Mediawatch: Asking the really big questions

Date published: Wednesday 16th December 2015 1:19

Sky Sports Football365

What do you think they want to know? #F365HQ

 

Slight difference of opinion
‘Sacking Mourinho would cost Chelsea round £10million in compensation’ – Daily Telegraph.

‘ROMAN ABRAMOVICH will be forced to pay Jose Mourinho more than £40million if he fires the Chelsea manager’ – Daily Mail.

What’s £30m between friends?

 

Know your job
Just two days after The Sun’s Andrew Dillon’s advice to Louis van Gaal was basically ‘be more like Jose’, our favourite West Ham fan ‘takes a look at who is really at fault for Chelsea’s nightmare start’.

Mourinho has to take some of the blame, of course, but Dillon’s reasoning is rather suspect: ‘Sources at Chelsea say Mourinho wants certain players to do everything but it is ridiculous to order Hazard to defend as he is not a defender.’

That is top-notch spot from Dillon. Presumably Hazard should purely be midfielding. Or winging (it). Or occasionally false striking.

 

The cheek of it
The Sun
have handed marks out of ten to all involved in the ‘CHAMPIONS IN MELTDOWN’ farrago. Most understandably fare pretty badly, except Willian (8) and Ruben Loftus-Cheek (7), who must have been truly excellent in all of those 62 Premier League minutes. Or at least truly English. Kurt Zouma? Just 5/10. And unashamedly French.

 

Willian, it was really something
‘But apparently Willian is better than Messi…’ is the disappointingly snarky headline in The Times as they detail UEFA’s Champions League group stage XI.

Well he did score five goals in six games.

 

Savage advice
To those asking why Jose Mourinho has not arrested the Chelsea slide, we say ‘he was obviously waiting for Robbie Savage’. He wears a ‘WWRD’ wristband, doncha know?

And here it is: ‘If he still confides in senior players, which has been the case in the past, I would suggest he tells them to pull their fingers out.’

He probably hasn’t thought of that.

 

Quiz time
‘Is Jose morphing into Rafa?’ asks The Sun. ‘No’ would be the simplest answer to that question but apparently we should ‘take our quiz to find out!’.

What follows are ten quotes from either Benitez or Mourinho. Surely the only thing we will ‘find out’ from this quiz is how much we know about quotes from Benitez or Mourinho. With 10/10 we can safely say that we know quite a lot. Mrs Mediawatch would probably get 5/10 just from guessing; would that automatically mean that Jose is in fact ‘morphing into Rafa’? We’re confused.

It’s almost like it’s just an excuse for some sh*t Photoshopping.

 

Early exit
When you have insight, you should never he afraid to use it. Again and again and again.

Neil Ashton on Eden Hazard, Daily Mail, December 2013: ‘Eden Hazard is first off the training pitches and first to get away after lunch. There is disbelief that a player with so much ability should choose to lead his professional life this way.

Neil Ashton on Eden Hazard, Daily Mail, April 10: ‘Despite his ability he was often one of the first to leave after training, heading home to his family – wife Natasha and their two young children, after a quick shower and lunch with his team-mates. Slowly he has bought into dressing room culture.’

Neil Ashton on Eden Hazard, Daily Mail, October 22: ‘The Chelsea boss publicly picks on players in his own squad and has constant fights with the football establishment, but Hazard prefers to keep a low profile. When training finishes for the day, the Belgium playmaker is one of the first to dart out of the door, eating his lunch with the rest of the squad in the canteen before speeding back to his family unit.’

Neil Ashton on Eden Hazard, Daily Mail, December 16: ‘Eden Hazard…has no time for the politics and the power games that Mourinho wants to play. The PFA Player of the Year leads a simple life: first out of the showers after training, first into the canteen to eat lunch with the rest of the squad and first to leave their Cobham base each day.’

 

Never tear us apart
The Daily Mail’s
Dominic King has taken a break from calling Jurgen Klopp ‘madcap’ and has interviewed Bayern Munich’s Thiago Alcantara. It’s an interesting interview taking in La Masia, growing up in Brazil, Euro 2016 and interest from Manchester United. What it doesn’t take in is Arsenal.

So quite why the MailOnline felt they had to use the headline ‘Thiago Alcantara on tearing Arsenal apart and why he’s doesn’t yet fancy the Premier League’ is a mystery. Well, it’s not a mystery, just really f***ing sad.

 

Marcelo who?
On Tuesday John Hartson told talkSPORT that he had never heard of Swansea managerial target Marcelo Bielsa. On Wednesday Shay Given said the same thing. Apparently it would be a “right-field appointment”. Now that’s hipster.

 

Never-bending Storey
Somebody hold Football365’s Daniel Storey back. The president, treasurer and social secretary of the Romelu Lukaku Appreciation Society is on his way to Sky Sports looking for blood after their power rankings confirmed that the Belgian (seven goals in six Premier League games) is actually in worse form than Junior Stanislas and Adam Smith.

 

Bite your hands off
‘Get ready for this rumour United fans,’ begins the piece on the now-shameless Daily Telegraph website. ‘United want to sign a former Liverpool player in the January transfer window. They only want to buy a certain Luis Suarez!

‘Yes, the rumour mill has probably been indulging in the festive spirits to throw up this crazy line but we’re going to run with it anyway, because it gives us the chance to put ‘Liverpool’, ‘Manchester United’, ‘transfer’ and ‘Luis Suarez’ in a headline and that really is all we care about imagine the shock and surprise if such a deal actually came off!’

 

Magic numbers
“If you spend that kind of money then why haven’t they got 22 international footballers?” asks Paul Merson of Manchester United on the Sky Sports website.

He’s right; having 21 international footballers is just sh*t.

 

The living years
Mediawatch has seen ‘Merson on Manchester United’ piece far, far too late to do it justice but one thing deserves a wider audience:

* ‘I’d have Darren Fletcher all day long. Sir Alex Ferguson used to play him in all the big matches, going up against Patrick Vieira when they had their battles with Arsenal, and he never had a bad game. It’s still the same for him at West Brom.’

Note: Patrick Vieira left Arsenal in 2005; Fletcher last played 20-plus PL games for Manchester United in 2010/11.

 

Recommended reading of the day
Julien Laurens on Riyad Mahrez and N’Golo Kante

Jonathan Wilson on Wes Morgan

Adam Hurrey on under-used back-up strikers

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