Gossip: Bonucci, Van Gaal and some dreadful Bale guff

Date published: Friday 23rd September 2016 9:10

Leonardo Bonucci

GUARDIOLA WANTS BONUCCI IN JANUARY
We start with an actual transfer story, which is as rare as rocking horse sh*t during the month of September. I know you’ll all be very unimpressed, but it comes from the Daily Star. Beggars can’t be choosers, and you’re all begging for piping hot gossip.

The Star say that Pep Guardiola is planning on buying Leonardo Bonucci in January, as a response to Vincent Kompany’s latest injury. That makes all kind of sense, given that Bonucci is one of the best central defenders in world football.

Gael Clichy did try and alleviate concerns over Kompany’s latest knock, saying: “I don’t think it’s something big, I hope not. He told me he was OK and I hope he is because he has been out for a long time and this club needs their captain. Hopefully it will be just a matter of days and he will be back soon.”

But how long for, dear Gael? How long for?

 

VAN GAAL TO GET THE BREMEN JOB
That’s pretty much it for transfer news, unless you count Manchester United and Milan both battling for Isco in a news story that doesn’t even mention United? No, us neither.

Instead we’ll go to the wacky world of managerial appointments, and rumours that Louis van Gaal is about to get the Werder Bremen gig. Do they like sideways passing in Bremen? Are they demanding talk of philosophies? Do they too want to see a football manager display his testicles?

Viktor Skrypnyk lost his job at Bremen earlier this week, presumably for hogging all the consonants. The Hamburger Abendblatt says that Van Gaal is the favourite for the gig, which is nice.

 

BALE ANGRY. OH WHATEVER.
“Enraged” Gareth Bale has instructed his agent to court Manchester United after falling out with Real Madrid’s hierarchy, according to a report in Spain. A Real insider told Diario Gol: “Bale was enraged. He was scowling.”

Spanish news outlet Diario Gol claim Bale is so upset with Florentino Perez and Zinedine Zidane that he has asked his representative Jonathan Barnett to “sound out” United and the possibility of a return to the Prem…

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Just no.

 

AND THE REST
If there were any ‘rest’ it would have gone in the above sections instead of what is actually there. Okay, Tony Pulis says that West Brom won’t be signing Marouane Chamakh on a free transfer. Are you happy now?

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