Mails: Tottenham are actually a bit w*nk

Date published: Friday 13th November 2015 10:55

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Spurs are actually a bit w*nk
Mailbox, am I missing something!?

“this is the best Spurs side since the 80’s”

“genuine top 4 material”

“Poch to United”


I’l agree they were fairly decent against Arsenal for 65 mins without actually creating as many clear cut chances as Arsenal – they could have easily lost that game. People keep bleating on about their ‘athleticism & fitness’ however they were absolute shambles for the last 15 minutes. Even the goal they scored was a bit of a gift from Kos/Chech.

Everyone keeps telling me that Alderwereld & Vertonghen are the best partnership in the league yet they were dominated by Giroud every time the ball was in the air – if he was in a more clinical mood Tottenham would have lost surely.

What is it about this Spurs team that people rate so highly? They run around lot and are not that easy to score against but the idea that they have some sort of incredible midfield seems really weird. It’s a bit like when everyone tried to convince themselves that Ryan Mason (English) was amazing last season, he was decent but not as good as say Jordan Henderson. Same with Bentaleb. (Side Note: Capoue has been looking really good at Watford.)

The bit that baffles me the most is that in 2011 – not that long ago – Spurs had a team that included: Garreth Bale, R.Van Der Vaart, Luca Modric, Lennon (who was unplayable at times back then), a choice of Adebayoor/Defoe/Saha up top. Ledley King in defence and captain.
The rest were fairly decent also (Dawson, Parker, Hud, Dos Santos, Friedel/Cudicini, Walker, Sandro etc.

That was a really good to watch top 4 calibre team that I believe underachieved. That they didn’t finish above what were some pretty weak Arsenal teams over the Wenger Austerity Years is both mental and funny.

I reckon Eriksen is probably the best current Spurs player and in most formations I don’t think he wouldn’t make that 2011 team.

I will admit Pochettino’s Spurs are doing well in relation to how much they have spent and appear to have a good team spirit. Thanks to Chelsea/Liverpool/Everton not being that consistent (actually Chelsea have been consistent) I’d say they have good chance of 4th, nothing more.

I think my point is basically that Spurs are always a bit w*nk when viewed over a whole season. If that has been the case when they have had really good players then let’s not pretend it will all of a sudden change just because a load of these lot are young and English.
James Barkstriker [Arsenal winning the league having not signed an outfield player would make Wenger a God, a stubborn French God]


Through the eyes of a child
Every day on F365 and especially in the mailbox, I read about stats proving this, stats proving that, transfers for this amount, tactical genius, inept scouting, poor coaching, positional awareness, etc, etc, etc. Normally I enjoy reading all that, getting stuck in and drawing my own conclusions either way, right or wrong.

But it seems odd because as a child, I think I got an unrivalled, pure and ultimate enjoyment from watching football. As a 9 year old, I knew nothings about stats, no idea how the full backs should be positioned, why a scouting network was failing or why my club couldn’t realistically bid £x for a player. If my club signed someone for £500,000 or £5,000,000 … it’s just numbers to a child who has no concept of their worth. All I saw was the red team against the blue team. Goals. A bit of skill here or there. A new signing I had no idea about, who could be a footballing god. And at the game, I just felt the atmosphere. Nothing else mattered.

Sometimes, now as an adult,  in big games I unknowingly revert to that childhood state where it is just my team against them, the game becomes simple: score a goal, don’t concede. After the game, ask me who played well and (past the blinding obvious), I can’t tell you. Was our centre half foolishly exposed by the lack of a covering fullback? No idea. I was too busy with nerves to take it in. It’s in this mind state that you can just sense genius and you don’t care what stats went before or after. And a few times this season when watching Sanchez and Ozil combining, that feeling comes back. They are just beautiful to watch. When they receive the ball, even the score doesn’t matter, they just draw you in and those 4 seconds before they release the ball feel like magic. And even though I rate him when I am being an analytical grown up … I have never had that feeling with Giroud. Take from that what you will.

So my questions are twofold, 1, does anyone else sometimes regress into ‘child mode’ when watching football? And 2, do you like how I shoehorned in some Arsenal talk?
Dommy S


What’s LVG’s deal, yo?
I recently read that Van Gaal is threatening Valdes with disciplinary action if he pitches up for training before the first team leaves. Like what the hell did Valdes ever do oto him, this is a goalie who was a goalie who was in top form before he left Barca mind you. He even had the audacity to sign Segio “Roy Carroll 2.0” Romero when he had a world-class goalie on his bloody bench. And I remember that a while back he(LVG) was even saying Valdes does not suit his “philosophy”. What the hell is that supposed to mean, a keeper’s just supposed to keep the team from conceding goals period. The scariest thing is Depay is probably next in line for this ice-cold treatment, and Di Maria was the first casualty. None of this makes sense at all. And why the hell
does notebook wielding pensioner just sit on the bench for the entirety of our games, no wonder our performances are always so lifeless. But at least we’re winning though, thats all that matters right?
Prince(Hopefully Rooney will be added to that list sooner rather later) van Zim


Defenders, defenders everywhere
Just on Stephen O’S, MUFC on a shortage of world class defenders, Whilst there is a shortage of them in their prime there does seem to a fair bunch of talented centre backs coming through the ranks all around Europe.

