Mediawatch: Jamie Vardy’s port in a storm

Daniel Storey

What a difference three weeks makes

“I can see the logic in terms of the odds but it wasn’t a route I felt I was ready to take. I’m pretty clear on what I’m comfortable with but also I know to take that role wasn’t something I think I’ve got the experience for. I think it’s one of the ultimate jobs and you want every skill set possible when you go into it. Sam obviously has years and years of experience. I think with England there are one or two other things that I would want to have had experience of before I took that role” – Gareth Southgate, September 5.

We hope it has been a busy 23 days, Gareth…

 

A developing sense of martyrdom

“It was a great honour for me to be appointed back in July and I am deeply disappointed at this outcome. This afternoon, I met with Greg Clarke and Martin Glenn and offered a sincere and wholehearted apology for my actions. As part of today’s meeting, I was asked to clarify what I said and the context in which the conversations took place. I have co-operated fully in this regard. I also regret my comments with regard to other individuals” – Sam Allardyce, September 27.

“Entrapment has won on this occasion and I have to accept that. I went into this meeting first an foremost because Scott McGarvey is a man who he has known for 20 or 30 years and was desperate to get a job, from these people who turned out to be undercover reporters, and a salary and a company car. I didn’t go because he was being greedy or wanted to earn more money. I did it to do a friend a favour. I knew that I might get a contract for public speaking but I was doing it as a favour to a friend” – Sam Allardyce, September 28.

 

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the naughtiest of the wall?
Congratulations to Mirror Football for the following headline:

‘Who are the eight Premier League managers accused of taking “bungs”?’

Of course it contains no suggestions. Of course it is attributed only to ‘Mirror Sport’. Of course it is top of their ‘most read in sport’ section. Of course they don’t give a flying f**k that it’s as naughty as can be.

 

Revealed: Why Ranieri is getting the England job
‘England manager: Claudio Ranieri and Roberto Mancini tipped as candidates to replace Big Sam as England boss,’ reads the headline on The Sun website. Interesting.

‘The bungling FA could make the Three Lions’ poisoned chalice the Italian Job by offering it up to Claudio Ranieri and Roberto Mancini,’ a piece from Wally Downes Jr begins.

‘The Leicester City boss and reigning Premier League champion Ranieri was asked on Tuesday night – after his side’s 1-0 Champions League win over Porto – whether he would fancy the job and he refused to rule it out.’

We’ll stop you there, Wally. Ranieri’s actual response when told he was on the bookmakers’ list was to laugh for several seconds, say that he was not friends with bookmakers and then reiterate that he just wanted to focus on Leicester’s win against Porto.

‘The former Chelsea boss was also a glaring absence from the front cover of the Foxes match-day programme ahead of the European clash, with the club’s Thai owner facing centre-stage, making his position look less than watertight.’

Ha ha ha. While Leicester chairman Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha putting himself on the front cover of the programme was more than a little egotistical, Mediawatch is going to presume that it was created before 7.46pm, when the Allardyce announcement was made, given that Leicester’s game had already started.

 

Less Than Jake
Jake Humphrey, BT Sport’s anchor, is quickly earning a reputation for putting his foot in his mouth on social media. His take on the Sam Allardyce affair was sensational.

‘There it is then,’ Humphrey tweeted at 7.26pm. ‘Sam to be remembered as the England manager who lasted 67 days. Undone by a trio of greed, naivety and our poisonous press’.

Humphrey promptly received plenty of backlash about his criticism of said press, as you’d expect. You don’t have to agree with entrapment journalism, but it can hardly be blamed for Allardyce placing himself in the situation he did.

Humphrey deleted and tried again:

‘Better wording… Sam to be remembered as the England manager who lasted 67 days. Undone by a trio of greed, naivety and our ruthless press’.

Erm, ‘poisonous’ and ‘ruthless’ are not synonyms, Jake. You didn’t get the wording wrong, you changed your opinion after getting an awful lot of flak. Unfortunately for Humphrey, ‘ruthless’ isn’t exactly complimentary either, and the criticism did not stop there.

