Jurgen Klopp: A collective bumming

Date published: Saturday 10th October 2015 12:40

Jurgen Klopp Ian Ayre Liverpool Football365

From ‘charismatic Indie Jesus’ to ‘SuperKlopp’ and ‘the Messiah’, the national newspapers are already busy swooning over Jurgen Klopp.

Appointed on a three-year deal on Thursday, Jurgen Klopp had already captivated the baying press and public by Friday morning. The new Liverpool manager spoke of the fans, the squad and the future before impressing during his first press conference as boss. Some in the media were a little too impressed, perhaps…

From being described as a ‘madcap manager’ by Phil Thomas of The Sun, to being referred to as ‘Sheriff Jurgen’ by the Daily Mirror‘s David Maddock, the collective bumming of Klopp has undoubtedly begun. Paul Hayward’s Daily Telegraph headline of ‘German’s Messiah routine evokes memories of Clough’ was a particular highlight, but among the worst culprits was Steven Howard.

In his piece for The Sun, Howard had described Klopp as ‘Mr Charming’ and ‘Mr Charisma’ within his first two paragraphs. Descriptions as ‘the magnetic German’, the ‘miracle worker’ and ‘Superman, SuperKlopp’ soon followed, but that does little justice to the actual article. Here are some excerpts in all their unadulterated and unedited glory.

‘The whole place had been rocking since Klopp landed at John Lennon airport the previous evening. “Just how surreal is that?” asked the man whose middle names are Heavy and Metal. Even more surreal was the fact it would have been Lennon’s 75th birthday yesterday.’

‘Emerging from a battery of flashbulbs to take his place on the top table, alongside Liverpool chief exec Ian Ayre, the only surprise was Klopp’s feet were still on the ground – not floating above it.’

‘He looked at the motley collection of newspapermen around him, smiled and said: “People have told me all about the British press. It’s up to you to show they’re all lairs”. Then he held out his hand, palm upwards. And there was I – along with the rest of them – in the middle of it. Its not fair.’

Someone needs a cold shower. Including the Daily Mirror‘s Chief Sports Writer Dave Kidd, who announces that ‘Klopptomania’ has taken over because of the ‘charismatic Indie Jesus’.

Over to The Sun now. ‘There was no hocus-pocus about philosophy…” begins Robbie Savage in his column. We assume Robbie missed Klopp talking about his ‘philosophy’ in his first interview as manager, but we’ll leave that there.

Instead, we’ll move on to the rest of Savage’s piece. ‘Mr Marmite’ goes on to point out Liverpool’s lack of “wow” players and how, without adding ‘at least four’ more, the Reds will not be Champions League contenders. Not only that, Robbie, presumably picking remnants of a strawman from his hair by this point, says Liverpool ‘are nowhere near winning the title’.

The collective nature of this bumming ran true on two particular points, however. The first was Klopp ‘laying down the law’ – or a variable of such – which was described by the Daily Mail, the Daily Express, the Daily Mirror, the Daily TelegraphThe Sun and The Guardian.

But it was Klopp’s use of his hands which seems to have captivated the national press, with the German extremely animated during his first press conference:

 

‘jabbed his finger down on the table’ – Phil Joyce, Daily Express

‘jabbed a finger on the table’ – Martin Samuel, Daily Mail

‘jabbing his finger on the table and clapping his hands’ – Phil Thomas, The Sun

‘jabbed the table to emphasise his point’ – Chris Bascombe, Daily Telegraph

‘[jabs finger on table]’ – Daniel Taylor, The Guardian

‘using his hands to express the depth of his feelings’ – Simon Hughes, The Independent

‘thumped his fist on the table’ – Dave Kidd, Daily Mirror

 

What did the Daily Mirror‘s Chief Sports Writer Dave Kidd see that everyone else didn’t? Also, credit to Simon Hughes of The Independent for going against the almost unanimous tide and playing it safe.

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