Mediawatch: Phil Neville and ignoring your own advice

Daniel Storey

Well, well
You may remember Mediawatch from Tuesday, in which we discussed The Sun’s exclusive interview with Xavi. A reminder:

‘Those Xavi quotes were given to The Sun, who claim a back-page exclusive despite not using the words ‘told SunSport’ in the piece (that always makes Mediawatch’s alarm bell ring). Still, nice to see Daniel Cutts’ famed transfer exclusives make the jump from online to print.’

That alarm bell sounded for two reasons. Firstly, no other outlet had the quotes. That’s not unusual (and how exclusives should work), but the story failed to use the words ‘told SunSport’. Mediawatch has been doing this long enough to know that if you have an exclusive interview with one of the most famous players in the world, you credit yourself.

Well, Mediawatch’s alarm bell looks to be in fully working order. By Wednesday, Xavi had spoken to Spanish newspaper Sport, and denied not only talking about Dele Alli or Manchester City, but even speaking to The Sun in any interview.

Maybe they got his identical twin by mistake? Maybe Xavi has short-term memory loss? Because the alternative is that someone at The Sun made up quotes in order to produce a back-page exclusive. And that really would be naughty.

 

Do as I say, not as I said
On Tuesday afternoon, Phil Neville posted a photo on Instagram of his ideal Manchester United team for next season. It consisted of: Hugo Lloris, Antonio Valencia, Eric Bailly, Raphael Varane, Benjamin Mendy, Tiemoue Bakayoko, Ander Herrera, Paul Pogba, Antoine Griezmann, Gareth Bale and (a magically fit) Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Six new players in there, you will notice. No space for Anthony Martial, Juan Mata, Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Chris Smalling, Luke Shaw. Nor for Marcus Rashford.

It must have been a different Phil Neville, then, who said in 2015:

“Pumping millions into academies is superficial unless your manager buys into the vision of producing young players for your club. I only see a few clubs in the Premier League now who actually see the vision all the way through. I see plenty who have a vision until the age academy football finishes. Then there is a massive black hole young players drop into and just get lost.”

Neville singled out Manchester United as a club deserving of praise for playing youngsters. Good job he left with David Moyes, eh?

And it must have been a different Phil Neville who blamed foreign managers for the problem:

“It’s foreign managers. A foreign manager would play a foreign player. Foreign players would then get in the way of our youngsters. They are not prepared to give our kids a chance, they don’t believe in them enough. You want instant success. So you get players at 26 who are ready-made, rather than produce your own.”

Players at 26 who are ready-made like Antoine Griezmann, you mean?

Bemoan the lack of opportunity for youngsters. Blame foreign managers for the issue. Express your desire for your favourite club to sign six new mostly foreign players and put young talent (including Marcus Rashford) on the bench.

Nailed it.

 

Good Evans
The Times’ Matthew Syed has a style. Pick a topical issue, gauge the majority (and often logical) stance on said issue and then take up a position several fields to its left. Or usually right. It’s one thing when his column is on mild, temperate matters, but Syed truly comes into his own when he picks a controversy.

The main chunk of Wednesday’s column is used to explain why Ilie Nastase’s racism wasn’t actually bad (‘Too often, racism is positioned as a bad news story’), because nobody needs defending after this weekend quite like Nastase.

Still, Syed also touches on a football hot potato, and that’s where Mediawatch gets to project our astonishment and anger rather than simply mutter it under our breath.

‘I do hope that all those people who campaigned to stop Ched Evans rejoining Sheffield United in 2014 will now be apologising to him.’

They probably won’t, Matthew. They campaigned not just on a legal issue, but moral. They felt employing him sent an inappropriate message to young supporters. They pointed out that ‘serving his time’, as Syed writes, entitled Evans to freedom rather than a job at their club.

‘No, this was a point of principle, for Jessica Ennis-Hill, who said that she would withdraw her name from a stand at Bramall Lane if the club gave their former player a contract, as well as for Ed Miliband, the Labour leader at the time, Clive Efford, who was the shadow sports minister, and dozens of others who waded in.’

For ‘waded in’, read ‘had a perfectly valid opinion’.

‘Evans’ conviction was quashed by the Court of Appeal last year and it took a retrial jury just two hours to acquit him. He has since played for Chesterfield in League One but is, with poetic symmetry, about to rejoin United.’

Yes, he really did describe any part of this sorry affair as ‘poetic symmetry’. F**king hell.

‘So, let Ennis-Hill and the others retract their objections to his employment. Let them apologise for compounding (if inadvertently) a miscarriage of justice. If they do not, we will be entitled to conclude that they were not interested in justice after all. They were virtue signalling, playing to the gallery, the most contemptible form of celebrity intervention.’

