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Who would actually win that fight?
Seeing as it’s Friday…how would a fight between Jose and Arsene go?
The bout would start at a frantic pace with lefts and rights thrown faster than Stoke fans heading to the exit after another drubbing. Gradually, Wenger’s superior strength would show through. Jose would get that, “I can’t beat this guy!” look in his eyes after another slam to the canvas.
Just when you think it’s over, just when Wenger is about to pick up the pitiful Portuguese from the mat to administer his finisher, we see Mourinho’s true colours.
A low blow to the minerals has Arsene knock-kneed, giving The Special One time to recover. A thumb to the eye and Wenger is screaming like Frank Dux in Bloodsport. “I did not seeee!” mocks Jose, as he circles the Frenchman.
Wenger knows that this is the April of the fight, time to turn it around with one last push. Raising his arms in a Jesus Christ Pose, with the hostile crowd taunting him, he becomes immune to all blows. The fightback begins.
Jose is stunned and again it looks like he’s set for defeat. Arsene grabs him by the hair, pulls him to his feet: “Who’s a specialist now?” Mourinho is pleading, but it’s all an act.
What’s this? A trick up an Iberian sleeve, that’s what. It seems that before the match Jose instructed Diego Costa to hide under the ring with a steel chair. The crowd, impressed by Arsene’s recovery, tries to warn him, but Arsene knows best. He is savouring the moment of victory when a sickening shot to the head peals out through the arena. Costa doesn’t even smile. Sir Alex, commentating on the match, posits: “He could have killed him!” Mourinho hugs Costa and calls him a good boy, sprawls over the unconscious Wenger, and Clattenburg counts it – 1, 2, 3.
Liam Smilie (All aboard the Zenga bus), Banbury
Maybe Toure is to blame
Re the piece on Yaya Toure by Matt Stead, I was really enjoying it and nodding along with every summation of Yaya’s incredible contribution to my club and his freakish all round ability. That was until the penultimate paragraph.
He is being “tarred with the same brush as Seluk” because they are one and the same! It’s naive in the extreme for anyone to think that Seluk’s words are not only endorsed by Yaya but they’re provided by him as well. Granted Seluk gives it his own whiffy brand of bullsh*t with the way he spins it but be under no illusions Seluk spits the bile that he does because Yaya allows him to. Beraying Toure? Dignified silence? More like Yaya fuelling the fire!
On numerous occasions throughout his City career Yaya could have nipped in the bud every media rant by his, let’s be honest, absolute weirdo of an “agent” but chose not to time after time after time. We’e had “Cakegate”, posturing for new contracts on numerous occasions, and the sick claim that we wouldn’t allow Yaya compassionate leave to see his dying brother to name a few. It has now gotten to the point where the player who has dragged us to most of our recent success cannot be moved on quick enough. And it is so sad.
This latest outburst is the final shootout after a Mexican standoff this summer where it was clear to everyone that Yaya was surplus to requirements but he wants to leave on his terms. No pay cuts (deifnitely no pay cuts!!!), no average clubs, no being told what to do. But having seen the way he played for City last season (that CL semi final display was nothing short of a disgrace) and the wages he picks up from us I’m not surprised he had no takers.
With neither side blinking I believe Guardiola has finally had enough and is forcing the issue. It’s no coincidence that Yaya simultaneously broke the news of his international retirement on the same day Pep called his agent out, it screams “I’m available in January, if anyone will have me”.
Yaya and his agent have been poison at our club for two years and have been allowed to get away with it, I can’t tell you how happy I am that they’re being called out on it!
Mark (don’t let the door hit you on your ample arse on the way out) M32 Blue
Matt Stead’s article on Yaya Toure’s legacy is interesting, but I refuse to believe that all we’re witnessing is Seluk going rogue. Maybe, just maybe, Yaya Toure is the source of his agent’s ramblings. Maybe a player is…I don’t know… talking through his agent.
