A tip to The Sun’s social media desk: If you have a WORLD EXCLUSIVE, maybe check what you’ve written. £800 a week? Bargain.
As you’ve surely heard by now, Shaun Custis and Martin Lipton of The Sun have big transfer news, which is handy. They claim Manchester City are going to entice Lionel Messi to the Premier League with an £800k-a-week contract.
Aside from the fact that, coupled with a price tag of at least £120million, the whole idea of such a deal is batsh*t mental, it sounds plausible. Our favourite line, undoubtedly, is this:
‘With Neymar and Luis Suarez starring during his recent injury, Messi fears he may be surplus to requirements.’
The best player in the world ‘fears he may be surplus to requirements’. Goodness me.
And another thing, this time to The Sun’s clever little photoshoppers: If you’re going to do a mock-up of Messi in a Manchester City kit, at least change Sergio Aguero’s tattoos.
PEP TALKS WITH CITY
Sticking at the Etihad, and The Guardian have whacking big news; Pep Guardiola has agreed to take over at Manchester City in the summer.
Their reports come from respected Spanish radio station Cadena COPE, who report that Guardiola is looking for a ‘change of scenery’ upon the expiration of his contract at Bayern Munich next summer. Pep would like to ‘fulfill one of his wishes’ and manage in England, and so City, who continue with their attempt at becoming Barcelona-lite, are the most likely candidates.
CHELSEA WANT VARDY AND DEMBELE
And back to the transfer window, which has officially eaten itself.
According to the Daily Mirror, Chelsea want Leicester striker Jamie Vardy and Spurs midfielder Mousa Dembele in a £40million ‘DOUBLE SWOOP’. They’re both 28, Vardy has had half an admittedly excellent season, and Dembele has only recently found the form he lost three years ago. Neither Leicester and Spurs will be too keen to sell, either.
There isn’t an awful lot of analysis necessary to deem it all poppycock. Now watch Chelsea sign them both in January and make us look like goons.
AND THE REST
Chelsea could make a January move for former Blackburn striker Nikola Kalinic…Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is targeting Bayer Leverkusen midfielder Lars Bender ahead of Sporting Lisbon’s William Carvalho…Bournemouth are plotting the £6m transfer of Crystal Palace striker Dwight Gayle in January…Steven Gerrard believes Liverpool should have signed Spurs midfielder Dele Alli as his replacement…Sam Allardyce expects Sunderland to be involved in “minimal” transfer activity during January but has refused to rule out selling Jermain Defoe…Steve McClaren has warned Newcastle’s board he cannot guarantee Premier League survival unless there is a major shift in the club’s transfer policy…Sir Alex Ferguson could play an important part in convincing Cristiano Ronaldo to return to Manchester United, according to reports in Spain.