Truly incredible. Mediawatch would be standing to applaud were we not suffering concussion after repeatedly banging our head against the table.

Syed is a clever man. To blame Ennis-Hill for ‘compounding a miscarriage of justice’ is verging on libel. To accuse her of ‘virtue signalling’ for saying that a convicted rapist (at that time) playing for her club meant that she wanted no official affiliation jumps beyond the line of reason. But to call Ennis-Hill out for a lack of personal apology to Evans is obscene.

As ever with Syed, Mediawatch is left wondering one question, repeated over and over: ‘Why?’.

 

Upselling
‘Jurgen Klopp has confirmed Steven Gerrard will make an emotional return alongside the top stars of his current Liverpool generation’ – David Anderson, Daily Mirror.

Because what could be more emotional than playing a lucrative friendly in Australia three days after the end of the season with a group of players who will give precisely zero sh*ts about the match.

 

Back to black

Colour of boots worn in Rashford’s Twitter avatar: Red.

Colour of boots worn when scoring against Chelsea in his last league game: White and blue.

Colour of boots worn by Rashford during Euro 2016: Blue.

 

Feel the Moyes
For anyone wondering how David Moyes is dealing with Sunderland’s desperate season, he has entered the ‘talking about himself in the third person’ stage:

“It would be wrong to talk about David Moyes and his reputation. I think you would look at it and say that Sunderland has been a difficult job for any manager to come and take. A lot of managers have found this a difficult gig, not just me. I think there is a lot of that, there is a big bit of all that to be taken into consideration.”

Sure Davey, but nobody found it quite as tough as you. Sunderland haven’t been relegated since 2006, and each of the last few managers at least achieved a great escape before being sacked, rather than meek collapse.

“I will always look at myself and question myself to see if I could have done better. You have a way of winning, which I have done, but obviously I am finding there are ways of losing as well.”

You have indeed. And you’re actually better at losing than winning.

“But it will definitely get better. We will definitely win games. That will change, no doubt about that. I believe it will change this season. There is no question at all that it will turn around – I hope it’s soon.”

There’s blind optimism, and blind optimism. A reminder that Sunderland could be relegated this coming weekend. Look forward to Moyes telling us that Sunderland would be top if the table was turned upside down. And he’s hopeful that will happen.

 

How to do stats badly
‘The stats which say Sanchez is both the best AND worst Premier League player in the final third’ – Daily Mirror.

It’s almost as if… oh we give up.

 

This is not a clever thing to write
‘Chelsea’s secret ploy to dominate English football can be revealed,’ writes Andrew Dillon in The Sun.

‘Boss Antonio Conte insisted his decision to play Nathan Ake in defence ahead of veteran John Terry on Saturday was down to tactics.

‘Poppycock! One look at shaggy-haired Ake alongside defensive partner David Luiz and it’s clear the sneaky plan is to confuse rivals by putting identical players next to each other.’

It’s clearly a (really poor) gag, but is this really a tasteful or appropriate thing to write/publish?

 

Predictable headline of the day
“The last time I was this excited about a United youngster was, well, you can go right back to Paul Scholes and David Beckham for that. As for Ronaldo I can see the similarities. Everybody goes on about Rashford’s pace but he’s also got unbelievable feet for someone so quick. So I can see similarities with Cristiano – and if he becomes half the player Ronaldo is then we’re all in for a delight” – Lee Sharpe.

‘Marcus Rashford is Manchester United’s new Cristiano Ronaldo, claims Lee Sharpe’ – Daily Mirror.

No he bloody didn’t.

 

Tactical genius
“We have played well in recent games. We have had good moments. We need to stop conceding and score more” – David Moyes.

Prove him wrong.

 

Ask a simple question
‘Why is the Manchester derby being played on a Thursday? How to watch Man City v Man Utd’ – Daily Express.

Eyes are crucial, here.

 

Football story of the day
‘Leicester star Jamie Vardy installs steel ring around £2.5m mansion to protect it from FOXES’- Daily Mirror.

 

Quote of the day
“The foxes are a menace and they kill for fun. Once one gets into a hen house it is game over for the birds. I once lost 12 in a night. It was a case of ‘Hens 0 Fox 12.’ They will keep coming back to the same area until they find a weakness in the defence and then they’ll pounce” – A ‘local’ explains what foxes do to the Daily Star.

‘Can you turn this into a laboured metaphor for football?’

 

Recommended reading of the day
Louise Taylor on Sunderland vs Middlesbrough

Rob Smyth on Carlos Kaiser.

Michael Cox on Arsene Wenger.