Mediawatch: Explaining why Lukaku will be a failure

Matt Stead

Number one
‘Manchester United make Everton star Romelu Lukaku number one transfer target’ – Metro, May 11.

‘Jose Mourinho already has an eye on the summer with targets lined up. Antoine Griezmann is his first choice signing’ – Daily Express, May 20.

Jose Mourinho prioritising two transfers [Alvaro Morata and Kylian Mbappe] ahead of Antoine Griezmann for Manchester United’ – Metro, May 31.

‘Alvaro Morata emerges as Manchester United’s top transfer target to succeed Zlatan Ibrahimovic’ – Daily Telegraph, June 5.

‘Senior United sources insist Lukaku was always United’s ‘principal target’ and the club had pursued the Belgium international for months’ – Manchester Evening News, July 6.

Just so we’re clear, United prioritised the signing of LukakuGriezmannMbappeMorataLukaku this summer. That leaves only one question: Who will become their ‘first-choice signing’ who they ‘have always wanted’ if the Lukaku deal collapses?

 

What’s £50,000 and an extra year between friends?
‘Lukaku is understood to have been offered a four-year deal with the option for a further 12 months and is set to earn a salary in the region of £200,000-a-week’ – Daily Mirror.

‘Lukaku, who is set to sign a five-year contract worth more than £200,000 a week’ – Daily Mail.

‘Old Trafford boss Moruinho will land the Belgian in a classic coup that has blindsided the Blues – with the striker agreeing a five-year deal worth £250,000 a week’ – The Sun.

 

Stats entertainment
The Daily Mail are asking the pertinent question: ‘Is he really worth £75million?’

‘Romelu Lukaku may have scored 25 league goals last season,’ the piece begins, ‘but he lagged behind his Golden Boot rivals in terms of his running stats.’

The Mail proceed to run down said statistics, comparing Lukaku with Harry Kane, Sergio Aguero, Diego Costa and Alexis Sanchez:

  • Lukaku covers the least average distance per game out of the five.
  • Lukaku makes the fewest number of sprints per game out of the five.
  • Lukaku reaches the lowest average speed per game out of the five.
  • Lukaku’s goals earned the fewest points out of the five last season.

What the Mail fail to mention is that a) Lukaku scored more goals last season than all of those players aside from Harry Kane, b) Lukaku is younger than each of those players aside from Harry Kane, and c) Jose Mourinho probably isn’t signing him for his sprints completed per minute statistics.

 

Phil in the gaps
Phil Neville, like the rest of the footballing world, is not bothered about Lukaku’s running stats. In fact, he believes the Belgian is the perfect replacement for Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

“I think he’s a different type of striker from what United have had for a long time, someone that can probably run in behind, can be a little bit of a battering ram, that United can play on the counter-attack.

“I think with Zlatan last season United couldn’t play on the counter-attack because obviously his age and the fact his legs are slowing down a little bit. Now you’ve got someone with genuine, genuine speed that United can play on the counter-attack.

“I think you’ve seen an improvement. I think there were of couple of criticisms – can he play in big games? Can he score in the big games?

“I think he half dispelled that last season.”

How do you ‘half dispel’ something? And how can you be ‘a little bit of a battering ram’. Get off that fence, Phil.

 

Careless whisper
Mediawatch has a long and storied history with Football Whispers, who are currently featured rather prominently on the website of Sky Sports. Their ‘unique algorithm’ is able to ‘rank transfer rumours out of 5 based on the likelihood they’ll really happen’. They cut through the rubbish, basically.

With that said, most would expect ‘Romelu Lukaku to Manchester United’ to sit towards the top of the list. Sky Sports themselves state elsewhere that ‘United are confident of landing the Belgium striker and have agreed an initial fee of £75m’. The striker is also ‘expected to undergo a medical with his potential new club ahead of their US tour’. Most outlets report that the deal could go through before Sunday.

Football Whispers have not received that memo. Of their ten most likely transfers on Friday morning, featured in Sky’s live transfer blog, there are:

  1. Andrea Conti to AC Milan, which is rated at a likelihood of 5 out of 5. Considering AC Milan have announced the deal, that seems pessimistic if anything.
  2. Jonny Howson to Middlesbrough, which is rated at a likelihood of 4.8. Considering Middlesbrough have announced the deal, it should perhaps be a 5, but still.
  3. Antonio Rudiger to Chelsea (4.8).
  4. Tiemoue Bakayoko to Chelsea (4.8).
  5. Ruben Neves to Wolves, whose manager has actually said that he expects the deal to go through (4.8).
  6. Tyias Browning to Sunderland (4.8).
  7. Jonathan Walters to Burnley (4.7).
  8. Ivan Perisic to Manchester United (4.1).
  9. Diego Costa to Atletico Madrid (4.1).
  10. Douglas Costa to Juventus (4.1).

A word of warning to Manchester United fans, then: You are a likelihood of 4.1 at best to sign Lukaku.

In fact, you are more likely to sign Perisic. A reminder that Sky’s last story on the Inter Milan winger was on June 30. The ‘unique algorithm’ has done mightily well to pick up on those whispers.

 

Don’t let The Sun go down on me
After Neil Ashton penned a quite wonderful cover letter for the CV of the man football is scared of, Tim Sherwood, The Sun‘s chief football correspondent is back. As part of his column on Friday, he pays a short tribute to another proper football man, one somehow braver than Sherwood himself.

‘Sir Alex Ferguson has told pals he would have signed John Terry on a free if he was still Manchester United boss,’ he writes.

 

Mirror, Mirror
In his column for The Sun, Neil Ashton uses a 49-word snippet to claim that Alex Ferguson has ‘told pals’ that he would have signed John Terry this summer were he still in charge of Manchester United. It seems an odd thing to uncover without any quotes, a mental thing for Ferguson to think, and a funny thing for Ashton, who touted Terry for Arsenal in June, to claim – but still.

The Sun’s piece on Terry is harmless fluff, a small snippet atop a much larger column penned by Ashton. The Daily Mirror have no such excuse. By the time the story reaches their desk, it becomes something different altogether.

‘Former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson makes sensational claim about Chelsea hero John Terry,’ reads the headline.

That the first paragraph – ‘Sir Alex Ferguson has made the sensational claim that was he still Manchester United boss he would have signed Chelsea’s John Terry’ – says essentially the same thing, just in a few more words, suggests they have little to work from. A 49-word snippet, for example.

It takes until the third paragraph for us to learn that Ferguson ‘believes the 36-year-old could still do a job in the Premier League, according to The Sun’.

‘Still do a job in the Premier Lague’ is very, very different to “I would have signed him for Manchester United”.

 

Mesut and tie
The ladies and gents over at the Metro have quite the scoop on Friday. ‘Mesut Ozil basically confirms he is staying at Arsenal,’ reads the headline to their top football story.

How has such a confirmation come about when the German has been relatively secretive with regards to his contract discussions until now? Let’s find out.

“I’m really looking forward to it,” he said of linking up with new signing Alexandre Lacazette. “He’s a very good striker who has scored many goals in Ligue 1, not just this season but in previous seasons too. We’re really happy to have such a class striker here with us.”

Mediawatch for one is stunned that Ozil, in an interview with Arsenal Player, didn’t say he was happy that Lacazette had joined but that he was buggering off.

 

Recommended reading of the day
Adam Bate on Romelu Lukaku.

Paul Doyle on one man’s football quest.

Jack Lang on transfer unveilings.