Mails: In which someone uses the Fawlty Towers defence

If you have anything to add, you know where we are: theeditor@football365.com

 

The Fawlty Towers defence
Great performance by England last night, nice to see Doug Livermore and Keane have good games. Twas however the shape of the team which made so much sense. Lovely.

Here’s my opinion on the songs in the crowd and guess what? It doesn’t follow the false outrage narrative so you can at least print both sides of the argument for balance…

Football and sport in general is not “meant” to do or be anything. It is just a pointless hobby to pass the time in life before we reach death. Any attributes that you assign to it is entirely subjective to you trying to prove that your own opinion is right.

Football in itself doesn’t mean anything, so why do the people who follow it get so pissed off with their own fans? Just because it’s about the war? Well, have you seen Fawlty Towers? Are you aware of the British culture of fun? Are you all aware that we laugh off serious things?

All those trying to find a reason to get outraged should simply look in the mirror. There is no sense in trying to pretend that you are some kind of moral authority because you are just as hypocritical as everyone else, Mr Storey. After a fantastic performance for England, you just had to “rate the crowd” didn’t you?

You just couldn’t keep your moral outrage in check. Is “rating the players” not a thing any more? Should it not be called “rating anything I want to lose my shit over”?

Storey and those who agree with the outrage really should try and expunge some of that sand from their vaginas, it’s really quite embarrassing. I guess you can’t lose your shit over the team this time so someone has to bear the brunt of your negativity. Pathetic.
Fat Man Scouse, EFC

 

England really weren’t that great
Well, I hate to p*ss on everyone’s proverbial chips but were we watching the same game? All I have heard since the final whistle is how well England played and how tight they looked. Lets be honest, they lost the game and they failed to score against the worst Germany team I have ever seen (who were playing a testimonial).

Best summed up thus – on 70-odd minutes Southgate brought on Dabmeister General Jessie, on 76 minutes Lowe brought on Thomas Muller.

Still, no doubt they will cruise past a tough, plucky Liechtenstein side and Hoddle will wet himself again (honestly, that commentary…).

Well done Podolski for a thunderbastard send-off, and well done Michael Keane for a solid performance. Aside from that, it looked like two bang average teams (one of which was trying, the other of which was Germany) playing out a Sunday league match.
Stu AFC (It’s my birthday, you have to print me) Wrexham

 

Dear Mr Rooney…
You’d be well advised to follow Herr Podolski’s example; score a screamer against the old enemy and get a Gladiatoresque exit.
The Flan, North London (Zola Out).

 

Transfers for the summer…
I have no statistics to back up anything that I will say from now on, and I appreciate this just feels like writing an article for MailOnline, but I’ve been thinking about some intriguing transfers in the Premier League that I’d like to see this summer:

1. Romelu Lukaku to Man Utd. A quality finisher. Pace and power. It just feels like he would give Utd that strike-power for more than a couple of seasons, which beats their last few signings up top (hello RVP and Ibrahimovic)

2. Joe Hart To Everton. Joel Robles is a decent goalkeeper, but I get the impression he does not instil confidence across the backline. I get the feeling that Joe Hart will be looking for a new home and he might not fancy relocating too far. It feels like a perfect match.

3. Michael Keane to Everton. As great a servant as Phil Jagielka has been for Everton, and Funes Mori does have his moments, I get the feeling that Koeman will be looking to get some fresh faces in the squad this summer. Michael Keane has looked pretty darn solid for Burnley as well, so it feels like another winner.

4. Calum Chambers to West Ham. As a Boro fan I’ve been able to see him a little closer this year and I must admit he just needs a decent run at CB. West Ham leak goals and I don’t think Jose Fonte made any sense at all. A cheeky £7m bid and I think Calum could be rocking up in East London in July.

5. Ben Gibson to Man Utd. Yep, as a Boro fan I might be slightly biased here but hear me out. Young Mr Gibson is a great communicator and leader at CB, and it’s those characteristics that I feel Utd are missing. Smalling and Jones are a little too “dramatic” and probably add to Jose’s defence-first mindset at times. I get the impression Gibson and Mourinho would be like Terry and Mourinho, but with less of the d*ck moves.

6. Fabian Delph to West Brom. He might not be a centre-half and he might not be 6 foot 3, but Tony Pulis loves a midfielder with an engine and I suspect fabulous Fab (I doubt he’ll be supporting that name) would love some regular playing time. Would he be happy to move to a mid-table team? Who knows…

Some quality work right there.
Phil, London

 

Wilshere for United?
There seems to be a general consensus that Jack Wilshere will be ‘outtie’ this summer and both Arsenal fans and non- seem to exude the feeling he won’t command more than 30-40m at maximum. Jose Mourinho…are you listening?

Given that Luca Modric and Toni Kroos are delusional to hope for, can United really do much worse than Jack The Lad for the Michael Carrick problem? He’s not an incredibly similar player but, like Carrick, has a great passing range and defends tactically as opposed to ‘getting about the pitch’. With the correct coaching, can he make for the deep-lying playmaker United need? In Herrera, United have a midfielder who adapts to whatever role is needed to compliment his fellow midfielders; Pogba is going to continue to adapt his game but will be allowed to play on the left of a midfield three, supposedly his best position. If Carrick is kept on for one more season, as a player or even a coach, maybe Jack can realize his long-term future while Jose delivers another FU to Arsenal.

I’m not saying it’s a great idea…just asking if it’s worth exploring. Surely Wilshere’s season at Bournemouth playing as a number 10 will prove to be counterproductive, as he’ll never replace Ozil as Arsenal’s number 10 nor can you see any other top-six team needing a number 10 (Barkley being sold, aside). I also don’t think Jose’s a good enough (or at least, has proven enough) coach to mould a center midfielder? But then again…would Wilshere for 40m really be a bigger gamble than Bakayako/Rabiot/Saul Niguez/Fabinho/whoever else at 50-60m?
EMUFC

 

Or Dier?
It won’t happen as he’s English, at Spurs, under contract until 2021, and therefore as unaffordable as only a Daniel Levy player can be in those circumstances, but Eric Dier would be a great replacement for Carrick.
Chris, MUFC

 

But Arsenal won’t really sell anybody
The problem with everyone saying who Arsenal should sell are forgetting one thing. Wenger has said in the past he will only make 2-3 changes a summer as it unbalances the squad. So we will lose Ozil and Sanchez and replace them with players that are their equal. But, as ever with Arsenal we go round in a circle never improving or never improving as much as the other top sides ☹️.

I feel we are in a situation like the UK and Europe. Needing to split but being in too deep to make it work successfully
Geoff – depressed Gooner

 

Everton for fourth please
Yes, Everton going on a good run and getting that fourth spot would be the best option.

I’ll go with that one. That and I couldn’t bring myself to vote for any of the other three. Was WBA an option?
TX Bill (we’ll still get tonked in the derby) EFC