Yaya described the cake thing as “a little joke”…really? Now that just reminds me of all the times that I have accidentally upset my (apparently long suffering) wife and then claimed it was “a little joke” when the aftermath got a little uncomfortable. This isn’t Yaya stepping in to cool the debate, it’s him trying to dig himself out of trouble.
“His dignified silence throughout the controversy should be noted”…really? His silence while the man he pays to talk on his behalf actually does some, well, talking on his behalf is supposed to be some indicator of Yaya’s innocence?
Pep understands what MS doesn’t– that when Seluk opens his mouth, Yaya speaks.
Is Rooney the leaker?
Surely Rooney is the one “leaking” information to the press? A guy on 300k or so a week who’s been finished as an elite level player for two years and probably knows no other elite level club will take him wants to protect his status as the most important man in one of the world’s most prestigious clubs when no longer can claim it on merit. Moyes makes him the highest paid player in the world and LVG proclaims he will start every game for him. Those lads got a few months of bad results before the dressing room unrest stories appeared. Mourhino says he has no problem dropping Rooney and the stories emerge after the very first, week long, bad patch. A story about the new guy, the world’s most expensive player with a load of hype around him and expectations of leading the club forward as its new global face, being distant from the squad emerges as well. I think that sealed it as Rooney for me.
Rooney needs to go. His pursuit and protection of his own self interests are harming the team both directly with his on field performances and indirectly with his attempts at undermining the leadership of it. Milan have Chinese money now. It’d be just swell if someone in the club could give them a call.
Eriksen > Coutinho
The football365 poll of who is the best no.10 in the league is a fair poll and De Bruyne out in front at this current time is absolutely correct, we can have the Ozil debate all day but 12% Coutinho and only 5% for Eriksen, really?? Was it K from Men in Black that said “A person is smart, people are dumb, panicky dangerous animals”
Simon, West Lothian
Viva David Pleat
In response to Franco (Congrats on completing 20 years at Arsenal Mr. Wenger) Goa I have to take issue with his view that the way teams set up in midfield changed in 2005. Perhaps I’m just being an old grump but this is another example of people not knowing their football history pre Champions League and Premier League.
I distinctly remember David Pleat’s Tottenham team in 1986-87 setting up with the 49 goal Clive Allen as the lone striker being supported by Chris Waddle and Paul Allen on the wings with Glenn Hoddle as the playmaker and Ossie Ardiles and Steve Hodge playing behind him.
Was David Pleat ahead of his time???
“I’m happy with life outside of the game right now and enjoying media work”
I think I can speak on behalf of the entire football viewership (barring a few Man U extremists and the hard of hearing) when I say we do not enjoy your media work.
For a man who could turn on a sixpence as a footballer you really have a tedious turn of phrase.
Oh and that monotone voice.
Think of the fans and ask for the Swansea job.
H (looking forward to Gabriel and Costa kicking 100 levels of cr@p out of each other)
Worth breaking Wenger’s face for
Juan Mata certainly does things to my blood flow.
Jon (straight, allegedly), Boston
Two pieces of gold on your website today.
Firstly, the line that Viktor Skrypnyk lost his job at Bremen for hogging all the consonants is as funny aline as I’ve read in a while. The first of my lunchtime F365 page views tends to be the Gossip page (followed by Mediawatch,F635 Features, Mails then the rest of the ‘Most Read’ section!)… so it was a wonderful start.
Secondly, I thought the Matt Stead piece on Yaya was spot on. I’d like to think the F365 fan base will be the type to remember Yaya the world-class player, not the agent-influenced supposed diva.
I did think the Terry Butcher assessment was a tad harsh on someone who was a fine player and who to me comes across as a seemingly decent guy, even for a PFM. Other than that, fine work F365!
Graeme (Viktor Skrypnyk…lol), Glasgow
If we are having one sexy goal/pass per mailbox, please can I urge you to put this Lima goal in vs. Sporting from 2 years ago. Absolutely brilliant play from Gaitan and a superb placed volley finish from Lima.
The more I watch, the better it gets
Benji (Benfiquista desde pequenino)