Mails: Even Klopp cannot polish a turd – yet

Date published: Friday 23rd October 2015 9:21

If you have anything to add on any subject, you know what to do – mail


Even Klopp can’t polish this turd, but he will eventually
I won’t lie I was half expecting a mini revolution from Klopp coming in. I had half imagined that he knew he was coming and had been watching our games carefully and already had a genius plan of how to fit our three number 10s, and two good strikers into one dandy formation that would make us score goals of great beauty and poop tulips and dandelions.

Sadly it turns out our sh*t still stinks, and a lot of what was sh*t still seemed to appear in the form of Joe Allen in the first half. I admire his guts in growing a beard to make him look a bit like Pirlo but I think the Welsh Xavi should remove the beard soon to protect the reputation of the beard nationwide; you’ve got to be hiding some genius under that much fur to get away with it.

The simple truth is that you don’t solve the anaemic creativity issues from which we are suffering overnight. Lallana doesn’t suddenly learn when one touch, not twenty, will be enough. Milner doesn’t transform into anything other than a very diligent and hard working grafter. And Henderson doesn’t magically heal. In truth if Rodgers were still in charge we would probably have looked sh*te until January and then gone ten games unbeaten so I’m pretty relaxed to write off the first month or two because it wouldn’t have been any better under Rodgers. At least now it feels like the start of something progressive rather than a slow grind backwards into territory we thought we had passed.
Minty, LFC


You know when you inadvertently look at the sun or some t*sser in a club takes a snap and you get the sunspot on your retina. You blink and blink until eventually the image scorched on your retina fades?

Well that’s us. And I blame the charlatans teeth. It’s going to take KloppMesiter a while and lots of blinking to get rid of Mr Veneers’ imprint on this team.

The stench from the unrelenting stream of heferdust will linger a while longer I imagine. After all; this is a team who have been told time and time again that they’re outstanding. When undoubtedly they’re not. Yet.
Gregory Whitehead, LFC


Jolly Rodgers
Surely after two draws, one goal and no wins his job is in danger.

Klopp’s Kop was leaving in droves before the final whistle, an obvious indicment of his tenure at the club.

He seems to have lost the dressing room. Christian Benteki couldn’t have missed those chances without an ulterior motive of getting rid of the manager

The press can’t be bothered coming up with new headlines anymore knowing he is a dead man walking. Klopp’s this and Klopp’s that is their limit. Some even missing out the apostrophe, showing their disdain.

Good talk, bad results. Bye Bye Mr Klopp, you’ve had your chance
Brenda Roger


Drawing with Spurs and not winning the league last weekend was bad enough but drawing last night and also failing to lift the Europa League Trophy was the straw that broke the camels back. I’ve had enough… #Kloppout
Mark (joking of course – Klopp in a suit last night – smart lad!) LFC


Arsenal v Liverpool
As some Liverpool fans took it upon themselves to try and put down the achievement of Arsenal on Tuesday, it seems only fitting to analyse their own performance from an Arsenal fans point of view. What a sorry show this side is! A team with such lofty (some would say misplaced) ambitions who can’t even muster the same number of shots on target as a ‘dominated’ Arsenal…. you aren’t even in the same league! (Pun intended). 3x the possession against 10, not equivalent to Bayern’s men, is shameful, but that’s the level you’re at, and Klopp is laughing all the way to the bank! He earns more than Wenger don’t you know, and for what exactly? That? Should have gone for Big Sam and saved a few quid FSG.
Leo (Bayern had a lot of shots off target as well… so you’re actually at their level…. right?) London, AFC.


A simple request
Right can we ask all media to stop referring to them as Klopps Liverpool and Klopps Kop now? I think we know who is the manager by now…sweet Jesus.


Rooney and tennis
Well it’s Friday and as we head into derby weekend I have found a genius way for Van Gaal to sort out the mess with our team. No more need to shunt Martial out wide nor keep out best attacker in Herrera on the bench so he can accomodate “the captain”.

Somewhere in the book there should be pages that talk on how the ‘philosophy’ has been used in other sports and what interests us is the tennis section. it will remind of non-playing captains thus for the first time this season we may see a selection of eleven merited players whilst the captain is twelfth and will be playing his mediation role via the fourth official. I believe players aren’t limited to the funny technical areas as coaches are.

