Mails: Wales taken down a peg or two

Date published: Wednesday 7th October 2015 3:32

Somebody thinks Wales need putting in their place, while there’s more on Jurgen Klopp…

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Putting the Welsh in their place
Chris Coleman is upset that none of the big dawgs want to play Wales in friendlies is he? Afraid are they? Well it’s time for a reality check Chris.

Wales are in the top eight of the FIFA rankings because you haven’t faced a Germany, Italy or Spain, Chris. You’re artificially high in the FIFA rankings based on a series of great results against a selection of second and third European tier teams, along with a couple of cracking results against Belgium. Don’t get too big for your boots. Your team has played pretty well in most games, (certainly more attractively than their neighbours across the border), but we all know that it’s your once-in-a-generation captain that’s proving the difference to a Wales side that hasn’t qualified for squat since before Coronation Street started. Your influence is minimal frankly, as a quick look at your managerial CV indicates.

The danger of playing Italy or a Germany in a series of meaningless friendlies will result in that lofty perch being shaken down and your boyos plummeting down the rankings. Remember, it was the FA decision to play England in ‘glamour friendlies’ in 2013 that resulted in them dropping down the rankings and getting two difficult games to start off their World Cup campaign last year.

If Wales are as good as you think they are, why not wait until the major tournaments and make a statement then? Sure, you might get found out at the big boys table because you haven’t played against Europe’s elite, but by getting them to World Cups and Euros you’re already a legend to the boys who have had to look at ‘Cauliflower Ear chuck egg’ for sporting solace for the best part of a century. Keep playing the likes of Slovenia and Montenegro in friendlies and you can afford the odd qualifying draw in Israel, and you’ll end up being seeded first for every qualification group, provided Bale’s on form and not injured. Then you and Roy’s boys can share the plane home at the end of the group stages.
Jae, Tunbridge Wells


Klopp’s biggest strength? Being a ‘foreign’?
You’re probably bored of these now, but who knows, maybe there’s room for one more Klopp mail. As a Pool fan, I’m pretty excited at the prospect of our new man. Not only is he a new broom, but will bring an exciting style of play and a real passion for the game. But I think one of his greatest assets will simply be that he’s not British, so the media and fans can’t draw parallels with fictional regional sales managers so easily. He has an air of the exotic, and when said in a teutonic accent, his soundbites suggest he’s a ‘character’ or ‘maverick’ rather than a trying-too-hard-buffoon (sorry Brendan).

I do feel sorry for poor Rodgers. Imagine the abuse and sneers he’d have got for some of the below gems (edited slightly to give an LFC context, but I’m sure you can guess which German genius uttered them first)

“But for most [Uruguayan] people it means more to play for [Barcelona] than [Liverpool]. We cried for 20 minutes, in each others’ arms, when he left.”

“The fans should not only recognise us by our [red] jerseys. Even if we play in [blue], everyone in the stadium should think, ‘Whoa, that can only be [Liverpool]’. When you sit in this stadium with your eyes closed, you should sense there is a passionate team on the field below.”

“We took the team to a lake in Sweden where there was no electricity. We went for five days without food. I wanted the team to feel that they can survive everything. My assistant coach thinks I’m an idiot. He asks if we can train there. No. Can we run there? No. But we can swim and fish! (to his credit he didn’t go on to point out that you can live for many days without water, but not a single day without hope. Still my favourite.)

Anyway – if being German spares Klopp the Guardian podcast cynicism (resisted a paranoid scouser dig at F365 there) and gives him the time to put Liverpool somewhere back in the vicinity of their perch, I’m all for it. And with Rodgers gone, Sherwood to follow and even Mourinho and LVG not necessarily here for the long run, we need a new character in our soap opera. Jurgen uber alles!
Pete (thanks for 13/14 Brendan – some of us know it wasn’t all Suarez) Singapore


Brian is so very excited
Riding on the back of John THFC, ‘Miss’ Saigon’s email this morning, is there any set of fans more deserving of Jurgen Klopps services than Liverpool fans? No, no there isn’t.

With 24 hours until K-Day I can’t decide what I am more excited for – the meltdown in the mailbox or the meltdown of Piers Morgan’s Twitter when the news is official.