Humphrey tried a third time:

‘To be clear – the Telegraph were justified & Sam had to go. I was merely trying to point out how diligent our press are. Got wording wrong.’

Erm, ‘poisonous’, ‘ruthless’ and ‘diligent’ are not synonyms, Jake. You didn’t get the wording wrong, you changed your opinion after getting an awful lot of flak.

Twice.

 

The one take you were waiting for
From Sky Sports’ football live blog:

‘Leicester’s director of rugby, Richard Cockerill, has had his say on Sam Allardyce’s England exit…

‘He told Sky Sports News HQ: “Sam Allardyce has made a huge error of judgement in what he has done.

‘”As we have seen in recent weeks at Leicester with behaviour, on and off the field, you are in the public eye and have to behave appropriately.

‘”Thankfully rugby doesn’t have the money that football has, money unfortunately brings the worst out in most of us.”’

That’s Leicester rugby.

 

Actually, the one take you were really waiting for

So many questions…

 

The experts
As well as Richard Cockerill (Cockle-doodle-doo, the big Cock etc), Sky Sports gained the insight of some of the most influential voices in football on the Allardyce scandal.

Step forward for the roll of honour: Andy Hinchcliffe, former Portsmouth midfielder Matt Taylor, Iain Dowie, Tony Cottee, Paul Walsh and Tony Gale. What a boyband.

 

‘Taken away’

“Of course you’ve got sympathy,” said Iain Dowie on Sky Sports News HQ. Of course.

“I know him personally. Anyone who has done the time he’s done in the game – to find a way [to get the England job] and for it to be taken away in this manner is disappointing.”

Whatever your view on the Allardyce situation, claiming that the England job was “taken away” really is award-winningly one-eyed.

“A lad who’s so meticulous in his preparation – Malta and Slovenia will have been done already. He’ll know what their moves are on every set piece, the patterns of play are and when they’re going to attack you.”

Someone tell the Football Association to change their mind; awful behaviour does not matter when you realise that Allardyce knew the set-piece moves of a team who lost 5-1 at home to Scotland earlier this month.

 

Slight difference of opinion

‘Sam Allardyce leaves job as England manager with a seven-figure pay-off after just 67 days in charge’ – MailOnline.

‘Sam Allardyce won on debut, earned £500k and left without a pay-off… all in just 67 days in charge’ – The Sun.

Summary: One of you doesn’t have a clue.

 

Port in a storm
Another day, another wonderful Jamie Vardy alcohol anecdote, from his upcoming autobiography:

‘I can’t say why it started, because I genuinely don’t know, but I decided to drink a glass of port on the eve of every game in the 2015–16 season.

‘I’m not normally superstitious but from the moment I scored against Sunderland on the opening day, I didn’t want to change anything.

‘I fill a small plastic water or Lucozade bottle to halfway and just sip the port while watching television. It tastes like Ribena to me, and it helps me switch off.’

THAT’S A QUARTER OF A LITRE OF PORT. EVERY TIME.

 

Gives you wings
And while we’re on Vardy:

‘With a traditional 3pm Saturday kick-off, I’ll have a can of Red Bull as soon as I wake up, which is gone in 30 seconds.

‘I don’t have breakfast and won’t eat anything until I have a cheese-and-ham omelette with baked beans at 11.30am. I wash that down with another Red Bull, which I also neck quickly.

‘While we’re waiting and killing a bit of time, I have a double espresso, normally with centre-half Marcin Wasilewski. We get into the dressing room an hour and a half before kick-off, and I’ll have a third can of Red Bull straight away.

‘So three Red Bulls, a double espresso and a cheese-and-ham omelette is what makes me run around like a nutjob on a match day.’

Suddenly Vardy punching himself in the face makes a lot more sense. Mediawatch is genuinely worried about the effect of added Champions League football on his health.

 

Headline of the day

‘Changes: When Big Sam got the job… Pokemon was in, Brangelina were an item, iPhones took headphones, and milk was 2p cheaper’ – The Sun.

Played.

 

Recommended reading of the day
Daniel Taylor on Sam Allardyce.

Iain Macintosh on Sam Allardyce.

Ed Aarons on Mark Curtis.