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In defence of the Lukaku song
Whilst reading about the controversy surrounding the Lukaku song, it reminded me of an incident I had a few years ago. I was in a park, sat at the side of a large sandpit whilst my little girl ran around with other kids playing. I was sat with other parents watching and laughing and everyone was having a good time. My little one started to play with two black kids who were throwing sand at each other. There mother asked them to stop, as did I, as we didn’t want sand in eyes and the crying that comes with it. One of the lads flashed me a cheeky look and flicked a small bit of sand on my shoe and laughed. I laughed too and called him a cheeky little monkey as they all ran off giggling. There mother and I flashed each other the ‘kids eh’ look and laughed and got back to enjoying watching them play.
A good ten minutes later, a white lady approached me and asked for a word. She started to lecture me on how she was offended by my calling the boy a cheeky little monkey and how I need to be more racially sensitive and careful in future when using such phrases. Luckily for her there were kids around which stopped me from telling her exactly where she could stick her sanctimonious advice. I asked her why she was offended she told me that referring to a child of colour as a monkey is unacceptable and someone like me should not be around children if I have those kind of views. I managed to keep a lid on it and told her that I often called my little one a cheeky monkey and referring to any kid as a cheeky little monkey is aimed at there behaviour and that what she was inferring was more to do with her views and values and not mine and she shouldn’t judge people by her standards. Just before she was about to explode the lad’s mother stepped in and asked her to mind her own business and to take her concerns elsewhere as they weren’t needed here. To be honest, I was shocked that something so innocuous could cause offence and asked the lad’s mother if I had. She assured me I hadn’t and told me she thought people like that add to the problem rather than move things on.
I don’t know any guy, black, white or what ever colour you like, who would take offence at being told he had a large penis. I understand it was attributed to black men in the 70’s, but I don’t know about anyone else, but time has moved on and I don’t associate large penises with just black men anymore. Never did to be honest. I associate it as a generic symbol of manliness which when used is either as stupid or as serious as your point of view is. It comes from seeing Greek Gods with members the size of King Kong’s finger, old druid paintings with wangs longer than their legs, Inca Gods with nobs the size of rockets, blokes grabbing their crotches when coming over all blokey. When I read about the song I was expecting something specifically linking the fact he is black with the size of his cock but no, a lot of fuss about a man having a big penis who happens to be black. Because black men can’t have large penises without it being racist. Like the women who attacked me in the park, some people need to move on and stop judging people by their standards.
Offended of Old Trafford
I want to talk about the racist chants at Old Trafford. I am not going to talk about “a minority of fans” or that kind of bullsh*t. It’s a stain on all of Man Utd and we are all responsible (I’ve had a season ticket at OT for 9 years now) as fans. First of all, let me just say that the Lukaku chant is completely unacceptable and I hope no mailbox reader is going to justify it (banter is the lowest form of wit). What’s worrying is that most match-going fans are likely to laugh it off as banter and keep on singing it. Furthermore, I find it incredible that we are only talking about this now when Utd fans have chanted about the following in recent times, quite consistently too, each chant being either cringeworthy, offensive, racist or all of the above (I’m sure there are much more):
– Park Ji Sung, club legend, eating dogs (probably the most shocking and sung pretty consistently)
– Poor Liverpudlians eating from bins (poverty is funny, is it?)
– Liverpudlians eating rats in council houses
– Arsene Wenger being a paedophile (Really? This is the extent of your Arsenal banter? Paedophilia is a joke, is it?)
– Nemanja Vidic effing murdering you (Why? Is this the best way to celebrate possibly our greatest defender ever?)
Whoever said football is a beautiful game is having a laugh. The act of playing football might be beautiful at times, but football in general and especially football fandom is an ugly business. I might be alone in thinking this, but I am glad fans do not run clubs. I don’t know what the solution to combat this kind of hatred and racist ignorance is, because I could never speak out at the game (you can text a number at the game if you hear racist chants, but not sure what that would achieve). Education always helps, but it’s 2017 for god’s sake!
I would be interested in hearing about offensive chants at other stadiums, which seem to be accepted without any protest.
