MOURINHO TO UNITED PART 427: THE WAR CHEST
Someone please just announce Jose Mourinho as manager of Manchester United. Please. No ‘reports’, no ‘agreed deals’, just him signing a ruddy deal. We’ll do anything. Just announce him and end all of this.
We plead for this to happen because the Daily Star are the latest outlet to provide news of Mourinho’s transfer plans at Old Trafford. This despite the Portuguese being out of work, Louis van Gaal being the current manager of United, and the Dutchman looking like he could actually save his job come May.
This has not stopped Jack Wilson. He brings us the EXCLUSIVE that Mourinho will have £300million to spend. It is a pretty much foolproof exclusive, as it can be claimed to be true providing United don’t spend more than £300million this summer, which they patently won’t.
What will Mourinho spend this ‘massive war chest’ on? The first name Wilson mentions is Zlatan Ibrahimovic. That’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the Paris Saint-Germain striker who is out of contract this summer. Are we including wages in that ‘war chest’?
‘As well as Ibrahimovic, Neymar, Edinson Cavani, Thomas Muller, Paul Pogba and Raphael Varane could be all be targeted,’ writes Wilson. They could be all be indeed. But they certainly be won’t be.
As an aside, the headline looks a little familiar: ‘EXCLUSIVE: Jose Mourinho given £300m to spend at Man Utd after signing deal.’ On February 11, Jeremy Cross of the Daily Star brought us this story: ‘EXCLUSIVE: Jose Mourinho to be given £300m to spend at Man United.’
‘Kasper Schmeichel is a shock target for Barcelona,’ Mike McGrath of The Sun reports. ‘No, he really, really isn’t,’ everyone else replies.
With back-up keeper Marc-Andre ter Stegen set to leave Camp Nou this summer, Barcelona are on the search for a replacement. McGrath tells us that baby Schmeichel is being targeted in a £15million move.
Schmeichel is good. He has had an excellent season, which could be capped off with a Premier League winner’s medal. But he is 29. He has two years left on his contract at the King Power Stadium. There are better goalkeepers in Spain, never mind the rest of Europe. Barcelona will look elsewhere.
McGrath also mentions Barcelona’s interest in Fraser Forster. Stop it.
BYE BYE BALO
Some good news for Liverpool now: Mario Balotelli might be sticking around in Italy.
The striker revealed earlier this month that he does not wish to return after his loan spell at AC Milan expires in the summer. It is now very much looking like a probability that he will get his wish.
The delightfully named Rory Brigstock-Barron brings us news of Balotelli’s future for the Daily Mail. He reports that Milan ‘want to keep Balotelli’, and will meet up with Liverpool soon to discuss a deal. La Gazzetta dello Sport claim all parties are open to the resolution of the striker staying in Italy. Reds manager Jurgen Klopp ‘does not see him as part of his plans’ at Anfield.
One of the options for Milan is to extend Balotelli’s loan deal into another season. The 25-year-old’s wages could prove a stumbling block for a permanent move.
AND THE REST
Everton have already drawn up a shortlist of replacements for under-fire boss Roberto Martinez…Tottenham will make another attempt to sign 22-year-old West Brom striker Saido Berahino in the summer. Spurs had four bids rejected for Berahino last year…Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere, 24, will be in England’s Euro 2016 squad, even though his six-minute substitute appearance on Sunday against Sunderland was the first time he has played this season.