The Sun headline of the day
‘Cristiano Ronaldo’s latest Miami fling revealed as mega-bootylicious babe Cassandre Davis’ – The Sun.
1) Is ‘mega-bootylicious’ really a phrase?
2) Of course that’s the fourth most important football story of the day.
A transfer rumour built on Italian sand
This is a tweet from the Daily Telegraph’s football account:
— Telegraph Football (@TeleFootball) August 2, 2016
‘Liverpool make offer for Mattia De Sciglio,’ that piece begins. ‘According to La Gazzetta dello Sport, Liverpool have made a £16m bid for AC Milan defender Mattia De Sciglio. The 23-year-old is one of many full backs to be linked with a move to Anfield, but it appears that he is top of Jurgen Klopp’s wishlist.’
Remember those phrases: ‘Liverpool make offer for Mattia De Sciglio’ and ‘top of Jurgen Klopp’s wishlist’.
The first thing to point out is that La Gazzetta dello Sport said nothing of the sort. Honestly, nothing. However, the Gazzetta di Parma did. They’re all the same, aren’t they? It’s got ‘Gazzetta’ in, isn’t that enough?
In fact, even that link is pretty messy. Gazzetta di Parma took their story from a website called Sportal.it, which looks spurious at best when it comes to transfer stories.
The translation of that Sportal story is as follows:
‘New suitor for De Sciglio. After being approached to Napoli, the Rossoneri’s defender would be in the sights of Liverpool. Klopp, coach of Reds, would love the exterior of the Devil.’
It’s not a perfect translation, but we think we can say this for sure: At no point has anyone said that a bid has been made for De Sciglio.
As for Klopp’s wishlist…
A new low in the Paul Pogba saga
The desperation to bring yet another update on Paul Pogba’s potential move to Manchester United is obvious; Mediawatch has seen the figures we get on our own Pogba stories.
However, The Sun’s website might just have scraped the barrel. Their top football story on Tuesday is that Manchester United supporters are worried that Pogba will join Real Madrid. And you know what that means: tweets.
‘MANCHESTER UNITED fans are worried Real Madrid will hijack a deal for Paul Pogba after the midfielder flew on a private jet to New York City.
‘After Pogba sent out a cryptic message that showed him on a plane, United fans had been optimistic that the 23-year-old was flying to Manchester to complete a deal.But hope soon turned to dread as it was revealed the Juventus midfielder was on his way to the US – where Real Madrid have just arrived for the latest leg of their pre-season tour.
‘The 23-year-old is still expected to complete a world record move to Old Trafford, which could cost United £226million in total, from Juventus this week. Real Madrid being in the same city is believed to be purely coincidence.
‘Manager Jose Mourinho and transfer chief Ed Woodward are hopeful the deal will be done before the Community Shield clash with Leicester City at Wembley Stadium on Sunday afternoon. But United fans are worried.’
There then follows a list of tweets, presumably sourced by searching for ‘Pogba New York Real Madrid’ given that all three words feature in every tweet used.
Is this where we’ve come to? Where a national newspaper, one that knows Pogba being in New York has no relation to Real Madrid also being there, uses the worry of supporters to convey angst and thus create the ‘biggest’ football story of the day.
It’s all nonsense.
Always look on the bright side of life
“You don’t get offered the Real Madrid job, the Barcelona job, the United job, if you’ve not had something to suggest that there’s a reason for that job,” said David Moyes during his media unveiling at Sunderland. He’s definitely not bitter.
You didn’t get offered the Real Madrid or Barcelona job, Dave, you got offered the Manchester United job. And you got offered that job because Alex Ferguson decided you’d be good at it. And he was wrong.
“You don’t get offered those jobs, you don’t get offered big jobs, if you’ve not done something.”
And you don’t take the Sunderland job three years later unless things have gone very swiftly downhill.
De dum, de dum, de dum de dum de dum
We can’t leave Moyes’ optimism there. Not when he boasts of his Premier League win record like a proud dad.
“I don’t think I have anything to prove to anybody else but I am always proving to myself that I want to keep my standards high. I think I’ve got the fourth-best win record out of all the managers in the Premier League.”
Well, ish. If you judge ‘win record’ by most number of wins, then Moyes does indeed sit in fourth place. But that’s mainly because he also sits fourth on a list of Premier League games, too. And fourth in the list of most losses. It’s kinda how this sh*t works.
The Zenga bus is coming
David Moyes is not the only newly-appointed manager showing off their award-winning levels of optimism. At Wolverhampton Wanderers, Walter Zenga is putting a positive spin on his lack of experience in England and time before the new season.
“Last year, many times, I spoke with Claudio. I haven’t spoken to Claudio since taking the job. But when he comes back from abroad we will talk. It’s normal to get some advice. You share your experience and your ideas – even if you’re not arriving in another country. Everyone is saying I only have a week before the start of the season, but Ranieri had the same before his season with Leicester.”
I mean that’s just not true, Walter. Ranieri was appointed on July 13, 2015, 26 days before the season started. You were appointed six days before the start of the season.
Still, good luck chap. We think you’ll probably need it.
The plot thickens…
On Tuesday morning, Sky Sports’ transfer centre brings its readers the latest on Mohamed Diame’s potential move to Newcastle United.
‘Sky sources reported earlier today that Hull have offered Mo Diame a new contract, but his latest tweet seems to suggest that his move to Newcastle is still very much on – simply posting one black and one white circle,’ their feed reads.
And here is said tweet:
— Mohamed Diame (@MohamedDiame17) August 2, 2016
That’s all very well, but that Diame account has 680 followers, and looks distinctly ‘unofficial’.
That’s unless Diame also spends his time tweeting things like this:
‘Gonna knock out a wank for every goal Hull score against QPR.’
That account has since deleted such fruity tweets. We still see you, sad lonely spoof account.
Quote of the day
‘A failed player, failed manager and now f***ed pundit. Don’t bother reading at all!’
Mediawatch has a feeling that we’ll enjoy Aston Villa owner Tony Xia’s time in England. Ian Holloway might not be so convinced.
Best/worst headline of the day
‘Gerihat-trick’ – The Sun on Wayne Rooney playing on until the age of 36. It’s a love-hate thing.
And definitely the worst headline of the day
‘RIP Raheem Sterling: Man City flop trolled after Sane signing’ – Metro.
And giving such tw*ts the oxygen of publicity in return for clicks is definitely the way to go.
Recommended reading of the day
Ben Fisher with Jaap Stam
Gab Marcotti on the transfer window
Tactical view on the evolution of the full-back