The ironic thing is Liverpool has been blasted for talking to much about history, and it was history which landed us Jurgen Klopp!
Brian (Walking in a Jurgen Wunderland) LFC


Can Klopp take us fourth?
‎Me thinks it’s the perfect time for Klopp to come in. He couldn’t do any worse than Rodgers. Seeing that the fourth spot could be up for grasp this season as Chelsea are currently doing a good impression of United’s 13/14 season after winning the title the season before.

All he needs to do is put round pegs in round holes.

Put players in their original positions. Maybe give a couple of players chances to impress i.e Lallana, Enrique. And perhaps rid the club of the many average players currently masquerading as defenders in the pool squad.

If he could take the Europa League serious and win the damn thing, then he would have won over the Kop. And if he could finish in a decent position in the EPL say fourth spot, that would be par for the season.
Shayo Smith


One for the oldies…
Some Liverpool-supporting colleagues of mine are so buoyed by the thought of Klopp taking over at Liverpool, they believe even he can make something out of Lovren, may I be the first to suggest Soylent Green.
Carl (international week [sigh]) Oldfield Mufc Southport


Liverpool were afeared of losing Klopp
Sorry if this has been mentioned already (been busy and all that), but it seems very odd that people are still arguing about why Rodgers has been ditched now and questioning the timing of it all.

It’s very obvious to me that the trigger was Chelsea getting thumped at home by Southampton and Jose’s subsequent rant. With that result capping Chelsea’s recent form, the Liverpool board clearly thought Mourinho was about to about to walk or get the boot in the coming days and realised that if they didn’t get Klopp now then Chelsea would nick him. Then when the inevitable departure of Rodgers came in the coming weeks, they would be left without their first-choice candidate.

I think everyone knows in their hearts that Klopp would have been contacted by Liverpool to test the water anyway before they dumped Rodgers, everything has fallen into place a bit too quickly for him to have been taken aback with surprise when the phone rang during his sabbatical.

You can’t blame Liverpool really. The chance of losing a great managerial prospect to another Premier League team purely on timing of sackings would be a big mistake.
Adam, Leigh-on-Sea (SUFC)


Rodgers to Spurs will happen (one day)
Philip Brady, Navan Ireland, dismissed the notion that Brendan Rodgers is a future Spurs manager, seemingly largely due to Pochettino’s current situation. I find this optimism to be bordering on delusion – just looking at the list of former Spurs managers, the first thing that jumps out is that they’ve had ~20 managers since the PL era, caretakers included. It is only a matter of time before he gets the sack. This is true of all managers at all clubs, but especially true of Tottenham.

Also, my suggestion was that Brendan Rodgers would manage Spurs one day – not that his appointment was imminent. And I stand by that.
Oliver (Happy we are getting Klopp; somewhat disappointed Redknapp won’t get a chance to show how he’d do) Dziggel, Geneva Switzerland


Premier League conclusions
Here are a few of my conclusions from the PL this season so far.

LVG is still rubbish.
Wenger is still rubbish.
City are still rubbish.
Rooney is still rubbish.
Giroud is still rubbish.
Liverpool are still rubbish.

But you see, the EPL is still rubbish so if Chelsea fire Mourinho, who was and will ever be rubbish, hire Marmaduke (or any dog off the street) and they will still win the league.
Paul from Nigeria


Stats just entertainment
I think the England XI is conclusive proof that stats-based analysis, whilst a pleasant distraction for some, doesn’t really lend itself to the beautiful game.
John Lawless (farewell Gentleman Dick, lovely bloke and fellow Moody Blues fan) SAFC


Wrestling: Updates
John got one of the Premier League clubs as wrestlers wrong.

Sunderland – The Great Khali, f*****g awful in every single f*****g way.
Nick, CFC, Inverness


…As a closet wrestling fan and long-time Football365 reader I enjoyed the teams as wrestlers email from this morning’s mailbox.

The Vince McMahon as Newcastle simile is actually very relevant as he ‘apparently’ tried to buy the club a few years ago!

That would have been amazing, Stone Cold Steve Charlie Austin would be certain to start up front.
Jon, London


Lookalike time
Have you ever realised how much Mesut Ozil looks like Buster Keaton? Apart from the ears anyway…
Jonathan Beatty

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