Lionel Messi? I haven’t heard that name in years

Matt Stead

Journey
‘Revealed: Lionel Messi in talks over £800k-a-week Manchester City move’ – The Sun, November 26, 2015.

‘Lionel Messi’s £120m move to Manchester City edges closer’ – The Sun, December 29, 2015.

‘Lionel Messi open to Man City talks to earn nearly £1million-per-week’ – The Sun, May 23, 2016.

‘Lionel Messi to Manchester City: Barcelona chiefs conspiring to sell Argentine’ – The Sun, July 26, 2016.

‘Man City Transfer News: Lionel Messi to be reunited with Pep Guardiola?’ – The Sun, July 28, 2016.

‘Barcelona vs Manchester City: Pep Guardiola leaves door open for Lionel Messi reunion ahead of Champions League clash’ – The Sun, October 16, 2016.

‘DEAL OF THE CENTURY Lionel Messi to Manchester City: Barcelona star targeted in £100million switch’ – The Sun, November 20, 2016.

‘Lionel Messi to leave Barcelona: Manchester United and Manchester City on red alert as Barca chief admits club cannot afford new deal’ – The Sun, January 12, 2017.

‘Lionel Messi to Manchester City: Club tell Barcelona they will fork out a record £100million to reunite superstar with Pep Guardiola’ – The Sun, January 17, 2017.

Don’t stop believin’…

 

Hair to the throne

*Deep breath*

1) We can’t stress this enough: FORGET THE HAIRSTYLES THING. Manchester United did not pay any of those 89 millions for the hairstyles.

2) This isn’t ‘all United get’, no. Pogba has not left the club yet.

3) Pogba has been excellent recently. He had a bad game against Liverpool for sure, but do we really need to pounce on him?

Weirdly, no articles about John Stones being terrible recently. Go figure.

4) The headline to that piece in the Daily Mail is as follows: ‘Goals 6 Hairstyles 6: That’s Paul Pogba’s tally for this season after his dismal display against Liverpool and don’t forget he cost a whopping £89m.’

It’s almost as if judging midfielders solely on goals is a bit stupid?

Mediawatch feels it necessary to point out that the Daily Mail’s Chris Wheeler has been well and truly stitched up by that tweet and the headline on his piece; balance just doesn’t sell.

Call Collymore
Stan Collymore is ‘the man who always speaks his mind’, and Stan Collymore is angry. He hates people voicing their big opinions for effect and then changing them a few weeks later, you see.

‘This column isn’t a slight on Pep Guardiola. Not really,’ Collymore writes in the Daily Mirror. ‘It’s a slight on the modern fan — the modern hipster, pundit and journalist.

‘A slight on everyone who sees Henrikh Mkhitaryan’s Boxing Day scorpion kick and declares it the best goal ever, then says the same of Olivier Giroud’s one barely a week later.

‘We’re living in a day and age where something is delineated as the best immediately, and then it’s forgotten two weeks later when it is proven that, okay, maybe it wasn’t really. It’s the immediacy of everything that is galling.’

Good man, Stan. You keep fighting that fight on those who flit between opinions. It’s not as if you wrote this in November:

‘I know the Festive season is still a few weeks away but Chelsea and Liverpool fans be warned: I’m going to sound a bit like Scrooge here. Because despite two fantastic performances from your sides over the weekend, I still think you’ll be battling it out for a Champions League spot come May but not for the Premier League crown.

‘I hear some pundits saying, “Oh, well last week I thought Manchester City were going to win the league but this week I’m going to say Liverpool”. And that’s rubbish, it winds me up, because things don’t just change over a weekend or two. I went for City before a ball had been kicked and I’ve seen nothing to change my mind.’

And this less than a month later:

“I’ve long questioned whether Pep Guardiola has a Plan B or not. Now I’m starting to wonder how good a man-manager he is as well. Because even though the Manchester City boss is probably a slightly better coach than Antonio Conte or Jurgen Klopp, I can’t help but think their management skills could see them pip Pep to the title this season.’

So Klopp’s good now is he, Stan? Because you wrote this earlier in the season:

‘Am I allowed to criticise Jurgen? Is anyone? Or is the cult of manager so strong at certain clubs that we all have to blindly wait for Liverpool to show the consistency under a highly-paid, long-contract manager?

‘I want Liverpool to do well, and I get very excited when gegenpressing works, but let’s be honest, in the Bundesliga or La Liga it’s in a league where you can roll over teams by just working hard. In Klopp they have invested in a man to deliver that, not just a smiling ‘everything will be okay tomorrow’ manager. Patience is fine and I’m an advocate of a proper well thought plan but in all honesty, Plan B. What is it?’

Keep up the good work.

 

Also…
You’ll remember that Stan Collymore doesn’t like people making big opinions based on small sample sizes. Come on, it was 30 seconds ago.

So, what does Collymore say about Everton trio Mason Holgate (473 Premier League minutes), Tom Davies (266 mins) and Ademola Lookman (two mins) – a group that have played two minutes together – two inches to the left of that column?

‘This group can be the equal of the young group at Spurs, they’re just a few games further behind in terms of development and experience.’

Of course…

 

China crisis
Fair play to Ian Wright in The Sun, who runs with Manchester City’s defensive issues in a fabulous way. Wright starts with Bravo, which is fair cop, but by the end of the column is writing the following:

‘And I’ll tell you one more worrying thing for City fans. When Pep arrived, they all thought it would lead to the best players in the world, in every position, gradually following him. I see it differently.

‘If you’ve got men like Sergio Aguero, Kevin De Bruyne and David Silva in a team that is conceding goals and losing too many games, how long will they put up with that?… I’m sure China are also watching with interest.’

That’s right, De Bruyne and Aguero might leave for China. Steady on old thing.

 

Too good by half
“I can guarantee, 100 per cent, that if Hart was still No. 1 at City, there’s no way they would have let in half the number of goals as they have” – Ian Wright, The Sun.

Goals conceded by Manchester City 2016/17: 26 (with a defence playing as badly as it ever has)
Goals conceded by City at this stage in 2015/16: 21
Goals conceded by City at this stage in 2014/15: 20
Goals conceded by City at this stage in 2013/14: 23

You can’t ‘guarantee’ it, can you Wrighty?

 

Sale of the century

So, do you think that the Daily Mail‘s Charlie Sale is the type of person to crowbar Neville into his next ‘Sports Agenda’ column to make a point? Let’s see…

‘Sky Sports indulged Gary Neville by screening a vanity-project documentary about his life as a pundit straight after Manchester United’s draw with Liverpool, for which he had been the co-commentator.

‘It was co-produced by Sky and Neville’s own TV production company. However, viewers don’t seem to share Sky’s slavish obsession with Neville — the programme was seen by an average of just 260,000.’

Miaow.

 

Ballsy shout of the day
‘Problems with Pep has punters pining for Pell’ – The Sun.

Alliteration: 10/10.
Accuracy: 2/10.

 

Headline of the day
‘Sadio Mane scores in Africa Cup of Nations win – but when will Senegal star return to Liverpool?’ – Metro.

When Senegal get knocked out? (Yes).