That’s my two cents
faffie (my blood is United red) Hre, Zw


You utter Schweins
When Schweini signed for United, I mailed in pointing out how we was the most German looking man of all time.

Patrick Chan agrees.
Girish (take that Muller fan-boys), AFC, Chennai


Kane is able, so pound Sterling
Your abuse of Harry Kane is really starting to grate. Seriously the lad has only just come through the youth team and he’s already getting patronising articles hinting that probably he won’t amount to much and then this is compounded by comparing him to Marcus Stewart. He was only on for half an hour yesterday but your headline still referred to him failing. Was this because of his punnable name? Seriously, strikers dip in confidence. They normally are benched so they can sort themselves out and come back better (see Giroud). It’s hardly Kane’s fault Tottenham didn’t invest in anybody else.

Kane has done ok by the way. He still makes nice touches, links the play and holds the ball up better than any other striker in the league. But yes, we get it, his finishing has become very average.

You all clearly love Sterling. Each to their own. You pleaded for time with him despite nearly a year of him being thoroughly inept (and only half a season at the beginning of 2013 when he was really good) and then jumped at the chance to gush over him when he finally actually did something really positive last weekend. Storey’s love letter in winners and losers was embarrasing to read. It seems you have fallen for Brendan’s hyperbole. It is clear from interviews and substitutions that Pellegrini is not overly inspired. I digress. Ny point is why is Sterling’s generally appalling final product ignored as something that will get better with age, while with Kane this dip is regarded as the norm. Personally I suspect as Sterling’s pace goes he will become thoroughly worthless with age.
Howard D


You’re all losers, FYI
Following the mail from RQT (MUFC) castigating Winners and Losers for their perceived bias I’m moved to ask isn’t it a little sad to write in to a football website just to whinge about the fact your team wasn’t given sufficient praise in a wholly arbitrary article based on one bloke’s opinion that’s clearly meant to be entertaining rather than in-depth analysis, especially considering the binary nature of Winner or Loser?
Simon CFC


Wherefore art thou, Thiago?
While touting the next FIFA Ballon D’or from the next generations of players, often players like Griezmann, Pogba and Neymar are mentioned, but I am always left wondering how Thiago Alcantara gets left out of that list almost always. I mean the guy is just awesome. The passing range of a Paul Scholes, and the finesse of a Bergkamp. Whenever I have seen him play, he’s been sumptuous, a step-over (past a player), a body swerve (past another) and then a dink over the Center Backs for the Mullers and Lewendoskis of the world.

I am also surprised as to how Barca don’t get as much stick as Man United (comparing the case of Paul Pogba) for letting him leave for Bayern Munich.

Last year during the Champions League games against Porto and Barcelona, I think he was their best player, and in a team that had Alonso, Muller, Lahm and Lewendoski, tells it’s own story.
Soumalya (Want F365 to do a top ten for the next gen Ballon D’or probables) MUFC


Fantasy Football laments
I must make a confession – in what has been the biggest evidence of big club bias since Tom Cleverly become an England regular whilst a Man Utd player – I have stuck with Wayne Rooney since day one in my fantasy team. Callum Wilson, who I fancied to be the Charlie Austin of his era was ditched having failed to score at home against Villa in the opener only to score a hattrick games later, yet I’ve stuck with Shrek knowing that he’s a spurter (Ed – there goes our breakfast), thinking that once I drop him he’ll shine. He has finally scored, all be it the last in a three nil rout yet I cant bring myself to drop him – Do I really know more than LVG?

Has anyone else displayed this level of foolishness in their own fantasy team? I cant even slot Vardy in as I’ve reached my Leicester limit!
Brian The Belfast Gooner (awaiting the vote of confidence from team Brian Munich)


Last word on Batigol
Pfffft, he’s just a poor mans Dario Hubner.
Drew Peacock – MUFC, Manchester


Get well soon, Johan
‎Get well soon Johan. The man who invented the mother of all dummies – the Cruyff turn.

Hey F365 you know what to do. A Cruyff article too.
Smith (‘Mediawatch is the only one in this city allowed to refer to itself in the third person’. That made me chuckle)

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