on week one. The Blues have not set the world alight in the transfer market this summer – unlike some of their rivals – but Don Jose obviously has faith in his current crop who will again be the team to beat (provided John Terry doesn’t suddenly get old overnight). Thibaut Cortois kept 13 clean sheets in 32 league matches last season so the 11/10 about Chelsea winning this without shipping any looks a cracking punt.
Betting: Chelsea to win to nil at 11/10 (Stan James)
Arsenal v West Ham
I napped Chelsea for the league last season on these very pages but this time round my dough is going on Arsenal. I’ve had a flamboyant £100 at 11/2 and am hoping against hope that Mr Wenger can entice Karim Benzema to north London before transfer deadline day. The Gunners should be way too classy for West Ham, a team they have beaten in each of their past 10 meetings. Alexis Sanchez may not feature after returning to full training with the squad on Thursday but Theo Walcott is fully revved up and ‘The Newbury Express’ should be backed at odds-against to get among the goals here.
Betting: Walcott to score anytime at 15/13 (Bet Bright)
Newcastle v Southampton
There will be a full house on Tyneside and there should be a bit of optimism around the place given that Newcastle have made a few significant signings this season. However Southampton have looked impressive in pre-season and might just be a bit fitter and mentally switched on than their Geordie counterparts so I fancy an away win here and TV cameras cutting away to various obese Toon fans spitting bits of pie out while screaming obscenities in the general direction of their rotund ruler Mike Ashley.
Betting: Southampton to win at 17/10 (bet365)
Stoke City v Liverpool
Stoke famously battered Liverpool 6-1 in Stevie Gerrard’s final Premier League game last season and if you fancy a repeat you can get odds of 500/1. That’s roughly the same price as me going out on the pots and pans this weekend and coming home to have wild sex with Kate Winslet after meeting her in a Hartlepool kebab shop. In short, both are unlikely but I reckon Hills’ 10/11 quote that both teams find the old onion bag at the Britannia rates as arguably the most solid bet of the weekend.
Betting: Both teams to score at 10/11 (Hills)