Just a few that have been making some waves:

Johnathan Tah – Leverkusen – 12 Games this season
Niklas Sule – Hoffenheim – 12 Games this season
Matthias Ginter –  Dortmund – 11 Games this season
Aymeric Laporte – Athletic Bilbao – 9 Games this season
Jose Gimenez – Atletico Madrid – 9 Games this season
Daniele Rugani – Juventus – 0 Games this season
Alessio Romagnoli – AC Milan – 11 Games this season
Marquinhos – PSG – 8 Games this season
John Stones – Everton – 10 games this season
Kurt Zouma –  Chelsea – 11 games this season
Sven Van Beek – Feyenoord – 12 games this season

Obviously not all of these will live up to their potential/hype but still can’t remember this many young defenders coming through at once before, future looks bright, hopefully.
Alex (Defenders…. Defenders everywhere) Australia, MUFC


Rooney v Ronaldo
Congratulations to a Kev Dublin for a perfect analysis between Ronaldo and Rooney. “Ronaldo is dedicated to his craft.” A terrific message for young players. I liken the Ronaldo/Rooney thing to Novak Djokovic/Andy Roddick in tennis. They both had obvious talent and reached a high level early in their careers. But only one of them kept chipping away at his craft and has gone on to dominate at the top.


Kris cross
Interesting that the “turgid, dire, insipid ” football referenced by Kris LFC has yielded four more goals for United than the mighty, swashbuckling Pool have managed
Al ( No. United fans are not like Liverpool fans. Thank God ) Regan


The English Football League
Dear Football365,

I’d like to thank the FA for announcing their rebrand of the Football League during the international break, so we haven’t got anything important to distract us from the real business of making stupid jokes.  I’d like to offer the following:

*Rebranding “the Football League” to “the English Fooball League” puts me in mind of a routine the late Linda Smith used to do about the people in her home town of Erith, near Dartford.  She once found an announcement in the local newspaper stating that “the winning entry in our competition to name the new leisure centre in Erith was ‘the Erith Leisure Centre’”.

*The other possibility for EFL is that they were well down the road to renaming it “the English Domestic League” before the penny dropped.

*It was a brave call to name it the “English” Football League.  Apparently, these days, if you say you’re English, they’ll arrest you and throw you in jail.

*The new EFL logo features 72 footballs, one representing each club.  It is literally a load of balls.

*An F365 poll asked people what name they would like to use for the Football League:

89% said The Football League
5% said The lower leagues
3% said Premier Leagues 2-4
2% said The English Football League
1% said Frank Lampard

The literary Ed Quoththeraven


Mediawatch fan
The guys at Mediawatch absolutely hit the nail on the head in every post of theirs. As an Indian living in the USA, I’m already appalled at the Journalism I have encountered in both these countries, but British media reporting on football players takes the cake.

I really wonder how they sleep peacefully at night having come up with some horshes**t headlines that have no relation to the very quotes they are referencing. Thanks to Mediawatch, my lunchtime scrolling of football articles makes me much motivated for the rest of the workday !

Thanks again, and keep it up !
Kaushik, Austin, Texas


After reading Nick Miller’s piece on Jamie Vardy, particularly his ‘chat sh*t’ quote, then reviewing the pictures, I can’t decide whether he looks more like Dolph Lungren (without the steroids and bad flattop) as Ivan Drago in Rocky IV or Remy from the 90’s film Higher Learning (without a skinhead).

Laugh until you compare the photos carefully.
Ian, LFC Medellin


Fond Fulop memories
In case anyone wasn’t aware, former goalkeeper Marton Fulop passed away yesterday.

Marton had a long, storied football career in England having played for Sunderland and Tottenham, as well as on loan at clubs such as Stoke, Leicester and my own club Coventry.

I don’t believe that any of the fans of these clubs will have anything but fond memories of him – He only played for us for one season (2005/6, our first in the Ricoh Arena) but I remember him being a very talented goalkeeper and fully committed to the City cause, usually more so than the contracted players. I particularly remember how wildly he used to celebrate wins and how he came out in the press about his desires to stay in Coventry permanently.

RIP, Marton. 31 is far too young for anyone to die, but I know you’ll be fondly remembered.
-Adrian (Coventry fan)

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