Monty (Fandom is the scourge of football), MUFC
I think Lukaku , if the song is to be believed , deserves a slap on the back after scoring all those goals when his legs are only two feet long.
I am surprised none of Everton’s number tens made the list? Gifi has to be a complete waste of money as his best position is number ten yet you knew from day one that Koeman would play him wide left. He struggled there for spurs and is best as a number ten. They also signed Klassan who plays there and Rooney as well.
Crazy stuff to spend 45m on a player and play him where he will have no impact on games.
PL’s best attack
Read in the mailbox someone kicking off about who they thought are the best attacking force in PL history.
Well if you put it into context with the attacking force at the time, can you really look further than Keegans Newcastle team?
Shearer (No.1 striker at the time); Ferdinand (reigning PFA player of the year)
Ginola; Beardsley; Asprilla; Gillespie; Rob Lee from midfield. Pick who you want to start.
Oh and they even had part-time striker Philippe Albert at centre-back marauding forward plus wanna be centre-forward Steve Watson at right back.
The Ginger Pirlo
…I’m sorry but isn’t the best premier league attack the one that scored the most goals & had the highest goal difference? I know it’s a boring answer but I feel Chelsea’s reputation of safety first counterattacking football means this glorious Ancelotti side gets forgotten. Drogba and Anelka playing off each other with Malouda flying in from the wing. Lamps even had a shot at the golden boot before Drogba’s final day hattrick. Chelsea’s first Fa cup, premier league double to boot.
3-0 spurs, 5-0 blackburn, 0-4 bolton, 4-0 wolves, 0-3 arsenal, 7-2 sunderland, 0-5 portsmouth, 7-1 aston villa, 7-0 stoke and finished it off by winning the title with an 8-0 wigan (finished with an Ashley Cole sweet sweet volley).
P.S this was when Malouda was John Barnes for a season
Saaj (Uncle Carlo’s eyebrow could do the tango on a cold wet Tuesday in Stoke) CFC
…The greatest attack in the PL? How about Pires, Ljungberg, Henry, Bergkamp, Wiltord (and later Reyes)? From 2000-2006, they were such a dominant force. 2 league titles (including the invincibles), 3 FA Cups, and 1 Champions’ league final does not do this attack justice.
In Henry, they had probably the greatest all around striker england had seen. Bergkamp added extra magic while Pires and Ljungberg added speed and silk. This was an all around attacking team that excelled in counter attack.
Graham Simons, Gooner, Norf London
Wright and wrong
Sanchez a luxury? Does Wrighty think Sanchez and Ozil are the same person?
In a tight match, such as that of the weekend, you need someone brilliant that can create something out of nothing.
While Sunday was a great game if Arsenal cannot replace Sanchez in the summer – I think we’re screwed.
Graham Simons, Gooner, Norf London
Cup half full
There appears to be some confusion as to Pochettino’s ambitions.
I don’t want Spurs to forfeit the League Cup or the FA Cup – that said, I’m not certain that is what Pochettino is saying; he is saying there is a list of priorities, the same priorities that I suspect all the managers in the CL have composed.
If he had of said “Tell you what; give Gary Doherty and Gregorz Rasiak a shout, we need them for the Barnsley match” then knickers could well be twisted but a team with Llorente, Son and almost certainly Vertonghen given his CL ban to name but three are hardly the sort of players one plays because he doesn’t give a toss.
…I’m a Wigan fan and I can confirm Kevin from Dublin is correct no Wigan Athletic fan would swap that win for premier league survival.
I could go on about Pochettino talking rubbish cause Spurs won’t win the league won’t win the champions league and have a miles bigger budget and bigger squad than we did that year and how they’ll probably sell all their best players over the next few years so the time is now for this Spurs team to win something, anything but I can’t be bothered I’m going bookies to back Barnsley to beat them tonight. 28/1 geezers. 28/1
Cal (I was a teenage armchair Honved fan) Wigan.
Crime and punishment
I am sure that some people will be asking how they are going to get Wayne Rooney to do 100 hours of unpaid work when he doesn’t appear capable of doing the work EFC are paying him for.
Ian, New Brighton
A word of warning Mr Gundogan. The last time I said I won’t be late for work again I was late the next day.